


the phantom thieves: do not go gentle

by raw_sausig (crystal_gay)



Series: the phantom thieves: gay memefuckers [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: ADHD Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Character, Character Death Fix, F/F, Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Violence, M/M, Memes, Mental Illness, Multi, Post-Canon, Timelines, Trans Character, Weddings, goofs, lets go lesbians let’s go, that gay shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 69
Words: 44,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystal_gay/pseuds/raw_sausig
Summary: In the last edition of our story, Akira was sucked out of time, into another world. Now his friends need to get him back, and maybe goof off a bit along the way.





	1. aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> backstreet’s back, _alright_  
>  legit tho if this is your first time reading this series then head to the first fic otherwise this’ll get wacky super fast  
> also ur gonna need a morse code translator for this bad boi, just a heads up

**Weak Boye created “rescue squad”!**

**Weak Boye added 6 users to “rescue squad”!**

chihiro fujisaki: no, leave me alone

motivational swedish: i’m with futaba on this one

Weak Boye: what if i told you i could find him?

chihiro fujisaki: but hes in another reality

Weak Boye: ok, hang in there, this is about to get weird

chihiro fujisaki: i dont wanna hear it

motivational swedish: same

motivational swedish: we can’t fix this.

Weak Boye: just check your phones

motivational swedish: why should we? akira is gone, and you aren’t our leader, akechi.

Weak Boye: … ? akechi? since when do you- oh. oh no.

chihiro fujisaki: im heading to my room. see you.

**chihiro fujisaki left “rescue squad”!**

motivational swedish: whoever that is, i’m with them.

**motivational swedish left “rescue squad”!**

switchblade lesbian: hm? mako-chan?

engayged lesbian: Yes, Okumura-san?

engayged lesbian: Wait. Why is this my name?

switchblade lesbian: i’m as confused as you!!! sorry, whoever you are, but we have to go.

**engayged lesbian left “rescue squad”!**

**switchblade lesbian left “rescue squad”!**

Weak Boye: okay, this is bad. I… okay.  _ @nasty sportsbi @nasty artace _

Weak Boye: do you remember who i am?

nasty sportsbi: uh, duh!!! you’re,,,, hang on lemme,,,, i had it but i lost it

nasty artace: Maybe a picture would help.

Weak Boye: maybe. here 

**Weak Boye sent group.jpg!**

nasty artace: I feel like I know you… But I don’t know where from.

nasty sportsbi: i def know you, and i know i’m upset with you for some reason,,,,, idk why, but i think we’ll stay. this is freakin you out, and that ain’t ok

nasty artace: I agree. Plus, I feel like I lost someone very recently.

Weak Boye: oh thank god

Weak Boye: the others didn’t remember anything

nasty sportsbi: the others???

nasty artace: I recognize you, do you go to Kosei?

Weak Boye: i did

nasty sportsbi: ok runthrough of them, i recognize takamaki, council prez, the pink haired girl, and i feel like i recognize you and nasty artace, especially artace

nasty artace: Thank you. Call me Kitagawa.

nasty sportsbi: you can call me sakamoto!!!

Weak Boye: okay, the orange haired girl is futaba sakura, and the boy with glasses is ▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓. you both were very close with him, and the rest of us too.

nasty sportsbi: k stop messin with us, who’s glasses dude

Weak Boye: i told you, he’s ▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓.

nasty artace: Is your keyboard broken?

Weak Boye: hmmmm,,, do you know the name ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓?

nasty sportsboy: that aint a name dude

Weak Boye: okay here

Weak Boye: a

Weak Boye: k

Weak Boye: i

Weak Boye: r

Weak Boye: a

Weak Boye: k

Weak Boye: u

Weak Boye: r

Weak Boye: u

Weak Boye: s

Weak Boye: u

Weak Boye: can you read that?

nasty sportsbi: yeah, it says ▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓

nasty sportsbi: wait whaaaat my phone’s doing the thing now when i type ▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓

nasty artace: ▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓? That name feels… Familiar.

Weak Boye: okay obviously i can see it, but nobody else can

nasty sportsbi: ya,,,, the glitchy thing is starting to hurt my head

Weak Boye: hmmm,,,, let me test something

Weak Boye: joker

Weak Boye: ok from now on we call him joker

Weak Boye: you two won’t remember this, but i was crow, ry- sakamoto was skull, and kitagawa was fox. im going to explain something, tell me when there’s a censor

Weak Boye: we were a part of a group called the ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓.

nasty artace: Censor.

Weak Boye: damn, okay

Weak Boye: we were part of a,,,, certain group, that stole the hearts of bad people. we had something called ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓.

nasty sportsbi: censor

Weak Boye: fUCKIN FINE FUCKIN GODDAMN YADODABBADOOH YOU’RE KILLING ME RN

Weak Boye: we had some magical helpers that let us steal hearts of bad people in a cognitive world of theirs that will absolutely static out if i say it

Weak Boye: and the app that helped us with it is back and i need to ask you something

Weak Boye: do you see an app with a red eye on your phone

nasty artace: No.

nasty sportsbi: nope

Weak Boye: ok i have a theory. our contacts have our locations shared, go to mine. kitagawa, this is going to be a  _ very  _ trippy experience for you. we’re roommates long story short

nasty sportsbi: k

nasty artace: Alright.

-

Goro paced around his and Yusuke’s living room. The Phantom Thieves’ memories were being erased, at least, all of the ones connected to ▓▓▓▓▓. He heard a knock on the door and smiled sadly as he opened it, seeing the blonde and the blue-haired boy he had grown to trust.

“Hi. Come, sit down. So, my theory is simple. Back when we had our… Helpers, we couldn’t have… I’ll call them Castles. When we had our Helpers, we couldn’t have Castles. And everyone who had a Helper had the app with the red eye. So, long story short, we, er,  _ you _ fought a god. I was in a coma at the time, long story, you’ll remember it later. Anyways, my thoughts are that it knew the only way to prevent us from remembering was to take away our Helper.” Yusuke nodded as he fiddled with his hair, and Ryuji leaned forwards, listening intently. Goro continued.

“Now, the only way to prevent us from having a Helper is for us to have a Castle, with Sakura as an example. So, I think that this god took away your Helpers and gave you Castles. Of course, there’s only one way to test this.” With that Goro pulled out his phone and opened the Metaverse Navigator. He sighed and said,

“Ryuji Sakamoto.” Hit. He backed out of the screen as Ryuji gaped, then turned to Yusuke, who was barely paying attention anymore.

“Yusuke Kitagawa.” Hit. Yusuke gasped. Goro frowned and looked at the two, hoping they’d understand.

“So… you’re sayin’ that our memories are locked away because of this Castle thing?” Goro nodded, brightening at Ryuji’s words.

“Right. And if we get you your Helper back, we probably can unlock those memories. So… Who wants to go first?”

-

A disturbance in Ren’s mind, a tug at the end of a rope that he couldn’t see. He tried to think of the names, but fog filled his mind. No matter. He kept walking to school in the pouring rain.

-

Goro sighed.

“Ry-  _ Sakamoto _ , are you sure? It’s pretty tiring when you first head in.” Ryuji nodded and grinned, as Yusuke twiddled his thumbs.

“Listen, I want to remember them. Plus, you kind of need me. Who knows what my darkest and worst qualities are better than me?” Goro laughed in spite of himself.

“I like your style. Any idea what the distortion would be? Like, what a place would become?” Ryuji tapped his chin as Yusuke softly said,

“Labyrinth. I don’t know why, but a labyrinth came to mind.” Hit. Goro nodded, impressed, as Ryuji and Yusuke mulled over the final blank. Location. Ryuji whispered,

“Shujin Academy.” Hit. Goro frowned along with Yusuke. Goro stood up and said,

“Alright, we have work to do. Can you get us to Shujin?”

-

He had awakened just hours before, and he broke down. He remembered the names, remembered his friends. He screeched into his pillow and sobbed, punching the mattress and hyperventilating.

_ “NO NO NO, IT WAS STICKING! LET ME BACK, LET ME BACK!”  _ He tugged at the thread in his mind, once, twice, three times. A tug from the other thread answered. Ren gasped and tugged the thread, then held it. If he was right, Goro knew Morse Code because Haru insisted that they have another means of communication. Soon, he felt a response. He wrote it out on a scrap of paper.

__ _ \--- / -.- / .- / -.-- / ..--.. _

He smiled and tugged back a response.

__ **... / -.-. / .- / .-. / . / -..**

He waited for a few minutes. Goro probably had a long message.

_ \--- / - / .... / . / .-. / ... / -. / --- / - / .-. / . / -- / . / -- / -... / . / .-. _

His heart sank. He quickly translated and tugged,

**.-. / -.-- / ..- / .--- / .. / --..-- / -.-- / ..- / ... / ..- / -.- / . / ..--..**

A quick response.

__ _ \- / .-. / -.-- / .. / -. / --. / --..-- / .- / .-.. / .-.. / .--. / .- / .-.. / .- / -.-. / . / ...  _

He shattered. He tugged out a quick message, “Sleep”, and then laid down, waiting for “Igor” to show himself.


	2. acceptance

Goro stretched and felt at the long beak on his mask, trying to keep his cool. This felt  _ wrong _ . At least it was better than the other mask. Ryuji and Yusuke gasped, before Ryuji burst into laughter.

“Dude! You look like the effin Tesla logo!” Yusuke hid a smile behind his hand as Goro pouted.

“Yours didn’t look any less ridiculous! Oh, while we’re here, call me Crow. You two are Skull and Fox respectively.” The two nodded, and committed the names to memory. Ryuji sighed.

“Looks pretty small for a labyrinth, yeah?” Goro looked at the opening to the labyrinth and nodded. That’s when the Palace’s ruler emerged, small and limping, with a mask on its face.

“Hey. What’re you doin’ here? Leave me alone.” Without warning, the area surrounding him flashed with lightning.

_ “LEAVE!”  _ Ryuji took one step towards him, and another. One foot, two feet. Yusuke’s eyes brightened in understanding.

“I think I remember something… He’s like that when he feels weak. And if that version of him feels weak…” Ryuji grabbed the Shadow and pinned it to the ground. He looked up at the two and grinned.

“Then I’m strong!” He took the mask from his Shadow’s face and shoved it onto his own. There wasn’t any face ripping, just a roar of crackling electricity. Seiten Taisei emerged. Ryuji gripped his mask for purchase as memories flooded back. He looked up and shouted,

_ “ _ Oh, holy shit! You guys, I remember everything!”

-

Akira felt another tug. A new thread. And he felt a little less attached to this new world.

-

Goro gaped. Ryuji had accepted the Shadow of himself in about ten seconds flat. Ryuji shrugged and slung his pipe over his shoulder.

“What, I have my heart on my sleeve! ‘S probably more about remembering than anything.” He turned to Yusuke after he uttered those words, eyes wide.

“ _ Shiiiiiit _ . Yu- Y’know what, eff this, Yusuke! Believe me, bro, we’re  _ definitely  _ on first-name basis. You think you can try to remember for me, babe? BRO, I MEAN BRO. Anyways, maybe we can knock this out in one day!” Yusuke nodded as they exited the Palace, watching the labyrinth crumble. Immediately, Ryuji fell to the ground, exhausted. Goro sighed and slung one of Ryuji’s arms over his shoulder, motioning for Yusuke to do the same. The two carried him back to his dorm, and laid him down on the couch. Goro sighed and turned to Yusuke, pointing towards Akira’s bedroom door.

“Look in the closet for any shirt that smells strongly of coffee and cologne that’s minty for some godforsaken reason. You’ll know the right shirt when you smell it. It’ll smell like home.” Yusuke nodded and went into the room to rummage through Akira’s closet. Goro sat patiently on a chair nearby, waiting for Ryuji to come to. Slowly, Ryuji sat up and groaned.

“Ugh, my head… So, I really forgot, huh? That means that… That means…” Ryuji broke down. Goro looked around only to see Yusuke still looking, and moved to his last resort. He tugged on the string binding him and Akira.

__ _.-.     -.-- ..-     .--- .. .-.     . -- . --  -... . .-. … _

**..     ... ---     -.- .- -.--     ..--..**

__ _ -. --- --..-- / .--. .- .-.. .- -.-. . / -.. .. ..-. ..-. . .-. . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / -. --- .-. -- .- .-.. .-.-.- / .-. ..- .-.. . .-. / --. .-. . . - / ..- ... _

Ryuji felt a tug. He leaped up and turned to Goro, tears still streaming down his face.

“What was that? Was that him?” Goro nodded, and sighed.

“I’ll teach you one thing to say to him. Okay? Tell me what it is.” Ryuji nodded, and Goro slowly taught him the phrase that he so desired. Yusuke came out with the shirt just as Ryuji finished learning, and Goro handed it to him as Ryuji concentrated.

.. / .-.. / --- / ...- / . / -.-- / --- / ..-

-

Worlds away, laying on his bed, Akira smiled. He flexed his fingers a little and tugged the message back. Communication was slow, but possible. Goro would probably tackle Yusuke next.


	3. someone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i know i said i wouldn’t upload spam but,,,, hhhghhghh

Ryuji, Goro, and Yusuke stood outside of Futaba’s door. Goro had his face in his hands, having been there for not even ten seconds.

“Ugh, what can I do to get her to talk to me?” Ryuji mulled it over, before saying,

“Just… Knock on her door, and let Yusuke handle it. Remember, they were pretty damn close.” Goro nodded and knocked on Futaba’s door, then ushered Yusuke to the front. The door creaked open, and Futaba was laying on the floor.

“I said go away, Sojiro! I don’t wanna- I… Who are you? I know you, but… Why don’t I?” Yusuke crouched down to Futaba’s level and smiled.

“Hello. We don’t remember each other, but I’m told we were close. My name is Yusuke.” Futaba eyed him suspiciously before simply saying,

“Futaba. Now, what do you three want?” Goro sighed and handed Yusuke a piece of paper, while Ryuji patted his shoulder. Yusuke read off of the paper, saying,

“We need your help. There are two of us here who remember something important, and two of us who don’t. We need to make that four who remember, and you’re someone we need desperately now. Please trust me.” Futaba shook her head and said,

“Five. Here, kitty kitty…” They saw Morgana. Ryuji’s hands flew to his mouth.

“Holy  _ shit _ , the cat’s alive. I have never been so happy to see that little bastard’s face.” Morgana meowed indignantly.

“I am not a cat! Wait… Ryuji? Yusuke? Akechi? Oh, thank goodness, I found Futaba, but she doesn’t understand me! She doesn’t remember anything, and she can’t hear ▓▓▓▓▓’s name!” Yusuke winced.

“Who?” Morgana gasped as Goro nodded.

“He doesn’t remember yet either. We need to tackle Futaba, who can help us with Yusuke. You can help us with Haru, who can help us with Makoto. Makoto and Yusuke can finish our lineup with Ann.” Morgana nodded.

“Futaba has a ▓▓▓▓▓▓ again. You guys heading in?” Ryuji nodded with Goro, as Yusuke sighed.

“I should stay here and make sure she’s okay.” Futaba stood shakily.

“No. I wanna know what that cat is saying, and I want to know who this blue idiot is. I want to remember him, cause I know I can.” Morgana grinned.

“Let’s do this.”

-

Futaba’s Shadow greeted them at the entrance, waving Futaba over. Futaba sat down cross-legged across from the Shadow, and it did the same.

_ “Hello, Futaba.” _

“Hey, me. We’ve probably met, so here’s the gist. Can you give back my memories real quick?” The Shadow snickered as it walked over to Futaba and put its mask over her eyes, as small blue flames grew around her.

_ “Consider this a free pass. The rest will be more… Difficult, physically.” _

-

Another thread. Must be Futaba, now that he thinks about it. Akira thumbed lazily through his schoolwork before setting it down. Why should he bother? He’d be going back soon.


	4. paler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can’t stop won’t stop

Futaba was clinging to Yusuke’s leg, as he looked towards Goro and Ryuji, confused.

“Oh my god, Inari! I missed you, I mean I couldn’t, but I would have missed you!” Ryuji sighed and almost slung a nonexistent pipe over his shoulder.

“He doesn’t remember you, Tabs. Right now you’re just a stranger clinging to his leg.” Futaba blushed and quickly scrambled off of his leg before clinging to Ryuji’s. He sighed and accepted his fate as he said,

“Yeah, yeah, I missed you too. D&D buddies?” Futaba held up a hand, and Ryuji high fived her.

“D&D buddies. So, can we get Inari now? I want to be able to hug the loser without confusing him.” Goro shrugged and looked to Ryuji, who nodded.

“Yeah, man. I miss my boyfriend. Well, boyfriends. You know what I mean. Shit, wait-” Futaba squealed and stood up to face Yusuke, ignoring Ryuji’s slip-up.

“You don’t remember me yet, but when you do, I’m gonna hug you. So be ready.” Yusuke shrugged and looked to Goro, who was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. He tugged,

_ -.-- / --- / ..- / .-. / -... / ..-. / .. / ... / .- / ..-. / ..- / -.-. / -.- / .. / -. / --. / -. / . / .-. / -.. _

-

Akira laughed as he finished translating the message before responding,

**-.-- / --- / ..- / .-. / -... / ..-. / .. / ... / .- / ..-. / ..- / -.-. / -.- / .. / -. / --. / -. / . / .-. / -..**

There was a quick response that nearly made him drop the book he was reading, he was laughing so hard.

_ -... / --- / - / .... / --..-- / -.-. / --- / -- / . / --. / . / - / ..- / .-. / -- / .- / -. / … _

-

Futaba grinned as she looked at Yusuke, before quickly reciting to Goro,

“Keywords are concert hall and Kosei. Just trust me.” Goro quickly inputted them into the app. Hit. Futaba jumped up and down and clicked her tongue rapidly.

“Hell yeah, I need to thank Masayoshi fucking Shido before kicking his ass!” Ryuji high fived her as Goro cocked his head.

“What?” Ryuji tried to catch his breath as Futaba explained.

“So, way back in Shitty’s ▓▓▓▓▓▓, we got to talking about what our ▓▓▓▓▓▓s would be like, since we kept complaining about his. ▓▓▓▓▓ didn’t answer, but Ryuji said labyrinth and Shujin. Mine was the same as before, and Inari said a concert hall and Kosei. I think Haru said a prison and her home, Makoto said… Something and Shujin, my memory isn’t perfect, and Ann said a film studio and… Jesus. Tokyo. We agreed that your ▓▓▓▓▓▓ would be a steaming pile of shit.” Ryuji guffawed as Goro sighed and shook his head.

“I mean, yeah, I agree, but at least now we have everyone but Makoto’s keywords. Success.” Yusuke rolled his eyes and motioned for them all to leave.

“Come on. I want to remember.” 

-

Ryuji gaped as he saw the scale of this ▓▓▓▓▓▓. He quickly looked all around him before whispering,

“Sorry Mommy, but  _ what the fuck. _ ” Goro gasped and quickly tugged,

_..-. / ..- / -.-. / -.- / -.-- / ..- / ... / ..- / -.- / . / .----. / ... / .--. / .- / .-.. / .- / -.-. / . / -- / .- / -. _

**.-.. / --- / .-.. / .. / -... / . / - / .. / - / .----. / ... / .... / ..- / --. / .**

_.--. / .- / .-.. / .- / -.-. / . / ... / .. / --.. / . / . / --.- / ..- / .- / .-.. / ... / -.. / .. / -.-. / -.- / ... / .. / --.. / . _

**-... / .. / --. / .--. / .- / .-.. / .- / -.-. / . / . / -. / . / .-. / --. / -.--**

Goro started laughing so hard he nearly cried. Futaba snickered as she watched him fall to the ground with laughter as Ryuji looked at Goro questioningly.

“Fucking… Big ▓▓▓▓▓▓ energy…” Futaba giggled, and soon enough, Goro felt a rippling tug.

_.-. / -.-- / ..- / .--- / .. / .... / .- / ... / ... / -- / .- / .-.. / .-.. / .--. / .- / .-.. / .- / -.-. / . / . / -. / . / .-. / --. / -.-- _

That is the story of how Goro Akechi died.

_ “Excuse me… Who are you?”  _ Yusuke’s Shadow emerged from behind a pillar, still half hidden. Yusuke sighed and stormed over to it, his fists clenched. He pointed at the mask.

“Give it here.  **Now.** ” Frost grew at Yusuke and his Shadow’s feet as they fought for the mask, until Yusuke slammed it onto his face with astounding force, and a wall of ice separated him and his Shadow.

-

Another day, another thread. He seemed paler in the mirror now.


	5. glitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3

**hax created “god i hope this works”!**

**hax added 4 people to “god i hope this works”!**

hax: welcome to my inter-universe chatroom, prepare for glitches

Jared Leto: Hey what the fuck, who is this

pancaek: HOLY SHIT IS THAT JOKER

hax: maybe??? wasnt sure which one to tune in on, there are a LOOOTTT of protagonists in the multiverse, hell, i may have even gotten smashc and thatd be fuckin wild as shit

Jared Leto: !!!!!! GORO!!!!! FUTABA!!!!!! HOLY SHIT I MISS YOU wait are you *my* goro and futaba

bOnE?: is that

bOnE?: my dude, is that my bf (pronounced beef)

Jared Leto: Ryuji

bOnE?: yeah

Jared Leto: RYUJI!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS ARE THE RIGHT ONES!!!!!

bOnE?: !!!! JOKER OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU I LOVE YOU

ylvis: Is that… No.

Jared Leto: !!!!!!!!!! YUSUKE!!!!! FUCK I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH

Jared Leto: Where are all the rest of you guys??? Why can’t you say my name?

ylvis: *Gays.

Jared Leto: Gays, my bad

pancaek: uhhhhhh boneless ▓▓▓▓▓▓

Jared Leto: Boneless whatmstdve

pancaek: ask fuckin yalba-whatever, i am 98 percent sure this is his fault

Jared Leto: Gays its fuckin trippy texting you all right now

Jared Leto: We’re like mid kamo-shitty and sHIT OTHER RYUJI IS LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDEr

pancaek: other world ryuji, steals ur mans

bOnE?: fight me other world ryuji

hax: how can u, u have small ▓▓▓▓▓▓ energy

pancaek: dKDHDKM

pancaek: god as soon as we all can see that word im changing his nickname

Jared Leto: I wanna tho

ylvis: Oh, you dealt with Fake Ryuji?

Jared Leto: Ya

Jared Leto: I feel kinda bad cause ive been pretty mean to yall this reality but tbh if i get attached itd be baaaddd so im willing to take the guilt

bOnE?: r U D E

Jared Leto: I mean, he isn’t you, he’s a different ryuji that i’m being mean to

pancaek: cursed ryuji, steals ur bones

bOnE?: fake ryuji can fight me in the multidimensional big bang burger parking lot

ylvis: Are they acting different?

Jared Leto: A little,,,, it’s crazy spooky weird, like we’re acting the same but there are like???? New people??? Wtf

ylvis: What?

Jared Leto: Lol yeah, it’s fuckin weird as shit

hax: ohhhh ok i think i can categorize the universes which’ll be helpful because i absolutely can’t keep this chat going for much longer without killing everyone’s phones

Jared Leto: Oh shoot i better go, kamowhomstdve raid today (it’s weird, ann hasnt shown up yet)

ylvis: Goodbye, love you.

bOnE?: love u bunches dude, ♡

Jared Leto: I love you all so much and when i get back i am absolUTELY going to hug you all so much you die

Jared Leto: As for the bfs (pronounced beefs), prepare for SO MANY smooches

pancaek: miss you dude, see you soon

hax: love u bro, imma disconnect the chat now

-

Ryuji sighed and pulled his phone to his chest, kicking his legs in the air like a teenage girl. Goro laughed as Yusuke stared at his phone a bit longer, blushing like a madman.

“So… You miss him, huh? Long distance must be hard.” Ryuji flipped Goro off as Yusuke put his phone in his pocket after taking a picture of the moment.

“So… I finally remember. God, I miss him…” Ryuji smashed his face into the couch, saying something that sounded like,

“Effin mood.” Goro laughed even harder as Morgana hopped onto Ryuji’s back, Futaba following suit.

“Haru next, right? We should get going, we have no time to lose!” Goro nodded in agreement as Futaba shoved Morgana in a messenger bag that was covered with pins.

“C’mon! Morgana is going to fall asleep soon!”


	6. love

“Hello, I’m Haru Okumura. How may I help you?” Futaba responded by dumping Morgana into Haru’s arms. Haru immediately went starry-eyed.

“Cute! I know this kitty, yes I do… Little kitty, pretty kitty… How can I help you all?” Haru’s tone had become noticeably friendlier after they gave her Morgana, and Futaba sighed in relief. Goro stepped to the front of the group.

“There’s something important that certain people don’t remember, and you’re unfortunately one of them. We want to give back your memories. Is that okay?” Haru nodded, confused. She couldn’t help but trust this group. Yusuke nodded, and Futaba grinned, opening the Metaverse app.

“Haru Okumura. Prison, home.” Hit.

-

Her Shadow was definitely her, just… Not. Ghostly pale, yellow eyes, a child in her oversized Phantom Thief attire. Haru crouched down to the little Shadow and ran her fingers through its hair.

“I know we both want these memories very badly. I promise that I’ll give them back someday. But will you pretty please hand the mask over?” The Shadow shook its head. Haru grinned and pulled it into a hug, before stealing the mask and running to the group before curtsying.

“Thank you, Little Haru! Sorry about that, I swear I’ll give it back someday.”

-

Another day, another thread. Sometimes, things phased through him for a moment.

-

Haru was a wreck. She had remembered Akira, yes, but she also remembered Makoto, and her engagement. Futaba sat her down on a couch and sighed.

“I’m not good with mushy stuff, so forgive me if I make it worse. But we can get Makoto back. She loves you so much, and she doesn’t remember yet. But she will, and she’ll give you so many kisses, and she’ll be so sorry.” Haru wiped her eyes and sniffled a bit, as Yusuke came to her.

“You and Makoto are soulmates. Intertwined by the strings of fate, and nothing can disentangle those threads. Somewhere out in Tokyo, Makoto Niijima is looking for something she’s lost, something she desperately needs, and that something is you. Memories are lost, but  _ emotions  _ remain. And that is the foundation of real, true love.” Ryuji gaped.

“Bro… That’s some profound shit.” Yusuke shrugged as Haru dried her tears and stood, looking at Morgana.

“I want to help Mako-chan. I love her, and I want her to remember that she loves me.” 

-

Makoto Niijima slammed the door in their faces. It wasn’t that they didn’t expect this, but it was jarring. Haru stepped to the front.

“Miss Niijima, please. We need to see you urgently. It’s about something that you’ve lost.” The door creaked open, and Makoto sighed.

“Come in.”


	7. vpn

The group had been working on Makoto’s keywords for hours. Haru groaned and faceplanted onto the desk, and Makoto sighed.

“I’m sorry. Shujin isn’t exactly the best place for thinking. Back when I went here, it was like a dungeon.” Hit. Futaba gaped.

“What the  _ fuuuuuuuck _ . Makoto, that’s kinky.”

-

Makoto’s Shadow guarded the entrance to the dungeon, almost as a warden.  Makoto took one step, another. Concrete cracked under her feet as she grabbed the Shadow by the shirt and pinned it to the wall.

“Give. It. Back.” The Shadow growled back at her and tried to hit her, only for Makoto to catch its arm and pin it to the ground. She gleefully plucked the mask off of its face and put it on.

-

Thread. The group really must have been on a roll. Futaba would probably open the chat again soon. Akira was practically invisible to those who weren’t looking for him now. He phased through things like a ghost, unless he concentrated.

-

ylvis: Hello, Akira. I’m adding Makoto and Haru.

**ylvis added 2 people to “god i hope this works”!**

Makoto Niijima: Hello, Akira.

Haru Okumura: hello!!

Jared Leto: That wont do, gimme a sec

**Jared Leto changed Makoto Niijima’s nickname to “yuor devil”!**

**Jared Leto changed Haru Okumura’s nickname to “yuor angle”!**

bOnE?: oh shit it’s the feds, hide the weed

yuor devil: No weed in this household.

pancaek: almost done~ just gotta get ann and we’ll be gucci

yuor angle: i’m so happy! soon we’ll all be a team again!!!!!

Jared Leto: Where do y’all think im gonna show up

your angle: maybe where you left?? shiiit, we’re going to have to go to america again

hax: i never want to see america again in my life

bOnE?: oh yeah, the car crash

Jared Leto: The what

pancaek: so when you started fading, you were driving and futaba was in the front seat, and well,,,,

ylvis: You slammed bumper-first into a tree, and Futaba broke her glasses and was sent to the hospital for evaluation, but she had a spare pair that didn’t break.

Jared Leto: Wait isnt her spare pair hello kitty themed

hax: yeah thanks to ur time-trippy ass i had to choose between being fucking blind or wearing goddamn fucking hello kitty glasses WITH THE EARS until we got back to japan

ylvis: She chose Hello Kitty.

hax: fuckign. people already mistake me for a goddamn motherfucking 12 year old, and then i looked goddamn 10 like im not fucking 10 i am legally allowed to get married in japan fuckihng goddamn

Jared Leto: ,,, Pics?

ylvis: Sorry, I think that Boss has them all.

Jared Leto: Damn thats gonna be hilarious

hax: if you send pics in here i will fucking die it already is taking an insane amount of focus to keep this shitty glitchy chatroom open, if you try to send image files  **_i will murder you in your sleep_ **

Jared Leto: Is it worth it,,,,, nah

bOnE?: jesus futaba u stressed or something

hax: GOLLY FUCKING GEE AM I???? IM KEEPING A MULTIDIMENSIONAL CHATROOM RUNNING AND TRYING TO LOCATE ANN  _ F U C K I N G  _ TAKAMAKI WHO SEEMS TO BE NOWHERE IN TOKYO.

ylvis: Jesus Christ.

hax: WHILE YALL ARE HAVING GOOFS I’M DYING OVER HERE AND oh hey found her (damn she has a good vpn)

pancaek: ,,,, are you okay?

hax: no

yuor angle: oh, mood?

yuor devil: I don’t think we appreciate Futaba enough.

hax: yeah no shit sherlock

yuor devil: Fuck you, Watson.

hax: alright let’s shut it down!!! phones are about to fry

pancaek: so,,,, let’s break and enter into ann’s house!!!!


	8. shadow

“Nope.” Ann  _ fucking  _ Takamaki slammed the door in their face. They knocked again. This time, Ann feigned ignorance, pretending to be a foreigner.

_ “Ota helvetti pois talostani juuri nyt. Vannon, aion leikata jonkun.” _ Futaba stared at her phone as the almighty Google Translate told her what the hell her friend was saying, before laughing.

“She basically told us to leave and that she would cut a bitch. Classy, Ann.” Ann flushed and tried to slam the door again. Makoto stopped her.

“Miss Takamaki, please excuse my colleague. Perhaps we could talk separately from all of them, as to not disturb you?” Ann nodded, and invited Makoto inside. They waited.

It had been almost fifteen minutes. They waited.

Half an hour. They waited.

Goro’s phone pinged with a text message.

**yuor devil:** All good, come on in.

Yusuke sighed in relief and opened the door, only to find Ann, cheery as ever, giving some tea to Makoto. She turned to the group, and upon seeing Yusuke, her eyes narrowed.

“ _ You. _ ” She stormed towards Yusuke, murder in her eyes, screaming what could only be profanities in Finnish. Makoto stepped between the two, and kept Ann from obliterating their only graphic designer.

“Ann, we talked about this. Deep breaths. He apologized almost a year ago. I know you don’t remember why you’re mad, but I can assure you, he is sorry for his actions.” Yusuke nodded, shaking like a leaf as Futaba did nothing but take pictures. Ann rounded on Ryuji.

“RYUJI. FUCKING. SAKAMOTO.  _ SENKIN ÄÄLIÖ! EN TIEDÄ MIKSI OLEN VIHAINEN, MUTTA KUN TEEN ... SE ON OHI, KERRON TEILLE SEN! VITTU SINÄ! _ ” Ryuji hid behind Haru as she nervously waited for Ann to try to kill him. Makoto put a hand on Ann’s shoulder.

“He apologized too, and paid you back for that train money. How about we sit down and let Goro explain, hm?” Ann shook her head, and pointed to Haru and Futaba.

“Those two. The others can get off of my property before I call the cops. Inviting them into my house? Hah!  _ Soittaisin mieluummin helvettiin kotiin! _ ” Goro shrugged and led the group outside as Futaba snickered at the translation. They waited for close to two hours before Makoto, Haru, Futaba, and Ann emerged. Ann looked at the group and went running for them, and they motioned to shield their faces, only to find themselves wrapped in a hug.

-

Ann’s Shadow prowled around them, and Ann mirrored it. The two circled each other until Ann struck first, picking the Shadow up and tossing it to the ground. As it recovered, Ann took the mask and put it on, cracking the Shadow’s whip a few times as she transformed.

“It’s good to be back.”

-

Thread. He had faded almost completely, it was a matter of hours before he left. The other versions of his friends were looking for him, but he didn’t care. He was going home.


	9. “Yusuke out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so now that everyone’s back imma be on that meme shit

hax: kirakira? you there?  _ @Jared Leto _

Jared Leto: Depends on how you mean.

hax: !!!!!!!!!!  _ @everyone  _ IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED HE’S HOME

npc: when wasn’t he?

shi a ho: yeah, futaba, i think you need to make sure you didn’t hurt your head in the crash oH MY GOD I REMEMBER

dog vote: Okay so he’s back for real

hax: for real for real

togoparty: I… My mind felt so blank!

jessica rabbit: Welcome home, Akira.

Mama_Sakamoto: this explains a lot, though i still don’t understand where you “left” to!

Jared Leto: Well, check leblanc’s attic

hax:  _ @yuor angle  _

yuor angle: i’ll send someone to get you!!!

Jared Leto: Thanks haru

Jared Leto: As soon as i get home everyone had better be ready for hugs

yuor devil: Everyone ready for Akira to hug them so hard that he squeezes the life out of you?

bOnE?: i’ve been ready since hmmm forever

ylvis: ^^^^

pancaek: WAIT BEFORE I FORGET

**pancaek changed bOnE?’s nickname to “small palace energy”!**

Jared Leto: dJDLLFKMJLKJ GORO OH MY GOD

small palace energy: what

Jared Leto: ♡

-

Jared Leto: Ryuji im home, did u know theres a vape shop by our college

pancaek: DNDDLDDLK:DNLKDNKLKNDL

ylvis: Nice.

small palace energy: the best part is if you wanted to you could go in and get a vape

small palace energy: we’re all of legal age there except futaba

hax: >:( IM ALMOST 18

small palace energy: in like, a few years

small palace energy: im basically 20

pancaek: almost old enough to legally get ur drink on

small palace energy: nahhhhhhh nope nope nope nope nope not gonna do that

pancaek: oh same thats cool

finnish line: oooh i had an idea!!!! thiefsquad meets at my house for truth. or. dare.

small palace energy: i love this idea

pancaek: is everyone good with that?

hax: yep!!

ylvis: Sounds good.

yuor angle: i like this plan!!!!!!

yuor devil: I would love to.

Jared Leto: Sounds fun

-

“Akira! Truth or dare?” Akira pondered the question for a second before turning to Ann, the asker.

“Truth.” Ryuji, who was wearing a bra and a baseball cap as part of previous dares booed. Ann shushed him and leaned forwards, Futaba’s glasses sliding down her face.

“Alright… When did you know that you were in love with your nerds? In  _ this  _ reality.” Ryuji choked on his own spit, and Yusuke started coughing beside him. Akira thought for a moment before starting.

“With Ryuji, I think it was the middle of summer vacation during our Thief year. We were walking out of a movie theater after seeing a really crappy movie, and the way the light hit his eyes, with that big, dopey grin? I was in L-O-V-E love. As for Yusuke, it took a bit longer. I was hanging out in Mementos with him in a safe zone, masks off while he was sketching. I watched him push a piece of hair out of his eyes as he was bathed with red light from a passing train, and I knew.” The group erupted in chaotic chatter, some whooping and whistling. Ryuji clutched his heart and fell backwards, pretending to die, while Yusuke hid his face in his hands. Akira chuckled and said,

“Alright, alright, settle down. Alright, Yusuke. Truth or dare?” Yusuke sighed and lifted his face out of his hands before saying,

“Truth. I know what you’ll dare me.” Akira pouted.

“Aww, you’re no fun! Alright, alright. When did you know you liked Ryu and I?” A hush fell over the room, and Futaba could be heard giggling from her spot in the circle. Yusuke groaned and said,

“Fine. For Ryuji… I think it was on the Hawaii trip. He seemed so happy, and… I couldn’t think about anything but him for days. As for Akira, it was the first time I saw you laugh, really laugh. I wanted to preserve that moment forever. Sometimes, I still do.” Ann cooed at Yusuke’s words as Goro made kissing noises behind him. Haru giggled as Yusuke said,

“Ryuji. Truth or dare?” Ryuji sighed and immediately said,

“Dare. I ain’t doing that mushy shit in front of these guys.” Yusuke grinned evilly as Futaba gripped Ryuji’s shoulder, giggling.

“I  _ dare  _ you to tell the group how you found out you liked Akira and I.” Ryuji groaned as Futaba laughed hysterically.

“That’s what you  _ get _ ! Now, spill!” Ryuji groaned loudly as Akira gave Yusuke a peck on the cheek. Ryuji sighed and began.

“Okay. I think when I figured out that I liked Akira was at two AM, on video call. Compared to you two, I took a while. I dunno, he was just doing something real stupid, and I actually said ‘oh shit’ out loud. With Yusuke… Hm. Probably when we had our first movie night at Futaba’s place. He convinced Futaba to let me come along, and he fell asleep on my shoulder.” The group cooed as Yusuke got up and left the room, his face in his hands.

“I’m done, I’m dead, my boyfriends killed me. Yusuke out.”


	10. ann effing takamaki

small palace energy: WELL THAT EXPLAINS A (forgive me mom) FUCKIN LOT

finnish line: ohhhh what did she tell u

small palace energy: im joining ur adhd/add squad

finnish line: !!!!!!!! ADHD/ADD SQUAD!!!!!!

small palace energy: YELL HEAH!!!!!!!

hax: damn inari, theyre putting our squad out of commision

ylvis: A tragedy.

shi a ho: yeah but nobody has joined my formerly suicidal squad 

npc: false

Jared Leto: Incorrext

shi a ho: AYYYYYYYYYY

npc: AYYYYYYYYY

Jared Leto: AYYYYYYY

Jared Leto: Also time hopper squad????

Jared Leto: It’s been five minutes come on

pancaek: ayyy (?)

Jared Leto: Oh thank god ayyyyyyy

togoparty: Impostor syndrome squad? 

yuor devil: Ayyyyyyy.

yuor angle: ,,,, adulting is hard squad???

jessica rabbit: Ayyyyyyy.

dog vote: Ayyyyyyy

Mama_Sakamoto: ayyyyyyyy

Jared Leto: Okay but depression squad

small palace energy: ayyyyyyy

finnish line: ayyyyyy!!!

ylvis: Ayyyy.

hax: ayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!

yuor angle: ayyyy!!!!

togoparty: Ayyyyyyyy!

yuor devil: Ayyyyyyyy.

jessica rabbit: Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

dog vote: Ayyyyyyy

Mama_Sakamoto: ayyyyyyy!!!

npc: ayyyyyyyyy!!!!

shi a ho: ayyyyyyyyyyy

hax: morgana says ayyyyyy

pancaek: AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jared Leto: I love this family

hax: luv u too asshole

small palace energy: debatable

ylvis: Try again later.

Jared Leto: MOMMMMMMMM THEYRE BEING MEAN

Mama_Sakamoto: lol u deserve it

yuor devil: Suck it.

yuor angle: rip

Jared Leto: Betrayal

Jared Leto: How dare, i have done so much for this family and this is the thanks i get

pancaek: not a week ago we pulled your ass out of an alternate dimension but ok

Jared Leto: ,,,, Fair

-

Jared Leto: Hey i noticed that ann is speaking a lot more finnish lately

finnish line: yeah, i wanna be proud of my heritage and all

finnish line: i speak english a lot already, and japanese is the language of the place i live. finnish is kinda left in the dust, yknow???

Jared Leto: I know what u mean, i feel u

finnish line: as for swedish and russian, i’m pretty good in swedish, and my russian is getting good!!!   
Jared Leto: Really? lets see

finnish line: ok!

finnish line: Мне девятнадцать лет.

Jared Leto: “I am nineteen years old?”

finnish line: yep!!! Хорошая работа! Я еще не идеален, но я стараюсь!

Jared Leto: Wow, any other languages you’re thinking of???

finnish line: togo is teaching me korean in exchange for me teaching her finnish!!

togoparty: I just logged on. Ann. 언제 태어 났니??

finnish line: 저는 11 월 12 일에 태어났습니다. Mistä olet kotoisin?

togoparty: Olen Japanista, mutta isäni työskentelee Koreassa. Teit hyvin testin kanssa.

finnish line: 너 잘 했어.

Jared Leto: What the actual fuck does that say

Jared Leto: My brain is having a heart attack trying to read that

hax: oh u big baby, google translate it. 你们 我可 俩 以参加你的课程吗？我认识中文！

togoparty: Oh, Chinese? Of course!

finnish line: i’ve always wanted to learn chinese!!!!

hax: lol txt me to meet up sometime, maybe someday we can all play ow in finnish or something

togoparty: Oh, that’d fuck up the rest of our team real good.

hax: exactly >:3

hax: also sojiro is never gonna let me do this otherwise, 他妈的

togoparty: You just said fuck, didn’t you?

hax: :33333

small palace energy: i log on to see this,,,, i mean i kind of understand the finnish thanks to my multilingual phase but,,,

Jared Leto: Multilingual phase?

small palace energy: yea i was obsessed with learning new languages, and i got ann to teach me a few basic things in finnish for my desserts back in the day

finnish line: let’s see what you remember!!!!! what’s the most polite way to say “hello”?

small palace energy: paska

finnish line: goooood!!!!!! now what’s “i’m glad to meet you”?

small palace energy: uhhh,,,, wasn’t it “vittu”?

finnish line: y e p!!!! that is absolutely the phrase!!!!

Jared Leto: Wow, that’s cool

-

**You have (1) new message from togoparty!**

togoparty: 그에게 말할거야?

finnish line: Ei onnistu. Tämä on liian hauska katsella. Vanhempani ovat täällä pian. Haluan katsoa, että junan hylky.

-

small palace energy: ANN EFFING TAKAMAKI


	11. makoto watched hannah montana

togoparty: Ann, Futaba, lesson time.

finnish line: omw!

hax: here

-

“Okay, good. My turn! Futaba, how would you say ‘thank you’ in Chinese?” Futaba perked up and leaned onto Ann as Togo spoke.

“Mmm… It’s 谢谢. What’s ‘thank you’ in Korean?” Togo thought for a moment as Ann slowly began to braid Futaba’s hair.

“고맙습니다. How do I say ‘thank you’ in Finnish, Swedish, and Russian?” Ann groaned.

“Being multilingual in this class  _ sucks _ ! Swedish is  _ tack _ , Finnish is  _ kiitos _ . I think Russian is благодарю вас.” Togo groaned as Futaba sighed.

“Nope. Sticking to Finnish it is. 1-800-YIKES. Let’s play Overwatch before I die.” Togo jumped from her seat and grabbed her laptop, plugging in her headset. Futaba and Ann followed suit, all three logging in quickly as Futaba texted the rest of their team.

“Okay, thank God Ann is a switch main. You Baptiste first, then we go from there. Futaba, D.VA. I’ll Mei, and we’ll see what Yusuke and Yuuki do. Shiho is on Lucio.” Yusuke quickly locked in McCree, and Yuuki locked in Sombra. Ann giggled.

“So, you fighting for team hacker, Yuuki?” Futaba laughed and moved to the gate as the match began. They were attacking, and  _ damn _ the other team was good.

-

hax: WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
npc: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

shi a ho: FRIGGEN HELL YEAH

togoparty: Rank up, rank up, rank up!

ylvis: I feel blessed in this Chilis tonight.

finnish line: FUCK YEAH

Jared Leto: ?

hax: the pals and i were playing competitive, whats everyones rank??

finnish line: i think everyone but taba is diamond now!!! (idk how futaba got to grandmaster but damn she carries)

Jared Leto: U go

hax: btw  _ @ylvis  _ hope ur ready for the new campaign

ylvis: Absolutely not.

hax: hhhow do you mean

ylvis: Oh, I meant mentally prepared. Everything else is good.

hax: oh thank god, it’s been forever

togoparty: You two have been very cryptic.

yuor devil: Yes, I do have to be suspicious.

Mama_Sakamoto: everyone has their characters ready, right??

yuor devil: Yep.

jessica rabbit: Already have the modifiers and everything.

togoparty: Done and done.

small palace energy: done!!!

hax: fantastic

-

Futaba grinned evilly as the group sat down, leaving only two empty seats. The head of the table, and a seat between Sae and Ryuji’s mom. Futaba settled in between Sae and Ryuji’s mom as the group began to look around, confused.

“Oh, you thought that I was DM? No, no. I needed a break pretty bad.” Just then, Yusuke walked in and took a seat at the head of the table.

“Everyone, settle down. Let’s begin our new campaign.”

-

hax: wtf kind of name is OREMINE for a town

ylvis: It’s not like you did any better! Remember “Acid Creek”? Gee, I wonder what that creek was filled with!

togoparty: Shut up, our characters are being introduced! (Also, Acid Creek was full of frogs. Frog Creek was full of acid.)

-

“My name is Ceya Do’Cele. I’m a drow bard.”

“I’m Davisend Orfelle, and I’m a gnome fighter.”

“Oh, dear… I’m Lady Lyndon Alpin, and I’m a dwelf barbarian. Thanks for the dwelf character sheet, Futaba.”

“My name is Herama Yorke. I’m an orc sorcerer. You’re welcome, Makoto.”

“That leaves me… I’m Loren DePaine, and I’m a half-elf rogue.”

-

ylvis: Futaba, did you name yourself Herema after the Hermit arcana?

hax: nooooooo

Jared Leto: Yeeeepppppppp

hax: dammit bro

ylvis: I mean, the dwelf was a stroke of genius.

yuor devil: I’m the worst of both worlds.

finnish line: MAKOTO YOU WATCHED HANNAH MONTANA WITHOUT ME

yuor devil: Forgive me!


	12. pierced squad

Jared Leto: Hey ryuji yusuke

ylvis: ?

small palace energy: ya

Jared Leto: Surprise date night owo???

ylvis: I’m free.

small palace energy: sounds fun

Jared Leto: Where to

small palace energy: hmmm, i dont think much is open this late

ylvis: I have an idea. Meet me at the Hachiko statue in 20?

Jared Leto: Gotcha, omw

small palace energy: omw!!!!!

-

“What… Did you just sneak us into Shujin at midnight?” Yusuke laughed as he lead the two down the halls and up the stairs, running to Akira’s old classroom.

“Futaba snuck us in, technically. Now, show me around! I want to see your old world.”

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Futaba

hax: yeeesssss???

Jared Leto: You broke us into a school

hax: uh it was for your stupid date, ALSO i could snitch if u want

Jared Leto: Pls dont

hax: then the thieves have to get me out of class early tomorrow or hang out with me during the day

Jared Leto: UGH, FINE

-

“... Kurusu, Takamaki, why are you here? You left almost two years ago.” Akira shrugged and leaned forwards in his old desk, wearing an old Shujin uniform that was just a touch too small. Ann grinned as she sat on her old desk, chatting up a storm with some girls in the class. Futaba was giggling in the corner as she fought for space at her desk with Yusuke, finally settling to sit on his shoulders while he sat in her chair. Meanwhile, Haru and Goro drew on the chalkboard in the back of the room. Makoto walked up to Kawakami and sighed.

“I am… So sorry. My fiancee convinced me to join them.” To the class’s surprise, Kawakami burst out laughing.

“No way! Former student council president Niijima Makoto, engaged? Who is it?” Haru bounded over to Makoto and wrapped her arms around her, giggling.

“Me!” Kawakami went silent. It was almost ten seconds before she began laughing again, almost louder than before.

“Oh my god, all of you! Class, these are some of my old students. I had the two blondes, though the other only joined my class later on, the black haired one, you know Sakura, and then Niijima and Okumura. Those two were generally tagalongs. Ooh, let’s all catch up for the day! You can talk to my class, and it’ll be fun!” The class cheered at not having lessons, as the Thieves all gathered in the front. Kawakami grinned.

“Okay, all of you introduce yourselves!”

“You know that I’m Futaba, and this is Morgana!”

“Okumura Haru, it’s a pleasure.”

“Niijima Makoto, former student council president.”

“Yusuke Kitagawa. Wonderful to meet you.”

“Goro Akechi. Yes, I’m  _ that  _ Akechi.”

“Ann Takamaki!”

“I’m Ryuji.”

“I’m Akira Kurusu.”

The class’s hands shot up in unison at Akira’s introduction. Kawakami sighed.

“Sorry about this, the rumors are still floating around. Everyone, he did  _ not  _ kill anyone, maim anyone, kidnap anyone, or do hard drugs.” Most of the hands went down as Ann snickered.

-

small palace energy: futaba i love ur classmates

Jared Leto: “Did the black haired one do anything suspicious in class” y e s

finnish line: wtf what

Jared Leto: I made lockpicks in class, in my desk

Jared Leto: Nervous tic

small palace energy: ohhhh like my origami????

Jared Leto: Yeah like that

finnish line: ryuji makes origami???

Jared Leto: He makes origami roses to stay focused, yusuke and i get bouquets every day

Jared Leto: Do you guys have any hobbies like that

ylvis: I knit.

hax: i hack!!! once while i was doing homework i managed to hack my own firewalls from a few years back

finnish line: i sew

yuor devil: I tend to make jewelry.

yuor angle: i just stretch a lot (she does, my engagement ring after we realized i couldnt have a “switchblade” out in public is one she made herself!!!)

togoparty: I do doll customization. It’s quite fun!

shi a ho: i do magic tricks

npc: i make stickers!!! 

Mama_Sakamoto: i actually make candles!!!!!!

dog vote: I dont do much, just experiment with coffee

jessica rabbit: Calligraphy.

Jared Leto: Wait shiho you do magic tricks

shi a ho: yeah on weekends i do birthday parties

Jared Leto: Sleight of hand, is this your card, mind reading…???? owo

finnish line: she’s a fire eater

Jared Leto: Im sorry she  _ what  _

shi a ho: yeah lol

togoparty: That’s so badass.

yuor angle: oh yeah, could you move your apoxy and gooliope or whatever her name is????

togoparty: Oh, did I leave her on your desk?

yuor angle: yeah :(

togoparty: Sorry about that, on my way!

yuor devil: Babe, do you need any more earrings?   
yuor angle: no, i’m good!!!! thank you for asking uwu

Jared Leto: Do u do lip rings

yuor devil: For a price.

Jared Leto: ,,,, Do you pierce people

yuor devil: I mean, I  _ was  _ the one who pierced Goro and Ryuji…

small palace energy: btw thanks

yuor devil: No problem! No infections, right?

small palace energy: none!!! earrings didnt hurt that bad surprisingly

Jared Leto: Im so proud of u ryuji (but seriously could u pierce my lip)

yuor devil: Hmmm… 1000 yen.

Jared Leto: Done and done

yuor devil: Meet me at my dorm in 10.

Jared Leto: Can i bring my bfs to hold my hand

yuor devil: Yes…? It doesn’t hurt that bad.

Jared Leto: Your pain tolerance is very high, so forgive me if i don’t believe you

ylvis: I’m okay to be there.

small palace energy: im down

-

Jared Leto: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jared Leto:  _!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

ylvis: Akira is very excited about his lip.

small palace energy: idk i think i like my tongue piercing more

Jared Leto: Sapphie keeps playing with it

small palace energy:  _ exactly _

yuor devil: I must look very straightlaced for someone who runs an (illegal?) piercing center. How do people even trust me?

Jared Leto: Low prices, low standards

hax: explains why ryuji and yusuke keep you

Jared Leto: Ouch my mcman, ouch

pancaek: pierced squad????

Jared Leto: Pierced squad!!!!

small palace energy: pierced squad!!!!!!

yuor angle: pierced squad!!!!!!

Jared Leto: Wait where are you pierced

yuor angle: bellybutton

Jared Leto: Hot

yuor devil: I know, right?

yuor devil: Pierced squad!

Jared Leto: ?????

yuor devil: Tongue. I didn’t pierce it myself, but...

Jared Leto: !!!!!!!! Thats so badass omg

hax: hey would any of you slap me for 550 yen

npc: god no

shi a ho: nope!!

yuor devil: No!

yuor angle: i don’t need 550 yen, sorry

jessica rabbit: W h y ?

pancaek: maybe for 1100

finnish line: im with akechi tbh

small palace energy: 1660 and i’d do it

Jared Leto: Tbh i’d slap anybody for the right price

togoparty: Hmm, 550 yen? Tempting…

ylvis: I’d do it for free.

hax: GEE THANKS INARI, LOVE YOU

ylvis: Yeah, love you too.


	13. damn water

finnish line: hey yknow what the worst part of being in class with ryuji was

finnish line: while we worked all i would hear was “swing batterbatterbatter, swing batterbatterbatter, score! we’re no strangers to love… you know the rules, and so do i! can’t focus, dang brain…. focus focus focus!!!”

small palace energy: sorry ann :P

ylvis: hey futaba should i get a tattoo since i’m finishing my apprenticeship, figured it’d be symbolic.

hax: wrong chat inari

ylvis: DAMMIT

hax: dnhdkdk u tried

ylvis: Shut up.

hax: lol nope

Jared Leto: Why are those two so damn talented

jessica rabbit: Makoto learned to pierce from an impressively young age. She pierced her own ears when she was 14, but the holes closed up.

pancaek: rad

Jared Leto: Fantastic, but before we address that let’s address something else

pancaek: wait the tugging still works

Jared Leto: Apparently

finnish line: rad!!!! gotta learn morse code now,,,,,

-

Ten minutes later, the group recieved a tugged message.

__ _ \- / .... / .. / ... / .. / ... / .- / -. / -. _

-

ylvis: Rad.

hax: DJKKFNDKN

hax: waiiit does this mean the metaverse still works owo???

Jared Leto: And that was topic 2

pancaek: ,,,, i love where this is going tbh

small palace energy: ,,,, so r we back in business or

Jared Leto:  _ @npc  _ Start opening the phan-site up to requests again please, we’re back

npc: sweet! on it lmao

hax: can’t wait~

finnish line: oh fukin finally

yuor angle: !!!!!!!!!!

yuor devil: Hell yes.

ylvis: Sounds fun.

-

**You have (1) new message from hax!**

hax: joker, i think we know a few others with Persona Potential™ 

Jared Leto: ? Who

hax: yuuki, togo, and shiho

Jared Leto: Ohhh,,,, mementos test run soon, ok

hax: sounds good!

-

hax: YOU GUYS I FOUND ANOTHER OLD CHATLOG

Jared Leto: How old

hax: like,,,, fuckin MADARAME old, before you got my firewalls

Jared Leto: HOOOO MAMA

small palace energy: OMG SEND   
ylvis: ?????!  !!!!!   
finnish line: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

dad jokes: Okay, i know that new guy is like  _ insanely _ hot, but we have to stay focused

orphanann: what??? no???

trombone: yeah no man.

dad jokes: Just me????? Awww cmon

trombone: dont u like mishima

dad jokes: I can like more than 1 person!!!

orphanann: (this makes three)

dad jokes: Shut it ann

dad jokes: Anyhoodle

**dad jokes added “Kitagawa Yusuke” to “danny phantom thieves”!**

orphanann: first of all, ryuji

trombone: on it

**trombone changed Kitagawa Yusuke’s nickname to “fox sake”**

fox sake: Hello…? Don’t we already have a group chat?

orphanann: yeah but SOMEBODY didn’t want to have to just declutter it so here we are

trombone: meme shit goes here

fox sake: I just backread, and I am flattered. Perhaps we should focus on any future missions, however.

dad jokes: Lol sure cutie~

fox sake: Is he always like this?

orphanann: yeah he thinks he’s a suaveboy when really he’s just some nasty crimeboy

trombone: he flirts with EVERYYYOONNNEEE

dad jokes: LISTEN,

dad jokes: First if all i am in fact a suaveboy, shut up ann, second i don’t flirt with everyone!!! I make sure i know them at least, jeez

fox sake: Oh, he really is a nasty crimeboy, as you called it.

orphanann: yea we made this chat mooostly to roast him (and you btw sorry about that)

fox sake: Oh, that’s completely understandable. I was very… Rude.

trombone: u were a total dick but ok

orphanann: dONT MAKE ME HIT YOU

dad jokes: Kids, settle down, you’re both pretty

orphanann: on what planet is  _ ryuji  _ pretty

dad jokes: Just me???? Ok guess i’ll die

fox sake: No, I agree. There’s something almost  _ bright _ about him.

dad jokes: !!!!! OH GOD FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS

fox sake: I’m an artist, why wouldn’t I?

dad jokes: Oh i’m not an artist i’m just a Thirsty Gay

orphanann: you’re telling me,,,, honestly whenever we cross paths with a cute guy akira just DROPS TO THE GROUND he goddamn  _ pretends to faint _

dad jokes: Thirsty

orphanann: then get some damn water

dad jokes: Mishima’s contact is now “damn water”

orphanann: gross


	14. engaygment party

Jared Leto: Hey ann

finnish line: ?

Jared Leto: That thing we all have tonight at haru’s place, could you do my makeup

finnish line: ohhhh yeah!!!! sure lol

hax: dammit i was about to ask

yuor angle: same!!! :(

yuor devil: Same.

pancaek: same

small palace energy: i was gonna ask for clothes help

ylvis: Same.

finnish line: what if we all just meet up at haru’s house? get a head start n all

Jared Leto: I’m down, thiefsquad meet at haru’s for hair and makeup (+ style tips)

-

“Ryuji, could you zip me?” Ryuji zipped Makoto into her dress with one hand as he held out the other while Haru painted his nails. Ann was putting blush onto Akira as Yusuke tamed her hair into a bun, while Goro was doing Futaba’s hair as she tried to wrestle her skirt into a comfortable position. Akira looked at himself in the mirror and grinned.

“Hot. Yusuke, you’re up!” Yuske sat himself in front of the mirror, and the group rotated. Makoto was getting her nails done, Ryuji was continuing where Yusuke left off, Goro was looking through his clothes, and Akira was doing Goro’s hair.

Close to 30 minutes later, they were all finished. Everyone looked enchanting, (naturally), and Haru was overjoyed. She pulled Makoto close as Goro took his place beside her, while she shooed the rest out of the room regretfully.

“Sorry, but this is my engagement party. Family and fiancee only.” Futaba stood beside Haru, pouting.

“You just said that we were family while Ann was doing my makeup! We go in too.” Haru grinned and pulled the group close.

“I had hoped you’d say that.”

-

small palace energy: shit am i dd

pancaek: i mean im not drinking either but i dont want to drive

Jared Leto: Ya

hax: i cant drive so yeah

yuor angle: we don’t need a dd if you all stay over!!!

Jared Leto: O shit sounds good

-

Akira was going  _ wild. _ He had said that the first of their group to get engaged would end up with this on their hands, and he wasn’t lying. He was tearing up the dance floor with Ann, while Yusuke was dancing with Futaba. Makoto, Goro, and Haru were all dancing together, and somewhere along the way Sae had joined them. Ryuji was dancing with his mom, and having the time of his life. Ryuji walked to the sidelines, and Haru followed.

“Look at him go! He must be having fun.” Akira and Ann were in an intense dance competition, and Ann was absolutely winning. Ryuji took a long drink of his soda and sighed.

“I hope he is. He’s gonna have a wicked hangover tomorrow.” Even from far away, you could tell that Akira was drunk. How drunk, exactly?  _ Hella. _ Haru frowned.

“It’s just champagne…” Ryuji shook his head and pointed to Akira as he said,

“Yeah, but Akira’s a lightweight. So is Ann.” Akira rushed over, and his makeup still  _ somehow  _ looked fucking flawless. Haru whispered in Ryuji’s ear,

“Setting spray.” She walked away, probably to keep Ann from making too many bad choices. Akira pulled Ryuji from his chair and dragged him onto the dance floor, picking up a very surprised Yusuke on the way. Ryuji and Yusuke made eye contact as they made a silent agreement.  _ Never let him drink again. _

They had danced the night away, gotten Akira’s makeup off, and tucked him into a bed in one of Haru’s many guest bedrooms. He had passed out the moment he hit the pillows, and Ryuji didn’t blame him. Yusuke had dropped not long after, and now Ryuji was the only one awake. He walked out of the room, careful to leave a note on the door, and went to the kitchen, where painfully bright lights hit him. He was shocked to see Makoto there, trying to make something.

“Nngh… Makoto?” Makoto dropped the pan she was holding and yelped.

“Ryuji! What are you doing up?” Ryuji shrugged and helped her up as she nervously looked at the empty pan, inspecting it for scuffs or cracks.

“Just lookin’ for something to do until the boyfriends wake up. The usual.” Makoto nodded and sighed.

“Yes, every time I fall asleep without someone else close by, the nightmares come back. Plus, I may be a  _ little _ itsy-bitsy bit tipsy. Not looking forward to the hangover.”

“If you don’t want a bad hangover, then just don’t be Akira tomorrow. Dude went effin nuts.” Makoto snickered at the replacement swear.

“Would you like to join me? Ann taught me how to make… Uh… Red velvet cake the other day.” Ryuji perked up at the mention of cake.

_ “Yes.  _ Do you even have to ask?”

-

As dawn’s light filled the living room, Haru walked in to notice two flour-covered figures asleep on the couch, and a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. When she walked in, she saw a cake on the counter and a note in handwriting that could only be Ryuji’s.

_ Good morning, Haru. (i’m writin this out for makoto, she’s too tired to move from the couch, :p) I wanted you to have something good to wake up to after last night. It was… Fun, I’ll admit. I’m happy we’re together, and I’m ecstatic that you said yes. Have a good morning. Love you, bunny. -Makoto _

__ _ morning haru! we made you a little somethin since we couldn’t sleep, lol. i hope you like red velvet cake! if makoto wakes up anytime soon, make her take a shower or smthin before you let her in bed. we got into a p intense flour fight, (sorry to ur cleaners!!!) im getting sleepy, so im gonna take off. have a nice morning, haru!!! (also wtffffff bunny is such a cute petname, akira and yusuke just call me nerd) -ryuji _

Haru giggled at the messages and pulled the note close to her heart, before putting it in her pocket. She put the cake in a refrigerator and gently shook Makoto’s shoulder.

“Oh, dear… Bug… It’s time to wake up!” Makoto groaned and looked around.

“What time is it?” Haru giggled and helped Makoto to her feet.

“Too early for cake, sweet. Let’s get you to bed. You have to shower first, though.” Makoto giggled and went with Haru up the stairs.

-

Jared Leto: Fucking whyyyyyyyyyyy

Jared Leto: Ann why didnt you stop me

finnish line: i was drunk too, everything huuurrrrttttssss

Jared Leto: Hangovers my man

small palace energy: even makoto was tipsy last night

Jared Leto: How tipsy we talkin

small palace energy: i remember her saying “little itsy-bitsy bit tipsy”

Jared Leto: Oh my god

Jared Leto: Thank god for the sober

pancaek: even haru was getting her drink on after a while, i think ryuji futaba and i were the only sober ones

hax: after hearing about hangovers i think i’ll REMAIN sober

pancaek: im not sure how, but haru doesn’t get hangovers

Jared Leto: WTF, tell me ur secrets

yuor angle: i,,, drink water???

Jared Leto: WTFFFFF HOW DID I NOT THINK OF THAT

small palace energy: i just dont drink

Jared Leto: I usually don’t drink!!!! I just go hard at parties (probably a bad idea)

finnish line: ^^^^^

shi a ho: i love ann so much but i never want to see hear or deal with drunk ann again

finnish line: :( whyyy???

shi a ho: because then i have to deal with hangover ann

npc: somehow i’m glad i couldn’t make it

small palace energy: i mean u missed akira getting stuck in a tree outside

Jared Leto: Waitwaitwait i did  _ w h a t _

small palace energy: ur dumb ass thought u could reach the moon so you climbed a tree and cried when you couldn’t touch the moon, and then u cried more when you realize you were stuck (you weren’t, you were three feet off the ground)

Jared Leto: Wtf

hax: you take the moon

small palace energy: ann kept flirting with shiho and cried when shiho said she was taken

small palace energy: yusuke disappeared for a while

small palace energy: and i  _ think  _ haru fell on her face while dancing but that’s kind of normal for us

Jared Leto: Yeah, lol, did i at least look great

small palace energy: yeah actually, took forever to get your makeup off

Jared Leto: Im gonna try to sleep this off, see ya

finnish line: i would too but i have class

small palace energy: rip


	15. your friend steve

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Hey sae

jessica rabbit: ?

Jared Leto: Do you still have the footage of my interrogation

jessica rabbit: Yes, I do.

Jared Leto: Great, shoot it my way

jessica rabbit: Okay? Why?

Jared Leto: Because I need it for reasons

**jessica rabbit sent Interrogation_Amamiya.mp4!**

Jared Leto: My real name??? Duuuuude

jessica rabbit: My apologies. There was another Kurusu in the system.

Jared Leto: Fair

Jared Leto: (Reason: i just wanna rewatch it, see how far we’ve come, see what happened since i was high af)

-

“Ugh,  _ fuck _ … ‘M running out of shitty nicknames.”

“You don’t need nicknames.  _ Tell me their names. _ ”

“No. Y’know what, fuck it. Let’s start with Chariot. Skull.”

“UUUUUUGGGGGGHHGGHGHGHHHH.”

-

“And Chariot is actually really hot, but I like Emperor too. And I just broke up with Moon, so… Ugh.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, kid, get on with the story.”

“But this  _ iiiiiissssss  _ the story!”

-

“Before I go, kid, I just want to say this. I never thought you’d be  _ this  _ annoying.”

“Also, ‘m really high… WAIT THE PHONE THE PHONE THE PHONE SHIT COME BACK”

“OH MY GOD, I HAVEN’T EVEN LEFT.”

-

dog vote: What even are all of your majors

pancaek: business (minoring in finance)

small palace energy: im gonna be a physical therapist

ylvis: Fine arts.

Jared Leto: Education major, theater minor

yuor devil: Criminal justice.

yuor angle: business!!

finnish line: theater lol

npc: compsci!! it’s actually p fun

shi a ho: psychology

togoparty: Criminal justice as well.

dog vote: Wait back up

dog vote: Education???? Never thought youd go for that akira

Jared Leto: Well i did!!! Speaking of which, our dorms have free karaoke tonight in the common area, yall should crash

finnish line: YES

ylvis: Only if Akira or Ryuji will sing with me.

small palace energy: yeah imma sit this one out, happy to watch and support tho

ylvis: Understandable.

hax: IM COMING TOO, INARI PROMISED TO SING HOW FAR I’LL GO WITH ME

Jared Leto: Oh i have to see this

-

Futaba pulled out her phone and started recording as Akira and Yusuke walked to the front. Their song came onscreen, and Futaba giggled. Then, the duo began to sing.

_“Candlelight and moonlight all around us_ _  
_ _I look into your eyes_ _  
_ _You hold my hand underneath the table_ _  
_ _And I can't disguise the way I feel_ _  
_ _I could've wished a thousand wishes_ _  
_ _For this night I can't believe_ _  
_ _That it's finally me and you and you and me_ _  
_ _Just us_ [**_and your friend Steve_**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YePtnXUzFgg) __”

-

**hax sent steve.mp4!**

yuor angle: IS THAT

hax: YUP

yuor devil: I CAN’T, OH MY GOD.

togoparty: WHAT EVEN.

finnish line: personally i like futaba’s hysterical cackling in the background

pancaek: doo doo doo doo doo doo STEVE

small palace energy: *aggressively STEVEs*

npc: akira and i before we broke up

yuor angle: DJHDOEJR

hax: JKHHERKRFHKJFHJ

hax: IS RYUJI STEVE

shi a ho: yuuki sent me that song so many times when akira got with ryuji

npc: me: AND YOUR FRIEND STEVE

hax: BUT IS RYUJI STEVE PLS RESPOND

npc: ye

small palace energy: DJKDKHFDKHJD

Jared Leto: Who’s steve now

hax: READ UP IM

Jared Leto: ,,,,

Jared Leto: ,,,,

Jared Leto:  _ Its true but you shouldn’t say it _

npc: callout post @ akira kurusu

Jared Leto: Hey to be fair ryuji thought he was straight and i did like you

npc: AND YOUR FRIEND STEVE

**npc changed small palace energy’s nickname to “steve”!**

steve: im friend steve

shi a ho: hey artman on a scale of 1 to 10 how fine art was that

ylvis: Steve.

shi a ho: YOU HEARD HIM FOLKS IT’S STEVE

hax: im so glad i came here tbh

Jared Leto: Futaba the subways are closed

hax: huh guess i have to stay

yuor angle: futaba no!!!!

Jared Leto: Blease no futaba

hax: why, were u gonna bone ur friend steve

Jared Leto: hhhhhow dare you futaba sakura i aM YOUR LEADER PHANTOM THIEF

Jared Leto: B O N E ?

Jared Leto: WHAT HAPPENS IN MY BEDROOM IS  _ NONE  _ OF YOUR BUSINESS

Jared Leto: BOOOOOOONE????

Jared Leto: Never speak to me like that again

ylvis: Hm… Goro, are we good to take her?

pancaek: yeah but either you or her sleeps on the couch, i dont care which as long as i dont

ylvis: Fair. I have to go, I have class.

hax: night class???

ylvis: Yes, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was not.

hax: lol gnight im taking your bed

ylvis: Dammit.

-

**You have (1) new message from hax!**

hax: inari what happened

ylvis: I don’t know what you mean.

hax: “how to stop having meltdowns” “why do i have meltdowns” “how to ignore sensory overload”

ylvis: You dug up my search history.

hax: i know, im so sorry, i was just worried when you got back and didnt say anything

ylvis: I… Don’t do it again, please.

hax: of course not!!! scouts honor

hax: now what happened

ylvis: I, ah… Had a meltdown in class. Instead of helping, they just kept asking questions.

hax: oh

hax: you gonna be okay?

ylvis: I don’t know. Right now, everything still seems too large, too bright, too  _ loud _ .

hax: ,,, we can watch moana together if you like

hax: subtitles n all

ylvis: Signing instead of talking is definitely the way to go right now.

hax: gotcha!!! come on in

ylvis: Thank you, Futaba.

hax: yknow you gotta tell the others someday

ylvis: I know, I know. Just… Not yet.

hax: but when

ylvis: I don’t know, okay? Right now I just want to watch Moana kick ass.

hax: ,,, ok, we’re talking more about this later tho, ok?

ylvis: Alright.

-

ylvis: Okay, this is hard to say to all of you. I don’t know how you’ll feel, so keep an open mind.

ylvis: .. / .... .- ...- . / .- ... .--. . .-. --. . .-. .----. ... / ... -.-- -. -.. .-. --- -- . .-.-.-

-

Yusuke curled into the blanket as he put his phone down, staring intently as Maui faced off with Tamatoa, and Futaba tapped his head. He looked up, and she signed,

_ “I’m so proud of you.” _ She then returned to watching the movie, and Yusuke felt a small smile spread across his face as he felt tugs from every Phantom Thief.

.. .----. -- / .... .- .--. .--. -.-- / - .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- / - .-. ..- ... - . -.. / ..- ... .-.-.- / .- -. -.

\- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ..-. --- .-. / - . .-.. .-.. .. -. --. / ..- ... .-.-.- / .. .----. -- / ... --- / --. .-.. .- -.. / -.-- --- ..- / - .-. ..- ... - . -.. / ..- ... .-.-.- / -- .- -.- --- - ---

.. .----. -- / ... --- / .--. .-. --- ..- -.. -.-.-- / .. / ... ..- .--. .--. --- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. --- / -- .- - - . .-. / .-- .... .- - .-.-.- / .... .- .-. ..-

-. .. -.-. . / - --- / -.- -. --- .-- .-.-.- / --. --- .-. ---


	16. viper, admin, rook

pancaek: google search how to deal with seeing my father in public i thought he was in jail wtf

Jared Leto: I’m sorry he  _ what _ ????

pancaek: i’m just gonna,,, slowly walk away,,, and escape to the restroom aaaand shit he saw me

Jared Leto: Where r u, i need to kick his ass

pancaek: i’m in that central area by the train station

Jared Leto: Rad  _ @everyone  _ thiefsquad masayoshi shitty spotted, group up

yuor angle: it is unfortunate that murder is illegal!!! :(

yuor devil: Everyone, let’s go save Goro. Then we worry about the legality of our desires.

steve: sounds good

ylvis: I agree. Futaba and I will be there soon.

-

hax: I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT MOTHERFUCKINF ASSHOLE FUCK

finnish line: HOW IS HE STILL SUCH A SHITTY PERSON

yuor devil: What part of “leave him alone” does this man not get?!

Jared Leto: Fuckin tries to ‘apologize’ for getting me on probation and then implies it’s my fault

Jared Leto: Ignores the fact that he basically sent a hitman after me this motherfucker

yuor angle: he tried. to apologize.  _ for my father. _

ylvis: Never in my life have I hated someone more.

pancaek: jerkwad

Jared Leto: I cant believe futaba nearly punched him

finnish line: i can’t believe yusuke stopped her

hax: i can’t believe we have a conclusive request result lol

Jared Leto: Oh? Ok everyone grab ur stuff, we’re heading to mementos. Shiho, come with us.

shi a ho: ? why me

Jared Leto: Bc ur the easiest to handle, also its a surprise

-

Shiho gaped. First of all,  _ fuck  _ Ann was hot. Then again, so was everyone else. Was that leather? Holy shit. Akira sighed and gestured towards the group.

“I’m Joker, these are Skull, Panther, Fox, Queen, Oracle, Noir, and Crow. Welcome to Mementos, we’ll probably find your Shadow in here somewhere. The bus is named Mona, and is also our cat. Hop in.” Shiho stepped into the bus, gripping her cane in fear.  _ What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. _

First target, Suzui Shiho. Akira gently pushed her to the front line as her Shadow manifested, mask on its face. Goro herded the rest back, out of earshot as Shiho spoke.

“Hello…” The shadow circled Shiho, tapping its cane to her own.

_ “Hello. You want to awaken? Then stand. Stand without aid. Or are you worthless without it?”  _ Shiho felt a cold dread creep up on her. She gripped her cane tighter.

“No. I need this. This is proof I tried. This is proof that I got better. So shut up and give me the mask.” The Shadow tossed the mask at Shiho and grinned.

_ “Good.”  _ Shiho put the mask on, and a wave of power rushed out of her. The mask had fangs reaching down, and her outfit was almost reptilian in nature. Akira applauded as Ann ran up to pull Shiho into a hug.

“You did it! You didn’t even have to rip your face off, you lucky bastard!”

-

Jared Leto: And thus we welcome shiho officially to the phantom thieves

finnish line: ooh let’s name her

steve: hmm,,,, gator??? like an alligator??

shi a ho: god no

hax: crocs

shi a ho:  _ no _

Jared Leto: How about viper

shi a ho: i like it!!! i’m viper!!!

Jared Leto: Rad, take a nap and when u wake up we can ask togo and yuuki if they wanna join our phantom squad

-

_ “You want him, so  _ _ take him _ _. Do it. Take him back. He’s  _ **_yours_ ** _.”  _ Yuuki shook his head and slowly stepped up to the Shadow.

“No. He’s not a possession, and he’s happy that way. I can find somebody else if it means that everyone is okay.” The shadow tossed him the mask, and flames burst forth. A bandana around his eyes, a green leather jacket.

_ Admin. _

-

Hifumi was afraid. She made the others wait outside while she faced her Shadow, afraid of what it would say.

_ “You are nothing. You can’t do anything right. Your mother had to rig your matches, because you’re incompetent. So, prove to me you aren’t.”  _ Hifumi looked down in a rage.

“I have nothing to prove to you.” Mask, fire, power.

_ Rook. _

-

steve: why’d we all get dorky names when yuuki gets to be  _ admin??!!?!?! _

Jared Leto: Felt right lol

npc: not as cool as shihos!!!

shi a ho: whaaat, viper’s boring!! rook is coolest.

togoparty: I agree. Rook is by far the coolest.

yuor angle: !!!! so we have,,,,, 12 members now?

Jared Leto: Holy shit

Jared Leto: I have so many kids

Mama_Sakamoto: you think that  _ you  _ have a lot of kids???

Jared Leto: I concede to the true childmaster

hax: if this is what having kids is i want 20

Jared Leto: Being gay, doing crime

hax: US RIGHT THERE

jessica rabbit: Being a Phantom Thief does seem to have perks.

Jared Leto: Sucks that u cant join up :( you’d be a good teammate.

yuor devil: She can’t join?

Jared Leto: No, she can’t

yuor devil: Why?

Jared Leto: We never stole her treasure, but we sent a calling card

Jared Leto: Her palace kinda,,, dissolved without us stealing or healing her heart, so shes like in palace limbo

Jared Leto: She isn’t corrupted, but her treasure isn’t gone either

yuor devil: Oh… Sorry, Sis.

jessica rabbit: It’s okay, Makoto. You couldn’t have known. And Goro, don’t blame yourself for this. I know what you’re about to say.

yuor angle: “this is all my fault… i’m so, so sorry. if i hadn’t let shido exploit me, this never would have happened.”

pancaek: this is all my WAIT

pancaek: >:( for the love of god let me apologize

jessica rabbit: No, because I never wanted to be one anyways. I love my job, and maybe in another universe, I would. However, I simply don’t have the time.

Jared Leto: And i respect that fam, dw

jessica rabbit: Glad to hear it.


	17. cry club

Jared Leto: Just dropped off cheez-it’s to the cry club, saying this so moomoo knows im feeding them

finnish line: ?

ylvis: ????

Jared Leto: The daddy issues club

finnish line: ?????

ylvis: Ohhhh. Nice.

Jared Leto: Every wednesday makoto, sae, ryuji, goro, and haru get together to rant and cry about their dads

finnish line: omg pics

**Jared Leto sent cry.jpg!**

finnish line: djKHDFFHKJ

finnish line: THEY MEET UP IN YOUR DORM

Jared Leto: Nowhere else works and im cool with it

Jared Leto: I just slide in a plate full of cheez-its once in a while and maybe a few boxes of pocky if i just got back from the store

shi a ho: dkjdkjdjlkd nice

togoparty: I don’t have any issues with my dad, but can I join due to my mother?

hax: me too!!!

Jared Leto: Ryuji took a break from crying to say yeah

hax: rad omw

togoparty: Nice.

**Jared Leto sent cry2.jpg!**

finnish line: look at them

finnish line: crying

steve: emotional vulnerability is a good thing,  _ ann _

-

**hax created “wedding lady talk”!**

**hax added 6 people to “wedding lady talk”!**

hax: my giiirrrrrllllllssssss ;3

finnish line: omg yes

yuor angle: no boys no boys!!! aaaaaaaa i can finally discuss the wedding!!!

togoparty: Woot!

shi a ho: oh thank god my costume is so uncomfortable wtf

finnish line: babe. you really want to say that to me

finnish line: zippers  _ suck _

shi a ho: ouch, totally forgot

hax: lol i get to sit in a ufo

yuor devil: And then you scream every time you hit something.

hax: s h u t !!!!!

yuor angle: okay ladies, time to settle a debate!! should the correct choice, makoto, wear the wedding dress, or should i???

yuor devil: *The obvious correct choice, Haru.

hax: makoto

Mama_Sakamoto: oh, i can’t decide! you both would look so cute!!!!

togoparty: The ceremony is in a week, and you still haven’t decided? You’re going to give your poor tailor a heart attack!

yuor angle: we both  _ have  _ a wedding dress and a suit!!! we just don’t know who should wear what!!!

finnish line: makoto wears it for the ceremony, haru wears it for the reception. done.

shi a ho: ^^^^^

jessica rabbit: Agreed.

togoparty: Both of you wear a dress and change into a tux for the reception. Simple.

jessica rabbit: Double agreed.

yuor angle: also, should we have an axe throwing competition??

hax: are you going to have alcohol

yuor devil: Yes.

hax: then no for fucks sake somebody’ll lose an arm and it’ll probably be akira

hax: he has two hands to hold he needs those

yuor angle: …. good point

jessica rabbit: Why do we even need a second chat without the guys?

yuor devil: Because they’d infiltrate our planning and swap our bouquet for a bong or something.

hax: speaking of which check your flower order again, akira and ryuji were giggling earlier

yuor angle: SKUNK CABBAGE??????

yuor devil: WTF.

jessica rabbit: … I saw Yusuke talking with Akira earlier, check the catering order.

yuor devil: … I am going to  _ kill them.  _ How the fuck did they even change all the food to tuna eyeballs?

yuor angle: W H Y

yuor angle: HOW IS THIS ALL VODKA

togoparty: Jesus.

togoparty: Mishima and Akira were talking earlier, so check clothing.

yuor angle: … 

yuor devil: I didn’t even know that wedding crocs existed.

jessica rabbit: What the actual fuck.

yuor angle: akira is a ringleader, whether we like it or not

yuor devil: ^ What she said.

yuor angle: gotta reprepare the wedding~ we’ll be busy so we’ll see u then!!!


	18. wedding hours (finally)

Jared Leto: Wedding hours owo

jessica rabbit: ANN. TAKAMAKI. GET BACK HERE.

finnish line: im sorry im sorry im sorry i forgot my shoes!!!!

togoparty: ???? WTF.

yuor angle: i love you guys aaaaaa!!!!!!!!! wedding day wedding day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yuor devil: I love you most. ♡

hax: 10 says haru cries the moment she sees makoto

yuor angle: 20 says that makoto cries as soon as she sees me!!!

hax: MAKOTO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE

yuor devil: Goodbye.

yuor angle: bye!!!!

npc: music?

hax: done!

npc: lights?

togoparty: Done.

npc: decor?

ylvis: Done.

npc: rad lets go

-

Haru was standing at the altar, nervously waiting for Makoto. Her dress was simple, no train, just a long white dress with off-shoulder sleeves. For Haru, it was plain, simple, small. Radiant. Just like the wedding. Only closest friends, nothing more. Of course, that didn’t mean they couldn’t make an event out of it. Makoto proved that.

Walking down the aisle, on Sojiro’s arm, she wore the most extravagant wedding gown any of them had seen in person. A simple bodice, but the skirts were enormous. She was beautiful. The moment Makoto locked eyes with Haru, though, she broke down. She was grinning and sobbing all at the same time. Haru burst out laughing as Makoto made her way down the aisle, struggling to see through her tears. Makoto glared when she reached Haru, still wiping away tears and slowly becoming a raccoon.

“You jerk! Why are you so pretty, it’s  _ mean _ .” Haru laughed even harder as Makoto gripped her arm for support.

“I-I’m sorry, I just… I was joking! You didn’t have to  _ actually  _ cry!” Makoto giggled as she steadied herself, the rest of the guests trying not to burst into hysterics.

“But this is  _ real  _ because you’re so gorgeous, and I- Let’s just say our vows before I get scared!” The guests lost the battle.

-

hax: hur dur im makoto *starts sobbing as soon as i see my fiance*

yuor devil: Hey!

yuor angle: *wife

hax: my mistake, wife

Jared Leto: FUCK YEAH LETS GO FUCKIN MENTAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL

steve: who’s gonna tell him that there’s no alcohol 

ylvis: Not me.

npc: he’ll still go buckwild

yuor angle: i hope so, i didn’t spike the punch for nothing!!!!!!

Mama_Sakamoto: haru,,,,

Mama_Sakamoto: i love this so much but nonalcoholic options pls

yuor angle: shhh dont tell anyone but the sprite and water in the backroom are good

dog vote: Nice

yuor devil: Boss, thank you for walking me down the aisle. I couldn’t think of a better father figure to walk me there.

dog vote: Well, i’m not going to be walking  **_futaba_ ** down the aisle anytime soon

hax: SOJIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

dog vote: :3c

hax: hey u arent supposed to use that emoji against me!!!!!

dog vote:  _ :3c _

hax: i hate u

yuor angle: makooooooooo, our song is going to come on!!!!

yuor devil: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

steve: ….

finnish line: breaking free from hsm, nice

finnish line: shoot best woman speech gtg

pancaek: shit thanks for the reminder gtg

-

“Now, I’ve known Makoto for a long time. We’ve been friends for about two years now, and I’ve learned a lot about her. For instance, she likes brass knuckles and secretly loves the Phoenix Ranger Featherman R series. She plays Dungeons & Dragons, and I’ve seen her do crime. Well, collaborated, but it was a lot of crime. Excessive amounts of crime. Like, we could get put in jail forever for the sheer amount of crime. Her personality is basically ‘talk shit get hit’. Anyways, I know her pretty damn well, and I know most that she loves Haru, and that  _ this _ was a long time coming. Thank you.”

“Now, Haru and I have had our ups and downs. I betrayed her, she saved my life, you know that story, blah blah blah, I got shot by me, and the next time I clearly saw a human face it was her at my bedside, reading to me. However, I’m glad to accept her as my sister. She’s the nicest sister I could have. Her and her weird morning routines, her plants, her huge house, they took me in. She could have left me out to die, and for that… I can never repay her. She’s the sister I never knew I wanted, and I’m glad to let Makoto into our family. It’s little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”

-

Jared Leto: I would like to call attention to the fact that goro quoted lilo and stitch in his speech

pancaek: gun

Jared Leto: JFDLKJKFDKJ I REMEMBER THAT

finnish line: fuckin,,,, explodey-phone,,,,,

ylvis: Futaba?

hax: okay, it’s okay. mind if i duck out for a moment?

yuor angle: there’s a quiet room down the hall on the left.

hax: thank you!!!

yuor devil: Feel free to rejoin the festivities whenever you feel ready.

ylvis: Alright.

hax: of course!

Jared Leto: Love u babe

steve: ^^^^

Jared Leto: Thats how u know a best friend

Jared Leto: One written word

steve: n she knew what was wrong

yuor devil: Well, yeah. They started hanging out more when Akira went to jail.

yuor angle: yeah, and then when he left they became besties

Jared Leto: Attached at the hip huh

steve: lol yeah

finnish line: “hey wanna go shopping” “sure, mind if i bring yusuke along” “the fact that i invited you at all means that he’s allowed to come too” “rad”

togoparty: To be fair, they are the tallest and shortest Phantom Thieves if you don’t count our… Cat?

Jared Leto: Dont tell him u called him a cat lol

togoparty: Thanks for the tip. Anyways, they kind of do everything together, don’t they? Yusuke makes it a lot easier for Futaba to reach the top shelf.

finnish line: plus yusuke has enough fashion sense for both of them

yuor angle: everyone!!!!!!! bouquet toss!!!!

-

togoparty: …

npc: …

shi a ho: ...

finnish line: ok im gonna say it

finnish line: who the  _ fuck _ is futaba going to marry

hax: i dont know, the goddamn yellow power ranger i guess???? 

Jared Leto: Well if any of us ever want to get married, u need to get married right now

hax: hang on i got it

hax: YUSUKE WILL YOU MARRY ME

ylvis: No.

hax: ok that was a weird way to say it i mean ~friend-married~ that still counts

ylvis:  _ No. _

hax: it’s that or mishima my man, ur my only hope

npc: absolutely not

hax: SEE???? pls friend marry me

ylvis: Hell no.

hax: i’ll buy u new paint brushes

ylvis: … Not real married?

hax: nononono!!!! ew god no!!!!!! bleeeeeh!!!!!!!

ylvis: FINE.

hax: yessssssssss

hax: HARU CAN I BORROW YOUR WEDDING RINGS AND/OR STEAL SOME RING POPS FROM YOUR PURSE, RYUJI IS OFFICIATING

yuor angle: my purse is in my dressing room, i have all the flavors!!

steve: why me???? wtf

hax: my brother is trashed otherwise itd be him SOJIRO AISLE NOW

dog vote: ????? Okay

-

“I, Kitagawa Yusuke, take thee, Sakura Futaba, to be my wedded best friend, to have and to keep one foot away from me at all times, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for poorer or for even poorer, in sickness and in mental illness, to tolerate and to play D&D with, till death do us part, according to my need for paint brushes.”

“I, Sakura Futaba, take thee, Kitagawa Yusuke, to be my wedded best friend, to have and to keep one foot away from me at all times, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for poorer or for even poorer, in sickness and in mental illness, to tolerate and to play D&D with, till death do us part, according to my need to get married so the others can too.”

“I guess I pronounce you best friends for life? Go ahead ‘n awkwardly shuffle away.”

-

hax: HAH

hax: SOJIRO DID GET TO WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE

hax: SUCK. IT.

dog vote: Fair

Jared Leto: Anyone thinmk about ohw shihyo's lweapon is a vbow?

dog vote: ? What the hell

steve: “anyone think about how shihos weapon is a bow”

Jared Leto: Shem's ilke uan self

Jared Leto: Bdut a ksnake!!!! ya snelf

steve: “she’s like an elf but a snake!!!! a snelf!!!!”

Mama_Sakamoto: what even,,,

yuor devil: How trashed is he? More importantly, what did Haru spike the punch with?

yuor angle: vodquila!!!!

yuor devil: Haru, babe, my lovely wife,  _ what the fuck _ .

yuor angle: oops!!!!!!! ^^;

steve: yeah, i’m taking him home

Jared Leto: BOZYFRIEND! IM IN LEVO WTITH YYOUR EAHRRT AND YOUR SMELI NAD EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

steve: i am NOT translating that

hax: i love my incoherent brother

ylvis: Love him.

Jared Leto: OTNHER BOYFRIEND!!!! IPM RLOVE YOU RSO MUCH

steve: say goodnight akira

Jared Leto: GOGDIONHT!!!!!!!!!!!


	19. ghostbastards

Jared Leto: What happened

steve: oh you got hella drunk

Jared Leto: How much is hella

steve: incomprehensible screeching

Jared Leto:  _ Oh _

finnish line: omg can i say it now

finnish line: makoto’s dress was so floofy i love it aaa!!!

yuor devil: Same! It was heavy, but I loved it. So fluffy! Plus, it was Haru’s idea.

finnish line: speaking of which how are you and haru ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jared Leto: That is a cursed emoticon

yuor angle: we’re wonderful, thank you for asking!

finnish line: last night went well i take it

yuor devil: It did! Last night was so wonderful…

yuor angle: MAKO NO

finnish line: oHO ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

yuor angle: SHE MEANS THE  W E D D I N G

npc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

shi a ho:  _ @everyone  _ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jared Leto: Hot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

finnish line: OWO ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

hax: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ylvis: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

steve: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

jessica rabbit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mama_Sakamoto: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

dog vote: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

togoparty: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

yuor angle: i hate all of you

yuor devil: Babe… Come back, the sun is rising…

yuor angle: ooh, pretty! be right there!

hax: gonna send an old chatlog uwu

-

**Joaquin Phoenix added Akechi Goro to “ghostbastards”!** **  
** Joaquin Phoenix: Everyone be nice

irate pirate: uh ok but what if i

irate pirate:  _ don’t _

(pig)Tails: ryuji be nice please

mutherr: I agree. This is our new teammate.

axe deodorant: ^

alolan vulpix: They are right…

64thBase: inari i trusted you

Akechi Goro: I think I can tell you all apart?

Joaquin Phoenix: Ok good one sec

**Joaquin Phoenix changed Akechi Goro’s nickname to “bootleg l”!**

bootleg l: What?

Joaquin Phoenix: Welcome to the squad babe

bootleg l:  _ What?! _

Joaquin Phoenix: Whaaat? I call everyone who’s special to me babe

bootleg l: I… What… I…

Joaquin Phoenix: Awwww, so adorable, didn’t realize hot mullet man could be so cute~

bootleg l: ,

(pig)Tails: im starting to feel bad for him

(pig)Tails: akechi, he is absolutely hitting on you. take it with a grain of salt, he does this to every new member that’s a dude, he’s just a thirsty gay

bootleg l: OH. Okay, that does make more sense now.

irate pirate: it’s ok, i think everyone had a crush on akira at some point (-makoto n i)

(pig)Tails: truuuuuuuuu 

alolan vulpix: Ugh, don’t remind me.

64thBase: ech, i remember that

axe deodorant: i wish i didnt,,,

bootleg l: NONONONO!!!!! It’s not that! Definitely not that at all, ahahah!

64thBase: yeah its that

alolan vulpix: Sounds about right.

bootleg l: Uuuugghhhhhh...

Joaquin Phoenix: Its ok, im incredibly charming

64thBase: anyways, whats your tragic backstory?

bootleg l: ?

64thBase: yknow, why you do this. my mom was killed by a mental shutdown and i want answers!!!!

(pig)Tails: sexual harassment!

mutherr: Mafia.

alolan vulpix: Plagiarism!

axe deodorant: arranged marriage and worker abuse!!!

irate pirate: abuse from a teacher for me!

Joaquin Phoenix: Wrongfully accused of a crime

bootleg l: What the  _ fuck  _ is wrong with all of you?

irate pirate: trauma, anyways whats your story?

bootleg l: … Maybe another day. For now, let’s just say… My reason is injustice.

alolan vulpix: Welcome to the club.

mutherr: Ayyyyyy.

bootleg l: Wait, I think I know Kitagawa! You go to Kosei, yes?

alolan vulpix: Yes, I do. Do you?

bootleg l: I do! It’s quite strange that we never see each other.

alolan vulpix: Indeed. Perhaps that is due to the fact that you’re an upperclassman, plus, your detective work takes up much of your time, does it not?

bootleg l: Maybe so.

-

**You have (1) new message from alolan vulpix!**

alolan vulpix: I actively avoid him at school, don’t tell him that.

64thBase: dJHKDLFJDLKHHLJHLHSD YUSUKE KITAGAWA YOURE MY NEW FAVORITE

-

hax: inari when his lobsters escape

**hax sent** [ **fish.jpg** ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQm66-2C3M18km8w6wqWv_4iAq8TwWTgQZkbIb0LuQ2_bsGg4ok) **!**

pancaek: DHLDHDHLHD

hax: i have more

**hax sent** [ **inari.jpg** ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvy_vE-F77cBgt7wgp2eM93SFUfgaVmcSQtBRjHy6gWIvOG8pP) **!**

pancaek: W H E E Z E

hax: oh wait one more

**hax sent** [ **yaboi.jpg** ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYjt-2vNeit4lufDhtGC7XbUAOycbJEaOoKcmppUq7WcCSyQNI) **!**

ylvis: Hey, Futaba?

hax: yea

**ylvis sent** [ **hackerman.jpg** ](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/no-face-hacker-binary-code-30080834.jpg) **!**

ylvis: Is this you?

hax: yes

Jared Leto: Wait hang on i found a great one for goro

**Jared Leto sent** [ **pancakeman.jpg** ](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/young-detective-isolated-white-36800173.jpg) **!**

**pancaek sent** [ **rebelboi.jpg** ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRO7lwpXFes_DA9YGO6YDRwkqYcl2R9iRSxohw68Rtwt5oYbePj) **!**

pancaek: is that you???

hax: GUYS I FOUND ONE FOR RYUJI

**hax sent** [ **angery.jpg** ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYHeuegbYHexnBKWY-I9eexYeuNVpLz5wXpfObue_1NGzpMSWnRw) **!**

Jared Leto: KJDEDJLHFHLLJDHFKH ITS HIM

steve: its me, ya boi

yuor devil: Oh, do you have one for me?

**hax sent** [ **makoto.jpg** ](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/stressed-student-24485690.jpg) **!**

yuor devil: Pffft!

Jared Leto: I found haru

**Jared Leto sent** [ **rich.jpg** ](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/i-rich-happy-mature-businesswoman-holding-money-her-hands-smiling-standing-isolated-white-39570374.jpg) **!**

yuor devil: NICE.

steve: im making those ur contact photos

ylvis: Nice. I request gunfish.

steve: nahhhh, lobster makeout

Jared Leto: What were ours before

steve: yusuke was bob ross and u were mario

Jared Leto: Why mario

steve: mama mia

Jared Leto: Fuck u

steve: maybe later

ylvis: ANYWAYS,

yuor angle: hey uhhhhhhhh what happened last night ryuji???? like after the reception

steve: why???

yuor angle: i suddenly have a  _ lot  _ of new things that i don’t remember buying and i know that you were sober

steve: o yea so after akira went to bed i came back and everyone (-my mom and boss, they went home) was trashed, even futaba

hax: NOBODY TOLD ME OR GORO ABOUT THE PUNCH MAN

steve:  _ ANYWAYS,  _ yall decided to go down to shinjuku and we went to crossroads where lala attempted(?) to sober you up and took us to a clothing store because yusuke puked on his shirt

ylvis: Oops.

steve: well drunk haru got super excited and ran to the back of the store where the weird clothes lay

yuor angle: O H

steve: i had to help you into fishnets and it was not fun

steve: futaba disappeared and i think she got a nose piercing

hax: shit i think i did,,,, yeah theres a stud there

steve: makoto got a stick and poke tattoo from yusuke

yuor devil: Can confirm.

steve: sae stole a tutu

jessica rabbit: I… W h a t.

steve: mishima fell asleep at crossroads so i kinda just trusted ohya to watch him which in hindsight was a mistake

npc: that explains a lot,,,,

steve: ann and shiho,,,, just kind of went missing??? where are they

finnish line: broom closet

shi a ho: in various stages of clothes

steve: gross, anyways

steve: i kind of shepherded you all (minus ann and shiho) home once it was 3

npc: then what about hifumi???

steve: uh, idk?

togoparty: I’m in the church’s confession booth.

steve: h _ ow the hell _

togoparty: I have no idea. We were nowhere near the church.

Jared Leto: I think its trying to tell u to repent

togoparty: But I don’t wanna.

hax: everyone i hope u can cure your hangovers, mementos request coming in hot

Jared Leto: Shit


	20. strike

“Nice one, Rook!” Rook nodded at Mona as Viper nocked an arrow. Panther signaled her and the arrow went flying at the Shadow as Admin cast Marakukaja. Joker grimaced as the Shadow landed a nasty hit.

“Switch tactics, full defense! Except you, Admin. Tell me your SP!” Admin flinched as he dodged an attack from the Shadow, yelling,

“Low, Joker! Going to need to switch to items soon.” Joker shook his head and spoke to Mona.

“Give him the curry, I’ll cover!” Before he even finished the sentence, Rook let loose a massive Makouga and finished off the Shadow, holding her side.

“How… The fuck… Did you do this for a year?”

-

Jared Leto: Everyone okay

togoparty: Barely…

shi a ho: fucking  _ ow _

npc: ^^ how are yall alive

hax: you get used to it

steve: morgana is a healer

yuor angle: akira’s many many many many many many many personas

yuor devil: Futaba has ultrabuffs.

ylvis: Raw will.

finnish line: i dont even fuckin know tbh

pancaek: probably the fact that akira is always willing to splurge like hell on our weapons

finnish line: LOL HE WAS SO BITTER ABOUT THAT

togoparty: ?

pancaek: go ahead

finnish line: SO long story short in this weird like basement-y area of shido’s palace we found goro and battled him, u know how it is, but akira got pissed and kept demanding goro pay him back for his goddamn 50000 yen weapons, you dickhead

finnish line: then he kept taunting him, yelling stuff like “use your goddamn LIGHTSABER to kill me why dont you”

pancaek: LOL THAT WAS HILARIOUS

Jared Leto: You still owe me so much goddamn money

pancaek: ok hear me out, debt cleared bc we’re back on the job

Jared Leto: UGH FINE

Jared Leto: Anyways i think we should set up some strike squadrons

Jared Leto: We have a lot of people so it only makes sense to have 2 or 3 teams

Jared Leto: Either 2 teams of 6 or 3 teams of 4

Jared Leto: Thoughts??? owo

yuor devil: I like it!

yuor angle: it would be more efficient…

finnish line: that may actually be a really good idea

hax: each team would need a navi, so 3 teams of four

steve: sounds good bro

togoparty: That may be good! We could tackle multiple Palaces at once.

shi a ho: togo’s right!!!!

npc: i’m with ann

ylvis: This does sound like a wonderful plan. Who will lead these teams?

Jared Leto: Hmmm,,,,

Jared Leto: I lead one, makoto leads one, goro leads one. Sound good???

pancaek: i’m down

yuor devil: I won’t let you all down!

Jared Leto: Mona is the navi for goro’s team, admin is the navi for makoto’s team, and oracle is with me

hax: i’ll let mona know!

npc: oh! that’s... futaba pls teach me your ways

hax: can do!!!

Jared Leto: Ok so that leaves ryuji, yusuke, ann, shiho, togo, and haru. each team takes one newbie, not counting makoto since her navi is a newbie.

pancaek: … shiho, ann, want to work with me?

finnish line: sounds good!!

shi a ho: yup!

Jared Leto: Ok everyone, choose carefully, bc itll be hard to rearrange strike squads

ylvis: I’m with Akira.

yuor angle: mako-chan!!!

togoparty: Akira.

steve: makoto

Jared Leto: Everyone check to make sure, my team is me, futaba, togo, and yusuke

pancaek: mine is ann, shiho, me, and morgana

yuor devil: Mine is me, Yuuki, Haru, and Ryuji.

Jared Leto: Sounds good fam!!!!! We now have phantom thief strike squads for multiple palaces at once!!!! Yell heah

-

Jared Leto: LOL I THINK TOGO’S DEAD

togoparty: How did you all do this? Every inch of my body hurts…

Jared Leto: Remind me to get you a gym membership

shi a ho: tbh using a bow is fun but my cane is even more fun

finnish line: o yeah!!!! ur cane is hella tricked out for ur melee weapon

shi a ho: ok 1 question why leather and heels

steve: we live in suffering

yuor devil: A price to pay for the good looks we serve daily.

shi a ho: of course the hot one would say that

finnish line: i was gonna argue that but yeah

hax: makoto is def the hot one

ylvis: Agreed.

steve:^^^

Jared Leto: Betrayal

npc: rip


	21. disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright we gettin back to the ANGST fam  
> tw: implied gore, implied disturbing images (no pictures but yikers)  
> to avoid, skip from “Makoto grimaced as something” to “She peered around the corner” stay safe!!!!

hax: soooooo i feel like i need a new chatname

Jared Leto: πthon

hax: YES

ylvis: NO.

steve: thats a crime against punkind akira

**hax changed hax’s nickname to “πthon”!**

πthon: HEWWO

Jared Leto: HEWWO MISTEW OBAMA IS THAT YOU

πthon: PWEASE HEWP ME IM DWOWNING

Jared Leto: ILL DO ANYTHING   
yuor devil: Anything?

πthon: ANYTHING FOW YOU MISTEW OBAMA :3

yuor devil:  _ Then perish. _

Jared Leto: D:

yuor devil: WAIT.

yuor devil: Futaba Sakura!

πthon: oooooohhhh shit

πthon: mom i swear i have a  _ very very very  _ good reason

yuor devil: To be on your  _ phone _ in  _ class _ ?

πthon: im documenting an idiot washing a desk with hand soap

yuor devil: What.

πthon: yeah hes doing his best(?)

pancaek: browsing through my old phone and found my thief-era diary wanna read

πthon: i already have but yea sure

pancaek: “Kurusu seems upset lately. He must have broken up with the blue one… Mishima, was it? Oh, well. One step closer to him.”

Jared Leto: Hey Goro What The Fuck?

pancaek: damn i was messed up, get a load of this: “Kurusu seems to have eyes for another. I try not to mind, but... Takamaki said that every group member liked him once, but I don’t understand why.”

Jared Leto:  _ Hey Goro What The Fuck? _

pancaek: yikers, deleting all of this, i was fucked up as hell

Jared Leto: Good idea, that was a big yikes

pancaek: i was crushing hard man

steve: ayyyy

ylvis: Ayyyyy.

npc: ayyyyy

shi a ho: sometimes i feel like hes a cryptid

shi a ho: he makes people fall in love with him and then leaves mysteriously

steve: akira kurusu is real i kissed him behind the beef bowl shop at 3 am

ylvis: Akira Kurusu is r-  _ HEY. _

πthon: takemi is the real cryptid tbh she reminds me of mothman or something

Jared Leto: Tae Takemi is real she sold me weed behind 7/11

yuor devil: You all are weird.

steve: ur one to talk birdfucker

yuor devil: NO.

Jared Leto: BIRDFUCKER OWO????????????

πthon: OMG I FORGOT ABT THAT

πthon: SO MAKOTO WAS PLAYING D&D WITH US N WE MET AN AARAKOCRA WHO FOUGHT US

πthon: AND SHE ROLLED A  _ NAT 20 TO SEDUCE THE DAMN BIRD _

πthon: SO NOW SHE HAS A FUCKING BIRD SIDE CHICK (haha)

yuor angle: i completely approve of her and dzu!!!

ylvis: I was so, so tired… Why are you like this?

yuor devil: I WAS CONFUSED OKAY?

ylvis: Okay, Birdfucker.

yuor devil: UGH. GODDAMMIT, CAN I MAKE A JOKE FOR ONCE?   
πthon: woah woah woah makoto, breathe. you’re getting really worked up, do you know why?

yuor devil: Golly  _ fucking  _ gee, maybe it’s that I finally got the chance to take a damn break from all this Phantom Thief bullshit and then I get appointed a leader of a squad!

πthon: easy makoto, easy.

yuor angle: mako, i’m coming over!!

yuor devil: NO. Leave me alone.

yuor angle: no. you’re my wife and something is wrong! i’m going to call you, okay?

-

The phone rang, and Makoto thanked every technology creator she knew for voice controls.

“Accept.” Makoto heard Haru, panting as she yelled into the phone.

“Mako-chan! What’s wrong, I need to know!” Makoto grimaced as  _ something  _ splattered across the floor, but she paid more attention to the thing poking out of her head.

“Don’t… Come over. Something isn’t right with me, and…  _ Fuck! _ ” Nails sharpened to claws.

“Makoto!”

“It’s okay, baby, I’m okay. I just need you to  _ stay back _ when you get here, and promise you won’t scream.”

“O… Okay. I’m coming in.” Makoto scampered away from the door, tossing a towel over the spot on the floor.

-

Haru Okumura walked into the room and gagged as she saw a hastily applied towel, revealing a pool of red. She peered around the corner only to stifle a scream as she saw Makoto Niijima, half fused with the persona known as Anat.


	22. emergency

yuor angle: uhhh emergency!!!! i know why mako freaked earlier, and it’s not pretty ;;

Jared Leto: Should i call tae

yuor angle: no no no, but if you want to come over bring gas masks and a bucket, i think  _ it  _ may be contagious

Jared Leto:  _ It????? _

yuor angle: uhhh tw blood and gore and general nastiness!!!!

Jared Leto:  **_What????????_ **

**your angle sent hhhhhh.jpg!**

Jared Leto: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT  _ @everyone _

yuor angle: mako,,, i think anyways

Jared Leto: I think i’m gonna be sick ughhh

finnish line: WHAT THE FUCK

ylvis: OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK?!

πthon: hgfggvggyyggyyg im gonna be sick

jessica rabbit: OH MY GOD IS THAT MAKOTO IM COMING OVER WHAT THE FUCK

togoparty: HGH, IM GONNA BE SICK

npc: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

shi a ho: ann just puked what happened oH MY GOD

yuor angle: uhhh gays???? my hand is like,,, turning all flowery?

ylvis: WHAT

Jared Leto: SHIT SHIT SHIT

finnish line: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO????

steve: EVERYONE. calm the fuck down. we should minimize the spread of whatever the eff this is, so do any of you recognize this? look  _ analytically,  _ not emotionally

Jared Leto: It… It looks like she’s merged with her persona, anat

steve: what can we gather from that???

Jared Leto: I don’t know

steve: ugh  _ @pancaek  _ backread

pancaek: it means that we should send a non persona user to look and that haru should get the hell out of there  _ now _ , preferably in a mask

yuor angle: okay.  _ @dog vote  _ i just sent you our location, go there in gloves and a mask (bring me spares pls) immediately.

dog vote: ? Okay

steve: thieves, i know this is a hard idea, but we can’t go anywhere near makoto until we know what’s going on. and haru, i’m sorry, but you need to be quarantined until further notice.

yuor angle: okay, i’ll do what i can…

steve: now everyone,  _ breathe _ . what is our plan from here in simplest form?

ylvis: Find out what happened to Makoto.

πthon: fix what happened to makoto

togoparty: Make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Jared Leto: Ryuji, you handled that so much better than i did wtf

steve: well somebody had to stay coolheaded, and it sure as hell wasn’t you, now,  _ @pancaek @πthon _ we need you two and morgana on the case as soon as possible. futaba, see if you can dig up some of your mom’s research.

πthon: on it!

pancake: i’ll meet you at your house?

πthon: sounds good, morgana says ok

steve: i want you two wearing masks around each other. that goes for EVERY phantom thief, and especially around boss. this is gonna be tough, but none of us can go to the metaverse until we know what happened,  _ akira _

Jared Leto: How did you know????

steve: i’m in the same damn room as you

Jared Leto: YOU’RE ACROSS THE LECTURE HALL

steve: babe you were about to expose us

Jared Leto: ,,, Fair

dog vote: She seems normal, minus the horns and claws. she started rambling in the middle of her sentences and cutting herself off, but she seemed calm about it so i let it be

steve: good. is she safe to be near?

dog vote: I think so, and haru didn’t seem to be in as much pain as makoto was

steve: awesome, that’s good!!! pancake boy, status

pancaek: morgana thinks it’s a human virus (it isn’t he doesn’t know jack shit about humans) but futaba and i think that it may have something to do with our powers

πthon: makoto was  _ really  _ eager to get her powers back, yeah?? so now she’s holding onto them, maybe way too tight

pancaek: which may have caused her to fuse with anat and release some sort of pathogen towards persona users, one that causes us to fuse. think about how haru didn’t start to turn until she went near makoto

yuor angle: i’m in the medical bay’s quarantine right now

steve: good, stay there until we can fix this. sojiro, status update

dog vote: She’s doing well and even moved towards her bedroom

steve: awesome!! okay, can you help her there and put her in bed? when you leave, there’s a key under the potted plant. take it

yuor devil: lock door

steve: makoto??

yuor angle: mako!!!

yuor devil: boss lock door, not safe

steve: are you sure makoto?

yuor devil: yes

steve: ok. boss, you heard the lady. lock the door when you leave

dog vote: Got it

yuor devil: haru call

yuor angle: okay mako!!! ♡

yuor devil: ♡

-

The phone buzzed as a slender, clawed hand grabbed it. She pressed accept and gasped as she saw her wife, covered in a flowery pattern. Haru held up a hand as Makoto was about to speak, and said,

“Mako, this isn’t your fault. I should have been more careful. I’m okay, I don’t feel any pain. Nothing new is sprouting. I think I’m okay.” Makoto sighed in relief and spoke in an exhausted, scratchy voice.

“Haru… I’m sorry, something’s wrong with me, I shouldn’t have called. Boss helped me here. We’ll figure this out together, okay?  **Fuck I’m worthless how can I ever-** No, no, ignore that. I should sleep  **and then maybe I’ll-** Shut  _ up _ , me! Goodnight, Haru, I’ll call again when  **I’m not a lousy piece of-** WHEN  _ THAT  _ STOPS. I love you.” Haru grinned as Makoto yawned.

“Okay. Can I talk to you until you fall asleep?” Makoto nodded and rested her head as Haru spoke about anything and everything that came to her mind before slowly drifting off to sleep.

-

Jared Leto: I need volunteers

steve: ?

Jared Leto: I bought some hazmat suits pretty cheap, we may be able to go into the Metaverse to see what’s wrong

steve: hell no

Jared Leto: Babe, we need somebody to head in and check it out, and the non-users can’t go

steve: ,,, you’re right. who volunteers?

Jared Leto: I do

npc: i do

finnish line: i do!!

pancaek: i do. i’ll get pictures for futaba.

πthon: no need, i’m coming too.

steve: i’m sorry but… i gotta stay. if any of you get sick i need to fix it.

Jared Leto: No worries, those are all the suits i have

Jared Leto: Lets roll out


	23. meeting

Akira stepped into the Metaverse and looked extremely stupid trying to hold a knife properly in a hazmat suit. The rest followed suit, looking absolutely ridiculous as they stepped back into Makoto Niijima’s Palace, where the dungeon had collapsed, but the Shadow stood strong. Or rather, kneeled strong. The Shadow was sobbing at the base of the Palace, seeming to fight an invisible force inside of itself. It gasped for air as it scratched at its face. Ann ran over and pulled the Shadow to its feet roughly.

“What’s wrong with Makoto, you  _ ass _ ?” The Shadow made a strangled whine.

_ “I… Am… Makoto too.”  _ She stood to her full height and tried to push Ann off, but she was too weak. Ann stepped back as Akira walked over.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Ann, let me handle this. Can I call you Koto? Our Makoto is having trouble. We think you might know why.” Koto nodded and brushed herself off.

_ “I don’t know either. Makoto and I are the same being, but… We aren’t quite the same consciousness, if that makes sense. I was her worst parts, but then something happened and her worst parts are on the outside, possibly due to my heist. It’s not your fault, Goro, but you must understand… We could have died. Why do you think their Shadows resisted? You never stole our treasure, sent a calling card… You took the powers and left.”  _ Goro groaned as Koto explained.

“Shit. I really fucked that one up, didn’t I?” Akira nodded somberly as he sat down on the ground, motioning for Koto to sit across from him.

“Listen, Koto. We can fix this, okay? You won’t be hurting anymore soon. I think Makoto is resisting outside, but we may have to bring her in. Are you okay with that?” Koto nodded.

“ _ Whatever you have to do to make us stop hurting. _ ” Akira stood up and offered a hand to Koto, who simply shook her head. Wordlessly, the group walked away from Koto, the kind Shadow.

-

Jared Leto: Ok good news bad news

steve: good news first

Jared Leto: Makoto’s shadow (we call her koto) is actually pretty fuckin chill

finnish line: bad news is that she knows jack shit

πthon: hey at least she didn’t kill u for that whole  _ thing  _ ann

finnish line: listen shadows tend to be dickwads

pancaek: got a lot of awesome notes from that!!!! of course i have to fully sanitize them before i touch them or breathe in their general direction but i feel like this’ll be good!

npc: for real goro fumigate those bad bois

pancaek: im googling how to sanitize paper rn

Jared Leto: Does anybody want to go see tiny haru, see if she knows anything?

togoparty: I’m going in. You all stay back, I’ll take notes.

Jared Leto: Dropping off a hazmat suit now

togoparty: Thank you.

-

Togo took a deep breath and faced a Haru that couldn’t be more than four years old. She sat down to reach the small form and smiled gently. So, Haru felt immature inside. That was fine by Togo. 

“Hi, little one. My name is… My name is Rook, what’s your name?” The little Haru looked up at Togo and smiled, before deliberating.

“ _ O-Oku… Okumu… Okuma… Okumura Haru! Sorry miss… Miss… _ ” Togo shook her head as she tried not to smile. Cutie. Couldn’t pronounce Rs.

“It’s okay, names are hard for me too. In fact, can I call you Oku? You can call me Fumi!” Oku nodded and reached for Togo’s hand before quickly pulling away.

“ _ Fumi… Out there me is hurting. She’s hurting real bad _ .” Togo nodded. Damn smart kids. They can tell everything.

“Yeah, Oku. She’s hurting. I know you don’t know why she’s hurting, but I want you to know… We’re gonna try to help. Akira and Yusuke and all the others, they’re helping too. If you figure anything out, realize something tonight, please try to reach out. Okay? If you can talk to big Haru, send her a message, please do it.” Oku nodded, determination in her eyes.

“ _ Yes, miss Fumi! I’ll do my best! _ ”

-

togoparty: Hey, Oku is absolutely adorable and I love her.

Jared Leto: Oku????

togoparty: The Shadow.

steve: was she like little haru or something

togoparty: Yes, she was! Cutie… She couldn’t make the R noise.

yuor angle: djkdkhdhskjkds i couldnt make those noises until i was seven!!!

npc: remember, oku is a shadow. We don’t know what’s going on.

πthon: hey btw yall remember how i looked for akira in the multiverse

Jared Leto: Yeah and u found me

πthon: fuckin,,,, imagine if i found him in smash or smth

steve: joker in smash 2k19

πthon: anyhoodle its good that we visited oku, may be able to get some info off of that

togoparty: She doesn’t know anything yet, but she’ll signal Haru if she figures something out.

Jared Leto: One sec imma strike that deal w koto

πthon: good idea!!!  _ @yuor angle @yuor devil  _ you may feel strange soon, like something is signaling you. if so, tell us!!! we struck some deals w your shadows

yuor angle: got it!

yuor devil: ok

shi a ho: im glad everyone else is uninfected

finnish line: for once akira being absolutely fuckin annoying about our hygiene works in our favor

Jared Leto: Youre welcome


	24. theory

jessica rabbit: I feel bad… Nobody knows what to do right now, and I just… My  _ sisters  _ are hurting, and there’s nothing I can do.

steve: yeah, i know it’s a lot

πthon: have we tried using dia on them????

Jared Leto: Yep

steve: when did you do that?!

Jared Leto: Last night

steve: akira, that could infect you

Jared Leto: Oh it definitely didnt

Jared Leto: However i locked myself in my room for a reason lol

steve: you WHAT

steve: akira i went in there this morning there’s like a 50/50 i’m infected

ylvis: Are you kidding me? Akira!

Jared Leto: aaaAAAAAA SORRY

togoparty: Akira Kurusu, what the fuck.

npc: akira are you kidding me

πthon: great, now one of our hazmat suits is contaminated

shi a ho: uuuuhhjhjhhhhhghggh

togoparty: And it didn’t cure them?

steve: obviously not

jessica rabbit: Okay. Let’s think about this together.

steve: healing spells don’t work.

pancaek: going in to talk to them reveals nothing

πthon: the disease(?) is extremely contagious, but doesnt affect non-users

ylvis: It causes the victim to “blend” with their Persona, making them the same being.

togoparty: The Shadows become willing to help after the victim is fused.

npc: you have to have a shadow to catch it

jessica rabbit: Good. Brother in-law, do your work.

pancaek: helping the victim outside or inside doesn’t work, based on what we’ve learned. they’re mostly the same, but gain some of their shadow’s less desirable aspects.

Jared Leto: !!!!! I THINK I KNOW WHAT TO DO

togoparty: I’d like to hear it.

shi a ho: yeah!! we need to cure our friends!!

Jared Leto: So in that other timeline i met this girl, and she said that people should help themselves. What if that’s what we have to do here???

shi a ho: that,,, makes sense

yuor angle: so… go inside our own palace?

Jared Leto: That’s my only idea

pancaek: sounds like it may work,,, ryuji?

steve: im def infected, but also yeah that sounds like it may work!!! makoto, you were the first. do you want to test it?

yuor devil: I will.


	25. :)

Makoto Niijima took a deep breath as she stepped into her Palace, holding herself to keep from panicking.

“You must be Koto. I’m  **a worthless piece of-** _ MA _ KOTO. Ignore that. So, I wanted to talk. I know you don’t know what’s happening, and I don’t either. But I think that we can fix this if we work together.” Koto nodded in agreement.

_ “I think so too. I think… Try to summon Anat.” _ Makoto attempted to summon Anat, and a warm feeling rushed through her as her hands glowed green. Immediately, her mind cleared. Just here and now. She had to heal her Shadow to heal herself. Koto offered her hands and Makoto took them, pushing as much energy into the healing as she could. One horn pushed down, then the next. Her nails began to smooth out and grow shorter, and her hair receded from a scraggly mess into the well-maintained cut she knew. Everything was normal, but she felt… Wrong. Her mind wasn’t waging war with itself anymore, and Koto screamed as she dissolved.

“ _ What have you done? _ ”

-

yuor devil: It worked! I think.

yuor angle: owo pics

**yuor devil sent Free.png!**

yuor devil: I think I should be okay!

-

Haru sat down across from Oku and ruffled her hair.

“Sorry for stealing from you, little. But can we be friends? I think I can fix us.” Oku nodded and moved to sit in Haru’s lap as she glowed green.

Another scream.

-

yuor angle: i’ll miss little me :( she was a cutie

yuor devil: True, but at least you’re okay.

steve: eff man,,, i beat up me,,,, this isn’t gonna be fun

Jared Leto: You  _ what _

steve: long story yadda yadda yadda stolen memories take back mask etc etc

ylvis: That was awkward.

steve: i’ll say

steve: wish me luck gays

-

Ryuji sat down with the weakened form and sighed.

“I’m sorry. I… I got out of control. That’s my fault. Can I make this right for ya?” The Shadow nodded, and Ryuji glowed green.

If a somebody screams in a forest, and nobody is there, does it make a sound? Or is it forever subdued into silence?

-

steve: uwu

jessica rabbit: That would be everyone, yes?

yuor devil: Sounds like it. I think everyone else who had one should confront their Shadows to eliminate the disease entirely. Thanks for the concern, Sis.

pancaek: alright, everyone else who had one was ann, futaba, and yusuke

pancaek: once that’s over i wanna try something

Jared Leto: OwO

pancaek: youll see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hullo hullo!!! so, starting next time i’m gonna start putting ways to directly contact me in the notes! that way if there’s a translation error or something like that, you can say so privately. plus, it just makes me feel happy to be able to chat with y’all! ~crys


	26. flashback

“Don’t let this fail, don’t let this fail…” The whole team was in Mementos, testing the waters, and Goro was muttering something under his breath. They came across the Reaper, and Goro clenched his fists. He looked to Akira and said,

“You, ah… May want to close your eyes.  _ LOKI! _ ” Akira slammed his eyes shut instinctively as Goro screamed for Loki. The rest of the team gasped. Goro struggled for control, before straightening and quietly saying,

“We have 5 rounds before I have a freakout. Maybe more if somebody buffs me. God, that was exhausting.” Akira slowly opened his eyes and nodded, ignoring the nausea boiling up in his stomach, the sweat forming on his palms.  _ It’s fine Goro is a friend he’s in control that was two years ago he’s better now he won’t hurt me he won’t get hurt.  _ Akira gave a weak version of his telltale smirk and sighed. Here we go.

“Everyone! Crow is calling the shots until he’s down!” The group nodded, trying to hide their shock. Goro Akechi, moving back to Loki… They never saw it coming.

A funny thing about this situation was that Loki wasn’t the only Persona that was volatile that day.

-

Jared Leto: Hey goro u good fam??? 

pancaek: yeah

pancaek: i figured something out last night

pancaek: i can still summon loki and make stuff go psychotic

yuor angle: we could tell,,, are you really alright??

pancaek: i’ll be fine

pancaek: anyways, it’s really tiring to summon him w/out making myself go,,, yknow

πthon: off the fucking deep end???

pancaek: yeah that

pancaek: so,,, gimme a sec i need to think of how to explain this

togoparty: Take your time.

pancaek: so imagine we have two stats, hp and sp (thanks yuuki)

npc: (hit points and,,, well i never really thought of a meaning for sp)

pancaek: so when i switch out, i lose about,,, lets say my max is about 100 in this scenario

pancaek: so if i lose 20 sp a turn that means i can only last about 5 turns before going down

pancaek: but with loki i have some new moves

pancaek: with one i can make things go psychotic

pancaek: that means that i can make their defense lower, attack raise, but accuracy drop significantly

Jared Leto: As ur leader im telling you now that loki is for emergency use only

yuor devil: Agreed. That’s very dangerous.

πthon: it is cool tho!!!! in a strategic way anyways,,,

togoparty: I must ask… Akira, are you okay after that?

Jared Leto: ?

steve: yeah, i noticed too!! what’s up, babe??

shi a ho: mmm, i think annie and i should tackle this

finnish line: a-fuckin-greed

Jared Leto: your dorm in 10?

shi a ho: sounds good!

-

Akira slowly walked into the dorm room, careful to not bump into Baybay’s tank. Ann was making tea while Shiho stretched on the couch before patting on a cushion.

“Go ahead, sit down! So, Akira, I actually don’t know what happened. I won’t make you tell me either. All I’ve heard is bits and pieces when  _ Ann  _ thinks I can’t hear her. So, what’s up?” Ann pushed a cup of tea into Akira’s hands before snuggling up next to Shiho.

“It’s okay, Akira, take your time. Nobody here will judge you. Why do you think we offered? We have PTSD out the ass!” Akira chuckled a bit as he took a sip of tea.

“Thank you two, really. I’ve been trying to talk more, to use my words, but…” Akira made a vague motion with his free hand. Ann nodded solemnly while Shiho looked on in confusion. Ann sighed.

“Right, right. He means that he has trouble expressing himself after so long being quiet like that. Plus, now that the original squad mostly knows what he means, not counting Yusuke and Futaba, they always knew, he doesn’t  _ have  _ to use his words all that much.” Akira nodded and took a deep breath.

“I didn’t talk for a while as a kid. Nobody knew what I sounded like except my mom, and even then, only a little. By the time I was in middle school, they tried to intervene, but… It didn’t work. I was still quiet. Once I moved to Tokyo during my Thief year, it got better bit by bit, and by the end of the year, I had actually said way more than I did during my entire time in elementary school.” Ann put a hand on Akira’s knee.

“I know it’s still pretty hard for you. Shiho, he really had trouble, actually. That time when you met him on the roof? He was doing a million times better than before. He does talk less when he’s afraid, but...” Shiho nodded.

“I can believe it. I actually was afraid to touch anyone for a while after my incident, so I get it. Whenever I get angry or scared, I make Ann let go of me. I lash out sometimes, because I mistake people touching me for… Him when I’m upset. I understand, Akira. I understand.” Akira drained his cup and gave a wobbly smile.

“Thank you, seriously. That… Means a lot to me. Almost died buddies?” Akira put up a hand for a high five and Shiho went in for it without missing a beat.

“Almost died buddies! Talk to me whenever you need to, OK? I’m usually awake at night too, so if you have nightmares, you can call.” Akira stood up and nearly went in for a hug before stepping back.

“Shiho, is it okay if I hug you?” Shiho nodded and Akira continued, Shiho soon returning the hug. As Akira let go, her mouth was agape.

“You were right, Ann, he is the best hugger ever. He’s like a teddy bear!” Ann grinned.

“Told you!”

-

**You have (9) new messages from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: It was november-decemberish when it happened, im pretty sure anyways

Jared Leto: My memory is a bit foggy

Jared Leto: Anyways, the team was in the palace when goro showed up and pointed a gun at us

Jared Leto: We battled him for a while, and then he went psychotic

Jared Leto: He was down and about to switch sides when his shadow showed up and,,,

Jared Leto: He shut us out of the room with a metal door

Jared Leto: We heard two gunshots, and futaba didn’t get any signals of shadows or people

Jared Leto: The last time i saw that outfit, that  _ persona _ , was when someone who i had cared about and then hated and then almost let myself care about again died

Jared Leto: Or well, when i thought he died

shi a ho: oh, akira,,, you didn’t have to tell me

Jared Leto: I legit saw one of your incidents with my eyes, i figure that it’s only fair you know one or two of mine

shi a ho: call us even then?

Jared Leto: Even

shi a ho: im glad i have ann, you know?? she gets that love doesn’t fix the voices, you know? the voices come and go, but theyre never,,, like,,, gone like i thought they were

Jared Leto: I know, i get that. Ryuji and yusuke get it too, never been more grateful

shi a ho: you too??

Jared Leto: Yeah, last year is when it really started up

Jared Leto: Being alone for so long is  _ not  _ good for me lol

shi a ho: but werent your parents home?

Jared Leto: A week after i came back they went on a business trip and didnt come back, and i just got checks in the mail from them

Jared Leto: I lived alone for a year

Jared Leto: I’d go through my day, text one of my friends, go home, stare at the medicine cabinet for a few minutes, go to bed, repeat

shi a ho: yeah,,, every day really feels the same when you’re that bad off huh

Jared Leto: Eat, sleep, contemplate, homework, repeat

Jared Leto: ,,, They came for a surprise visit one day

shi a ho: oh.

Jared Leto: They found me in the living room

Jared Leto: I’d been laying there for three days, hadn’t even done anything, just flopped down on the floor one day

Jared Leto: Hadn’t moved once, hadnt eaten, nothing

Jared Leto: Pokemon was on in the background

Jared Leto: Is that weird to remember????

shi a ho: nonono!!! i actually remember that when my incident happened, one of my sleeves was all wonky, like, thats the only part i remember really well, everything else is all blurry???

Jared Leto: Yeah

Jared Leto: Futaba shook me out of it

Jared Leto: They stayed for a week afterwards and called every day, n they left morgana behind to watch me

shi a ho: ohhh yeah, forgot about the watches that people do!

Jared Leto: Yeah lol

shi a ho: this is such a weirdass thing to bond over

Jared Leto: Yeah but we have something in common other than sh*jin at least

shi a ho: god sh*jin sucked

Jared Leto: Principal no-neck was an asshole

shi a ho: a fuckin greed

Jared Leto: Ok you know who was really an asshole

Jared Leto: Chouno

shi a ho: GOD I HATED HER

shi a ho: she was such a gossip

Jared Leto: Ikr

Jared Leto: Im like 30 percent sure that she spread a lot of the rumors about me being a criminal

shi a ho: god she hated ann

Jared Leto: What why??? I thought shed love ann

shi a ho: nah, she believed the rumors about her and Him

Jared Leto: WTF HOW

shi a ho: i know right???? and when  _ iiiiiii  _ go to her for help when He starts as volleyball coach, she says that i’m exaggerating

Jared Leto: Ughhghghghgghgh the worst part is if she werent so gullible she’d be an amazing person

shi a ho: ok but mr hiruta tho

Jared Leto: Hiruta,,, the twink???

shi a ho: yeah him

Jared Leto: He was def a bottom right

shi a ho: he exuded bbe

Jared Leto: He didnt like the thieves much tho :( 

shi a ho: yeah :/ sux but we cant do much. i gotta go to bed, glad i got to talk to u

Jared Leto: Same, we should talk again

shi a ho: lol, definitely!!!!! :D see you soon!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so!  
> you can find me on discord at raw sausig #7402  
> on nanowrimo and nanowrimo ywp you can find me at raw_sausig  
> on camp nanowrimo you can find me at sleeplessauthor00  
> and on tumblr you can find me at https://raw-sausig.tumblr.com/ (beware im really inactive)  
> and finally we have a discord at https://discord.gg/EzcJcHX


	27. palace

πthon: heyheyhey guess what

Jared Leto: ?

πthon: :3 yuuki will you do the honors

npc: we have a palace to check out!!! 

Jared Leto: !!!!!!! WHO

πthon: some pop star??? they say he worked with rise once but idk

Jared Leto: Everyone, let’s go

yuor devil: Once we get in, everyone split into their teams. That way, we can cover more ground.

pancaek: ann, shiho, morgana, you good?

finnish line: !! yeah lets go

shi a ho: sounds good crow

πthon: morgana says hes good

yuor devil: Haru, Ryuji, did you stock up and take showers?

steve: i did one of those things, i need to stock up

yuor angle: i also did one of those things!! gimme like 10 minutes

Jared Leto: Futaba, togo, yusuke, you ready

πthon: of course!!! i even got out the metaverse dorito money again

Jared Leto: DKJSHH YOU STILL HAVE THAT

togoparty: I’m ready. What’s this about Doritos?

Jared Leto: Ill tell you when we head in

-

“... So you mean to tell me that Oracle has a secret stash of money under her pillow to buy party size bags of Doritos for herself?”

“And a really big bottle of water! I’m healthyish!” Joker chuckled as Oracle took a swig from her bottle of ‘water’ (it was Mountain Dew), and motioned to his group to keep moving. This Palace was a mansion, but, like, a cool mansion. Not a weird mansion. Kind of a weird mansion.

“Hang on. I’m getting a signal up ahead.” The group hid behind a vase as Oracle looked closely at her scanner. Joker held his breath and peeked out from behind, only to be assailed by a  _ very  _ beat-up Skull. Fox was caught up in the hug as Skull smattered their faces with kisses.

“Oh my god, this Palace effin’ sucks, and my damn powers are acting up! There’s a safe room up ahead, the rest of us are already there.” Joker nodded and motioned to the rest of his group, Rook pointedly ignoring that Skull was still holding onto him. However, Rook was unable to ignore the bits of electricity that ran through Ryuji’s outfit, crackling and popping menacingly.

-

Jared Leto: Yusukeeeee come overrrrrrrrr

steve: yea we miss youuuuuuuuuu

ylvis: Hm… Alright. I’m bringing my tablet, though.

Jared Leto: Ugh fine

Jared Leto: We never should have gotten u that thing

steve: every day we come closer and closer to being the side hoes

ylvis: … Fine, I’ll leave it.

Jared Leto: !!!!!!!!! BABE I KNEW YOU LOVED US   
steve: !!!!!!!!!!!!! <333333333333333

ylvis: In return I get the good blanket tonight. I’m very cold lately, after all.

steve: ,,, i guess thats fair

Jared Leto: Or ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) stay over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and we can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) share it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

steve: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ylvis: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jared Leto: YASSSSS   
steve: UP TOP BABEY

Jared Leto: We already ordered pizza <3

steve: your favorite too

ylvis: … You’d eat pineapple pizza for me?

Jared Leto: Hell no we ordered a pepperoni too

ylvis: Good. I was worried that you were possessed.

steve: wtf why would we ever eat pineapple pizza

-

πthon: HAAAA GAY

Jared Leto: Youre just jealous

πthon: shUT UP THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET

steve: HDKSLLKJSHDHKHKJSDHKHKJDF LOL   
ylvis: Oh, she’s said “i’m so lonely i need a partner or smth” more times than I can count.

πthon: shuddup inari u gay

ylvis: No u.

πthon: no u

ylvis: No, u.

πthon:  _ no u _

Jared Leto: Ow

steve: another migraine??

Jared Leto: Yeah, can u pull up my migraine tunez pls :(

steve: if you never say tunez again yes

ylvis: Akira, do you need anything?

Jared Leto: on my nightstand i have soundproof headphones and a sleeping eyemask for this

Jared Leto: Can u pls grab them

ylvis: Of course. I’ll get you some water too.

Jared Leto: Thank u ;;

πthon: weren’t u on meds for those???

Jared Leto: The meds stopped working a month or two ago or i would be downing the bottle rn

togoparty: Rip.

npc: f for akira in the chat

jessica rabbit: I get migraines too.

yuor devil: Same. It’s probably hereditary with Sis and I, I remember Dad having the same problem.

shi a ho: looolllll chronic pain pals

pancaek: ayyyy

steve: ayyyyy

Jared Leto: Im gonna turn off my phone and like. Stew in my migraine for a bit til it goes away

πthon: feel better nerd


	28. spam futaba hours

* * *

finnish line: sooo how’s akira

Jared Leto: You’re bored aren’t you

πthon: called it

finnish line: i’m not really bored it’s just???? everything is super warm all of a sudden idk why but like sitting near the air conditioner doesn’t even help

Jared Leto: Hey futaba stop sending me that video

πthon: no

npc: video?

Jared Leto: She keeps sending me this

Jared Leto:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q)

πthon: uwu

finnish line: IS THAT THE FUCKIGN DUCK SONG?>???>?>?>?>

πthon: ye

Jared Leto: Yknow what fuckin fine

**Jared Leto kicked πthon from “anxiety gays”!**

Jared Leto:  _ @everyone _ spam futaba this

Jared Leto:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from finnish line!**

finnish line:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from ylvis!**

ylvis:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from pancaek!**

pancaek:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from togoparty!**

togoparty:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from steve!**

steve:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from npc!**

npc:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from yuor angle!**

yuor angle:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from yuor devil!**

yuor devil:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from jessica rabbit!**

jessica rabbit:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from Mama_Sakamoto!**

Mama_Sakamoto:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**You have (1) new message from shi a ho!**

shi a ho:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqSI7KQfOPc)

-

**πthon added πthon to “anxiety gays”!**

πthon: YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

-

ylvis: Hewwo?? I bewieve that Futaba changed mwy autocowwect. Can one of you confiwm ow deny this?

Jared Leto: Dkhehdkjkdhkhfe

steve: confirmed

ylvis: Of couwse she did. I sweaw, that giww wiww be the death of me. 

finnish line: SDKJBJCKBJDSHKJDSHKJDHHJKDS LOLLLLL

ylvis: This isn't funny. Futaba has tuwned aww of mwy texts, no mwattew how sewious, into some sowt of joke.

yuor devil:  _ @πthon  _ Please change Yusuke’s text back.

πthon: nah

yuor devil: Fᴜᴛᴀʙᴀ. Cʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ғᴏɴᴛs ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜɪs ɪɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ.

πthon: lol

steve: futaba u hav two bee kiddin me, this is hilarius lolololol

steve: WAIT NO

πthon: suck it

Jared Leto: ☞︎◆︎⧫︎♋︎♌︎♋︎📪︎ ◻︎●︎♏︎♋︎⬧︎♏︎ ♍︎♒︎♋︎■︎♑︎♏︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♌︎♋︎♍︎🙵

Jared Leto: 🕈︎♋︎♓︎⧫︎ ♒︎♏︎⍓︎

πthon: LOLLLLL

πthon: ho waiteth who is't hath changed mine own autoc'rrect

npc: change them all back or i’ll do worse.

πthon: how lacking valor couldst t beest?

npc: you asked for it.

πthon:  THEE DIDN'T! HOW DARETH THEE, THEE COMETH INTO MINE OWN HOUSE, CHANGETH MINE OWN AUTOCORRECT, AND HAS'T THE AUDACITY TO CHANGETH MINE OWN FONT TO COMIC SANS

npc: what’ll it be?

πthon:  fine.  but this isn't ov'r yet!

Jared Leto: Is it over

steve: ya i think it is

yuor devil: Oh thank God.

ylvis: I bewieve that you may have missed me? owo  Just wanted to make suwe that you wemembewed.

npc: nah.

πthon: nah

-

**You have (1) new message from πthon!**

πthon: STOP USING THE POWERS I GAVE YOU FOR EVIL

npc: no


	29. apology

**You have (1) new message from finnish line!**

finnish line: hey, ryuji?

steve: ya

finnish line: i wanted to apologize.

steve: for what???

finnish line: i… never appreciated you during our year. i hit you, i kicked you, i generally beat you up… i berated you and constantly put you down. i never thanked you. for that, i’m so sorry. i should have been better.

steve: ann,,,, i have an apology too actually

steve: i’m sorry that i made all those comments about your suit, about  _ you _ . it wasn’t right of me, and i was being a jerk. i’m sorry.

finnish line: i,,,, meet at my place and hug it out???

steve: definitely.

-

Jared Leto: Hey does anyone know why yusuke is chewing on his paintbrush

ylvis: None of your business.

steve: ?? u ok bro???

πthon: dm me akira, it’s ok yusuke. talk it out later?

ylvis: … Okay.

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Yeah whassup bruh

πthon: please try not to publicly broadcast his stims, i know u have good intentions but he gets embarrassed when people mention them

Jared Leto: ??? Whats a stim

πthon: you know that thing i do where i click my tongue, or when i flap my hands super hard?

Jared Leto: Yeah, i always just thought that it was a futaba thing tho

πthon: no, that’s actually called stimming, it’s an ASD Thing™,  remind me to show u an article later

πthon: basically when we get super excited or we get super overloaded, we have to release that energy somehow. with me, it’s tongue clicking and hand flapping, plus a few others. with yusuke it’s chewing and some more visual ones. i’m proud of mine and happy to share, but yusuke has really always been ashamed of his? so he gets embarrassed or frustrated when people mention them

πthon: it took me almost a year to build up that kind of trust with him, and even then it was super sonic sped up when i told him about me

πthon: when he told everyone that he was on the spectrum??? that was a big deal for him. he only got tested that year that u were gone, and sojiro and i had to be there to keep him from panicking.

Jared Leto:  _ Oh _

Jared Leto: I fucked up huh

πthon: yeah a bit, i don’t blame u tho

Jared Leto: Im gonna go like,,, apologize

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Hey yusuke??? Im sorry, futaba told me. I’ll do better in the future.

ylvis: Thank you for your apology. I love you, but I need time and space to think while I calm down, okay? I love you always.

Jared Leto: Love u always

-

ylvis: God, this is a bad idea…

πthon: it isn’t, b, go ahead. i’ll do some words too.

ylvis: Alright.  _ @everyone _

ylvis: I, ah… Have something I need to say, but it’s very hard for me. So please give me time to type. If I say anything in morse, please do not tease me. It’s the only way I’m comfortable.

πthon: do that or i eat ur tibia

ylvis: So, as you know, .. / .... .- ...- . / .- ... .--. . .-. --. . .-. .----. ... .-.-.-. , and that means that I exhibit symptoms. One such symptom is ... - .. -- -- .. -. --.

ylvis: As such, I sometimes do actions repetitively when I am stressed or happy. For instance, chewing. While most of my stims are visual, chewing is one that I do have. Please do not mention them to me unless I seem distressed.

πthon: alright, now so you PUNKS aren’t mean, im gonna say mine! i click, i flap, i rock, i snap!!!! like a lot! and those aren’t the only ones, so it’s real and leave him alone about it

finnish line: !!!!!!!!!! BKICUYTHJ IM SO PROUD

steve: ayoooo proud of the bf

Jared Leto: IM LOV

pancaek: yeah thats rad fam


	30. insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey guess what  
> i have a twitter now  
> follow me @trash_fanfic

Jared Leto: *taps mic* Solitary confinement is the fuckibg worst send tweet

steve: i know it’s a coping thing but it’s still hilarious to me that you used to get nervous when there were more than 3 people in the room but now you have to be with people at all times

πthon: deadass when u leave sometimes i’ll be woken up at 2 am by this dumb motherfucker who needs to be near people to sleep

Jared Leto: Hey futaba???? Fuck u

πthon: love u too bro

ylvis: I do have to wonder how solitary can impact a person in the long term. After all, just 2 months had a lasting impact on Akira.

Jared Leto: Uh yeah it fuckin did

pancaek: i wasn’t there for it (coma) but haru says you turned into a cuddleslut within a matter of weeks

Jared Leto: Yeah, not proud of that

finnish line: but we wuv you!!!!

steve: yea that was like. the most hugs i’ve gotten ever in my life that didn’t come from my mom

yuor devil: I distinctly remember him falling asleep on me.

Jared Leto: No human person nearby???? Can’t sleep no matter how hard i try

shi a ho: can we switch, i have trouble sleeping unless my room doesnt have people i dont know v well in it

Jared Leto: God i wish

shi a ho: same

Jared Leto: Anyways i’m gonna Nap bc ryuji just got home and wowza i’m tired

steve: k try not to snore too loud i gotta do homework

-

**Incoming call from Jared Leto!**

**Accept?**

**_…_ **

_ “Shiho?” _

“Hey, Akira. Did you have a nightmare?”

_ “Yeah. A pretty bad one too.” _

“Uh oh. Want to talk about it?”

_ “I… I don’t know. Maybe just distract me.” _

“Alright. Do you want to hear a funny story from my recovery?”

_ “Hell. Yes.” _

“Okay, so Ann was helping me out while I was learning to use my cane, as you do. So, I was by her pool because it was nice out.”

_ “Is this going where I think it’s going?” _

“Maybe. So, someone, probably her mom, had been eating a banana earlier and left the peel on the ground. Cane met peel, I slipped, and suddenly I’m in the pool.”

_ “FUCKING WHAT.” _

“Wait, that’s not even the best part. Ann stood there in shock for a few seconds before saying, ‘Wow… A banana got my girlfriend wet.’”

_ “DISHJSJSHSFGS DID SHE ACTUALLY?” _

“YES! INSTEAD OF HELPING ME, HER DUMB ASS MADE A SEX JOKE!”

_ “God I love Ann.” _

“Same.”


	31. meltdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright i know i have an excess of yusuke and futaba content but like. i had to  
> so to keep me from doing that too often, comment characters/relationships you’d like a chapter focused on, whether it be a closer look, fluff, or just some plain old meme bullshit. love you guys, and enjoy the chapter!

~~~~__πthon: inari

ylvis: I’m here Futaba, I’m here. What’s wrong?

πthon: normally school isn’t bad but everything is so loud n bright and there’s so much happening and i can’t breagge a bd im hidign in the batghroom becasue i’m scryubg pleade come pock me uo

ylvis: I’m on my way, Futaba. Can you make it to the office?

πthon: nn

ylvis: It’s okay, Futaba, I can come to you. Does Kawakami know?

πthon: noo n she ss gonna be MAD i rna our of kcass for no reasob

ylvis: Breathe. The school knows that you have meltdowns sometimes, it’ll be fine. Do you have your headphones with you?

πthon: mhmm

ylvis: Put those on. I’ll text you when I get there.

πthon: oaksy il ove you pls huryy

ylvis: I’m hurrying as fast as I can, I’ll be there soon.

-

πthon: ugh, my head… that was like. a lot of information at once and Me No Likey

yuor angle: i know how you feel,,,, mood swings are the worst

yuor devil: I keep blowing up at myself.

πthon: messed up squad?

yuor angle: ayyyyy

yuor devil: Ayyyy.

Jared Leto: Lol try having 14 voices in your head all screaming over each other at once and one of them is just satan

pancaek: i can kind of relate? i only have 2 but

Jared Leto: It’s fuckin  _ wild  _ isn’t it

pancaek: OH MY GOD YEAH

Jared Leto: Shit just backread you okay futaba

πthon: nnnnope

ylvis: Futaba! You’re still overwhelmed, and you know how screens affect you when you’re overloaded.

πthon: i knooowwww but i was gonna have to let them know that i’m alright sooner or later and akira has a tendency to jump to conclusions

Jared Leto: Wtf rude

dog vote: Hey kitagawa?

ylvis: ?

dog vote: Thank you for helping futaba out like this, it really means a lot to me

ylvis: No, thank you for allowing Futaba to spend time with us, Boss.

πthon: IM LOV U BOTH DHEHDHSHE

ylvis: Futaba, screen down.

dog vote: Futaba scree- oh

yuor angle: it was even funnier when she’d only eaten doritos for two days!!!

pancaek: dJDHEHEHDHSHSGS W H A T

finnish line: futaba got FOUR separate lectures, one from makoto, one from yusuke, one from boss, and one from takemi

Jared Leto: WTF WHY WASNT I TOLD

steve: we texted u screenshots but you were busy depressioning

Jared Leto: Ohhhh makes sense


	32. brother and sister

Jared Leto:  _ @πthon  _ FUTABA OUR STUFF CAME

πthon: HELL! YES!

yuor angle: oh, is it time?

Jared Leto: MEET US AT LEBLANC, BRING THE CAMERA

πthon: THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKIN  _ W I L D _

yuor devil: Why am I worried?

πthon: :3

Jared Leto: :3

-

πthon: DAAAADDDD AKIRA TOOK MY SHIRT

Jared Leto: NO I DIDNT SHUT UP

dog vote: Kids,,,,

Jared Leto: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING, FUTABA IS LYING

πthon: NU-UH, HE’S LYING HE TOOK MY SHIRT!

Jared Leto: NO I DIDNT 

πthon: YEAH YOU DID

dog vote:  _ Kids _

Jared Leto: DAD FUTABAS TOUCHING ME

πthon: i’m not touching you!!

Jared Leto: Yeah you are!!!!

πthon: no im not

Jared Leto: You are

πthon: noooooo

dog vote:  _ KIDS _

dog vote: Do i need to get out the get-along shirt

πthon: BUT SOJIROOOO

Jared Leto: Daaaaaddddddd

dog vote: I’ll do it

πthon: no u wont

-

**yuor angle sent shirt.jpg!**

steve: DKGSFGKSGKKGKFKJGKJKGJS

ylvis: Oh, I love the get-along shirt.

pancaek: friggin amazing

Jared Leto: Okay so apparently because this is “my fault” and that i should “be nice to my sister”, i have to take her to akihabara and buy her something

dog vote: I didnt say that akira

Jared Leto:  _ Ugh  _ i cant believe that sojiro is  _ making  _ me do this

Jared Leto: Let’s go futaba

πthon: !!!!! I LOV U

-

“Hmm… Oh, this is such a hard choice! I really want that Featherman figurine, but the other one looks cool too!” Futaba giggled and looked through the figurines as Akira watched, making sure to not interrupt her decision-making, smiling softly when he just barely heard a  _ clickclickclick  _ coming from her direction. He loved her, but there was no way in  _ hell  _ he was getting her both figurines. His eyes drifted as they caught a group of students browsing through the other side of the figurine shelf, whispering among themselves. Oh dear God, they were in earshot of Futaba. He edged closer to the group, straining his ears to hear what they were saying.

“Ooh, look at me, I’m just a little kid! My mommy is letting me get a figurine, but it’s  _ soooo  _ hard to choose! Grow up already!” Before they could finish, Akira was behind them, hand on the leader’s shoulder, and speaking in a quiet whisper.

“So. Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to leave my sister the  _ hell  _ alone before I find any more reasons to hurt you. Because if I do… You won’t like what happens next.” The teens scattered as Futaba, blissfully unaware of the exchange, bounded up to Akira.

“Okay, I  _ think  _ I decided, as hard as it was! Let’s go check out!” Akira silently grabbed the other figurine that Futaba wanted and placed it in her hands.

“Consider this a late birthday present.”


	33. nickname

steve: *ahem*

steve: I LOVE MY MOM

yuor devil: Best memory with your mom, go.

steve: all of them,??

yuor devil: Pick one.

steve: oOooOhhHHH I GOT A GOOD ONE

steve:  _ @Mama_Sakamoto  _ remember that time when i was five????

Mama_Sakamoto: oh my god, of course

-

_ “Ready or not, here I come! Where’s my Ryuji?” _

Ryuji giggled from inside a closet as his mom crept around the room, searching for him.

“Oh! Do I hear my baby?” Ryuji clapped a hand over his mouth, laughing even harder.

“I’m right here, Mommy! Right here!” Ryuji’s mom gasped.

“I can hear him, but where  _ is  _ he? He’s so sneaky!” Ryuji clambered out of the closet and walked towards his mom as quietly as he could, before jumping on her. Before he could get the chance to surprise her, though, she turned around and threw him over her shoulder, tickling him. The two struggled for control before falling in a laughing heap on the floor. It was one of the few times that Ryuji remembered seeing his mom happy back then.

-

πthon: hey losers

npc: hey baba

πthon: nnnNOooppPppEE

npc: ?

πthon: it’s nothing against you, it’s just that only certain people can use certain nicknames for me,,, yusuke is the only one with “baba” permissions

npc: OH, gotcha

πthon: like,,,, sojiro can call me half-pint, but akira cant

Jared Leto: Yeah but i have tabby privileges

πthon: oh shuddit

Jared Leto: I <3 my sister

πthon: love you too milky

Jared Leto: WHAT THE FUCK, MILKY IS THE WEIRDEST ONE YET

πthon: your skin. it pale like milk

ylvis: Also, Angelina Brolie is the weirdest.

yuor devil: No, definitely Butters. What does everyone else think?

yuor angle: brozart

finnish line: i’m thinking cheese

steve: wasn’t there like a solid month where she just called him derp

pancaek: mustard, definitely mustard

dog vote: Probably roadkill

jessica rabbit: Once I heard her call him Gasoline.

shi a ho: maybe trashman

togoparty: Sir Fartsalot.

npc: furry

Jared Leto:  _ W O W _

πthon: hey they all fit

Jared Leto: SHUT UP HERMIT

πthon: SBOSKVKGSKBWKBA  _ S T O P _

Jared Leto: Nah i don’t think so short stack

πthon: OKAY ITS ON MARIO

dog vote: KIDS.


	34. yusuke is Stronk

ylvis: Date night?

Jared Leto: Sorry, i have work :(

steve: i’m free, want to come over here

ylvis: It’s a date.

-

Ryuji nuzzled into an indifferent Yusuke’s side as a dog laid across them. They were watching a movie, the details of which Yusuke wasn’t quite interested in. All he cared about was running his hands through Ryuji’s hair, letting the sense of warmth he felt engulf him. 

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: How did it go

steve: it went awesome, thanks for letting me get some alone time w/ him

Jared Leto: Any time, love u babe

steve: love u too, heads up he’s asleep on me whenever you come back

Jared Leto: Send pics

steve: i will i will!!! god he’s amazing

Jared Leto: We’re two very lucky garbage boys

steve: effin hell yeah we are

steve: i mean just  _ look at him _

Jared Leto: I remember a time when we thought you were,,,, yknow,,,, *vague football motion*

steve: hOW DARE-

-

Jared Leto: Hey i’m free tonight, do my boys wanna catch a movie or smth

steve: hells yeah im down to clown till i’m in the ground

ylvis: ^

Jared Leto:  _ Fuckin sweet _

πthon: whaaat yusuke and i were gonna play ow!!!

finnish line: i gotcha covered! think i can mcree??

ylvis: How fucking dare-

-

Yusuke had Akira draped over his shoulder as he held Ryuji’s hand, pointedly ignoring the periodic laughter coming from Akira. Ryuji was struggling to stifle a grin too, saying,

“That-  _ snrrrk _ , that’s what you get for throwing popcorn at us!” Akira groaned and slumped, causing him to start slipping out of Yusuke’s grasp. With one fluid motion, Yusuke switched to carrying Akira bridal style while Ryuji looked on in awe. Akira gaped.

“Hot  _ damn _ . Ryuji, our boyfriend is jacked as hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright you beautiful motherfuckers whose turn is it to find the past chatlog this time i’m leaving it up to you


	35. uncanny guesses

finnish line: found an old chatlog! sending it now

-

Queen: Hello.

Jack Napier: Whaddup queen

steve: yo

lööps: hey queenie

Queen: Ann isn’t online? How unusual.

steve: ya she’s ‘studying’ at shiho’s

Jack Napier: 10 says she has a hickey next meeting

lööp: hey give her credit she’s a disaster gay it’ll be 2 more meetings until her and shiho get lit

Queen: W h y.

steve: y not

Jack Napier: Speaking of disaster lesbian

Queen: NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE. NOT TODAY, N O P E.

lööp: O W O

steve: tell ussssss

Queen: Please don’t tell them.

Jack Napier: Hmmm,,, what’ll you do for me

Queen: … I’ll do your homework for a week.

Jack Napier:  _ Perish _

Jack Napier: MAKOTO NIIJIMA RAN FACE FIRST INTO A WALL AT SCHOOL TODAY WHEN A GIRL THAT WAS OBJECTIVELY “CUTE” COMPLIMENTED HER

Queen: AKIRAAAAAA!

lööp: dOGSGOIGAJGS THIS IS G O L D

steve: QUEEN OMG I LOVE UOU

cheeto panther: DO I HEAR A DISASTER LESBIAN

Queen: Hey! I’m still figuring it out…

Jack Napier: Idk you seemed p grossed out that one time

Queen: Shut uuuuppp…..

steve: OWO

Jack Napier: No way, taking this story to my grave

cheeto panther: oh gtg shiho is frustrated bc i interrupted something

lööp: INTERRUPTED  _ WHAT _

**cheeto panther left the chat!**

steve: ANN AND SHIHO GETTING LIT #CONFIRMED

Drincc: It is  _ 3 in the goddamn morning _ .

Queen: Yusuke… Did you change your nickname?

Drincc: Blame Futaba.

lööp: HE SIP THE PAINT

Drincc: Ooh, wait, who complimented Makoto?

Jack Napier: Some girl, bout 5’2, third year, auburn-ish hair that curled at the chin, seemed like a sagittarius at first glance, and i’m gonna bet that she’s secretly a sadist

steve: wHATTHE EFF

lööp: CHRIST ALMIGHTLY

Queen: What in the goddamn world?

Drincc:  _ How? _

Jack Napier: Body language, speech patterns, bit of Third Eye but not much, and raw intuition

lööp: waitwaitwait what was your profile on me

Jack Napier: 4’11, dyed orange hair, severe agoraphobia and a sneaky type. likely a pisces, uses noise-canceling headphones possibly due to sensory issues

lööp: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

steve: ooh me next!!!!

Jack Napier: 5’9, bleached blonde hair, walks with a limp that reduces him to roughly 5’8 ½. sign is probably cancer, and generally an all-around good kid. a bit of a loudmouth.

steve: HEY

Queen: I’m going to regret this.

Jack Napier: Ooh, makoto was fun!!! She was actually super hard to read, all i got was 5’5 and taurus, with a tendency to work herself to the bone with no regard for her health

Drincc: Me?

Jack Napier:  _ Hot damn i’m gay _


	36. crop top boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, credit to cheshirekittin909 fof the line “*slaps roof of monabus full of pt* these bad boys can fit so much trauma in them”!!!!  
> anyways enjoy

πthon: *slaps roof of monabus full of pt* these bad boys can fit so much trauma in them

yuor angle: uh, futaba,,, i’m really sorry but

πthon: o shit right

πthon: correction imminent

πthon: *slaps roof of monabus full of pt* these bad kids can fit so much trauma in them

yuor angle: oh, thank you!!! <3

πthon: no prob bob

-

togoparty:  _ @yuor angle  _ Hey, on your way home can you pick up our stuff?

yuor angle: of course!! you need anything?

togoparty: I don’t think so?

yuor angle: on my way home now!

togoparty: Thanks, Haru.

yuor angle: no problem, togo-chan!

-

Jared Leto: Good morning you beautiful motherfuckers

πthon: you only call us motherfuckers if something good happened

Jared Leto: Yusuke ran out of clean shirts so he had to borrow one of mine

πthon: you gave him a crop top

Jared Leto: I gave him a crop top

steve: YUSUKE IN A CROP TOP OWO

ylvis: It’s not a big deal!

steve: nah bro you’re effin ripped

Jared Leto: I’m here watching him paint and god he’s ripped

steve: oooh send ab pics :eyes:

ylvis:  _ Fine.  _ Akira, go ahead.

**Jared Leto sent 3 images!**

steve: hdhdhdhsbsgs tHATS SO MUSCULAR WTF

πthon: ewww that’s my best friend

steve: DID YOU KNOW THAT HE WAS LIKE THAT

πthon: of course i did! did i pay attention? god no

πthon: hanging out in his dorm usually entails shirtless yusuke because he wants me to look at a temporary tattoo he got in a gachapon machine

yuor devil: Wow. That’s actually really impressive. Should we trade workout routines?

ylvis: I just carry a lot of things. Paint, easels, canvases, oil pastels…

yuor angle: that’s still very impressive!!

shi a ho: i kind of got them impression that u were a string bean yknow

finnish line: eh, you haven’t had him slap you

steve: A N N

finnish line: hey i never said who got slapped you dug that hole

npc: djHAGSGSGECAHANENEHHEHW

togoparty: I was watching Captain Marvel with Yuuki, and he fell over. Is this why?

pancaek: oh my god he fuckin dead

yuor angle: backread

pancaek: dDJEHSBSOSHSGWHWKWOWL

steve: with those short shorts mmmm delicioso

finnish line: ew

Mama_Sakamoto: woah, that’s actually impressive

dog vote: Maybe i should hire him on as muscle

πthon: shit the adults are here stop being thirsty

npc: i just got back and mm yusuke step on me tbh, hot damn fox

πthon: YUUKI

npc: SHIT FUCK DAMN WHAT THE FUCK DAMMIT

togoparty: Art or not?  _ @ylvis _

Jared Leto: Sorry he’s busy kissing his bf rn

steve: HEY AT LEAST WAIT FOR ME JEEZ


	37. w*sconson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no shade @ people who live in wisconson  
> tw for this chapter: getting outed. to avoid, skip from “finnish line: FUCK” to “finnish line: i’m going home.”

finnish line: heads up gonna be mia for a While bc im on a plane to america again :(

Jared Leto: R I P

steve: oh u going back to  _ that specific state _

finnish line: yeah i’m going back to the state that shall not be named to visit the grandparents wish me luck

ylvis: Oh. Have fun!

πthon: good luck in the states

pancaek: rip ann

yuor angle: i’ve forwarded you some ebooks and movies to download for if you get bored!

yuor devil: I’d tell you to do homework, but you won’t listen.

shi a ho: bring back That State souvenirs

npc: ohh she’s visiting again?

togoparty: I…  _ Which state? _

finnish line: the cheese one

togoparty: What the fuck is the cheese state?!

npc: w*sconson

Mama_Sakamoto: just backread, bring home cheese!!!

dog vote: Wtf

finnish line: *sigh* OKAY THERE MAY HAVE BEEN AN INCIDENT WITH **_THAT STATE_** WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND NOW I WONT SAY ITS NAME

steve: oh cmon tell them

Jared Leto: Yeah tell them

finnish line: ,,,, i called w*sconsin bisconson and my mom won’t let me live it down

shi a ho: better than bitchconson

npc: god that story gets me  _ every fuckibg time _

-

**You have (1) new message from shi a ho!**

shi a ho: saw that u landed, miss you already <3

finnish line: thx babe ily

-

**You have (1) new message from shi a ho!**

shi a ho: wish you were here

**shi a ho sent loveu.jpg!**

finnish line: HOT DAMN

finnish line: are you at the park???

shi a ho: mhmm!!!

finnish line: well damn that lighting does aMAZING things for ur face you look amazing and i love you so much and you’re hot as hell and i wanna kiss you so bad

shi a ho: hm i have an idea

finnish line: ,,,, call tonight so we can pretend that we’re together?

shi a ho: bingo

-

finnish line: u ever think about how hot your partner is and just kinda d i e

Jared Leto: Every day

steve: same

ylvis: Same.

yuor angle: oh worm?

yuor devil: Every waking moment.

npc: YALLRE LUCKY IM LONELY

pancaek: hey

npc: not that lonely

πthon: dIGEIGSGKGKAIGSHCSYCGFSUGSBUS R O A S T E D

pancaek: I LOG ON FOR 2 SECONDS AND I GET DRAGGED WTF

-

**You have (1) new message from finnish line!**

finnish line: send snake pics

shi a ho: hell yeah

**shi a ho sent 3 images!**

finnish line: ,,,, is that. ur. ur dress in the bg

shi a ho: which one? (*∩ω∩)

finnish line: the black one don’t act so innocent you kNOW HOW THAT DRESS MAKES ME FEEL HH

shi a ho: :3

finnish line: IM GOING TO HAVE A GAY HEART ATTACK IN FRONT OF MY GRANDMOTHER SUZUI

**shi a ho sent dress.jpg!**

shi a ho: took that pic earlier at a cafe on campus, thought u might like

finnish line: hFSUFAGIHAHHGHHHGHHGHH

finnish line: IM

finnish line: HHHHHH

finnish line: GSHSGHSHSGHHGHHGGH

shi a ho: it’s ok take your time honey

finnish line: I AM. SO VERY GAY FOR YOU SHIHO

shi a ho: just doin my job chief

finnish line: legit i gtg or my grandma will wonder why i’m dying over here and look at my phone and y’all know i’m not out to the fam yet

shi a ho: rip ily

finnish line: ily

-

finnish line: FUCK

Jared Leto: What’s up what’s wrong

finnish line: t h e y k n o w

yuor devil: Are you okay?

yuor angle: do you need to come home???

steve: shit do i need to beat anyone up

finnish line: i,,, i don’t know

finnish line: i left my phone unattended and while i was in the bathroom grandpa opened it up and read my texts but he couldn’t understand them so mom translated and when i got back out they were all looking at me and my mom handed me my phone and tapped on one of my messages and h

togoparty: Oh God. Are you safe?

finnish line: i don’t know yet

πthon: if anything and i mean anything goes wrong, we can get you back home. just say the word

shi a ho: i’m so sorry this happened to you babe. i love you so much, and i hope the pain eases soon

finnish line: i love you too shiho and i think i’ll be fine i’m just scared

-

finnish line: i’m going home.

yuor angle: booking you a ticket now. did things not go well?

finnish line: that’s an understatement. mom isn’t cool with it, dad is on the fence, and my grandpa basically disowned me

pancaek: shit. do you want me to come pick you up at the airport?

finnish line: yeah,,,,

yuor devil: I’m sorry things turned out this way. If you need us, we’re your family too.

togoparty: It sucks that you were outed, but if you need us, we’re here.

finnish line: thanks gays

npc: wait clarifying question did you get outed as gay or a phantom thief

finnish line: yes

npc: well fuck

ylvis: Ann, when you get back do you want to come over to watch movies?

finnish line: mmhm

finnish line: i think i’m gonna turn off my phone for a while while i process, ily gays


	38. one shot (NOT IN STORY PLOT)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so this is more of an experimental thing bc frankly i needed an ever so small break  
> this ISNT related to the plot of don’t go gentle, this is just a thing i wanted to do bc fuck it

It had been almost a week since Akira Kurusu had learned that his teachers were fucking liars.

_ “Everything will be fine!”  _

Everything was not fine.

_ “We’re safe here.” _

They absolutely were not safe at his school.

_ “Help is on the way!” _

If help was people to gun down anyone who had a cough, then yeah.

_ “Stay here!” _

No, run.

-

Akira had ran the moment the first blood was spilled, the first shot was fired. He may not have been the strongest, but he knew how to survive. He had been walking for close to 6 days now, and  _ god, he was tired _ . He didn’t know where he was heading, why he was going that direction, but he knew that it felt right. As he walked closer to the blurred shapes in the distance, he saw skyscrapers and beautiful, modern buildings. He was in Tokyo. 

-

Ryuji Sakamoto was part of a small band of survivors from his school. Their leader by default was Kamoshida, the shittiest gym teacher to exist. Effing pervert. But, Kamoshida kept them alive, so he had to grin and bear it.

-

Ann Takamaki was a foreigner stuck in Japan, an exchange student lost in a school she had just started a few weeks ago, with a language she didn’t know for shit. 

-

Yusuke Kitagawa had stuck with his mentor through it all. The disease spreading, quarantining themselves, going out to find food that Yusuke only got the scraps of.

-

Makoto Niijima loved her sister, the ruthless leader of a survivor’s group. They were allied with Kamoshida’s group, trading supplies and hunting together. Makoto was the brains, but her sister didn’t need brains. She had enough of her own.

-

Futaba Isshiki had been wandering when the disease struck. She knocked on a random door and was let in, her eyes shining with tears after she watched her mother drop dead right in front of her. She locked herself in a room and didn’t leave.

-

Haru Okumura was the daughter of a very rich man. She didn’t know how to function when money had no value, so she agreed to marry for an alliance.

-

And Goro Akechi… The less said about  _ his  _ situation the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to everyone who stayed, i hope you enjoyed!! if you want me to make it a full length separate story, let me know and i’ll see what i can do  
> happy trails!


	39. and so we’re back to the story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright thanks for putting up with last chapter’s experiment! i may start it up, all depends on how my schedule is this summer  
> anyways back to the story!!!

steve: DDJNDHDNDH I JUST SAW GORO PLAYING ON HIS DS AND I  _ W H E E Z E _

pancaek: SHUT UP STYLE SAVVY TRENDSETTERS IS A GOOD GAME RYUJI

Jared Leto: dHKOSVFKYSKHFSKHVSKCHSKHGKGS

finnish line: hah gaaay (omg i have the one after that send me the eshop link to yours)

pancaek: alright i will then we can play together

finnish line: i’ll gift u a copy of the edition i have too

pancaek: rad!!!

-

Jared Leto: I cannot bELIEVE

pancaek: shit

pancaek: haru told you

Jared Leto: THIS MOTHERFUCKERS BIRTHDAY

pancaek: pls i’m begging you

Jared Leto: IS JUNE SECOND

pancaek: NOOOOOO

yuor devil: Goro Akechi!

pancaek: nNnNnHafHgagahgAhsjs nooo

finnish line: wAHT

finnish line: i’m packing up my bedroom but HWAT

togoparty: Packing up your bedroom?

finnish line: yeah,,,

steve: ur moms a fuckin ass,,, i thought she was cool

yuor angle: ann, has she cut you off???

finnish line: no not yet, i think she’ll come around if she has a bit of time

yuor angle: if she does, i’m here.

finnish line: thanks haru, i think i’m gonna take a part time just in case tho

shi a ho: isn’t that aquarium downtown hiring???

finnish line: shit right!!! i’ll go apply

-

togoparty: Not going to lie, Sonia from the new Pokémon is pretty hot.

yuor devil: I know, right?

ylvis: Agreed.

Jared Leto: Togo yusuke wtf literally neither of you like girls

ylvis:  _ F a i r. _

togoparty: That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.

Jared Leto: O shit really???

Jared Leto: Noice

togoparty: Hey, Ann, Futaba, languages later?

πthon: sounds good!

finnish line: i’ll try to be there but no promises

-

**finnish line sent selfie.jpg!**

Jared Leto: Amazing, fantastic, wonderful, my skin is clear, my crops are watered

shi a ho: GOD MOOD


	40. squad squad squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey btw ive decided to continue that apocalypse au!!! uploads will be sporadic, but before i even get started i need a name, so... any ideas?  
> enjoy the chapter!

togoparty:  _ @pancaek _ It’s go time. Our package arrived.

pancaek: awww yeah

finnish line: wait, since when are you two friends?

togoparty: Since we found out that we had something in common.

pancaek: ^

yuor angle: oh! in that case, i’m happy to hear that we have something in common as well!

ylvis: Ah, and what would that be?

-

**You have (1) new message from togoparty!**

togoparty: How does she know?

pancaek: well i’m out to her, and that’s probs the only thing she can think of,,,, are you not out to the thieves yet????

togoparty: No, I’m not!

pancaek:  _ shit _ , i’m on damage control

-

pancaek: yeah, we’re all actually pretty into gardening. i picked it up from haru, and i guess togo picked it up when she took a break from shogi???

togoparty: Yes! It’s quite an interesting craft.

yuor angle: agreed!! ^^

togoparty: Anyways, maybe the three of us should meet up to talk about gardening soon!

yuor angle: oooh, i like that plan! goro, want to come to our dorm?

pancaek: sure!

-

“Oh hell yes. New binder city, baby!” Goro grabbed his new binder out of the box with glee as Togo simply pulled a new skirt out of the box.

“You know, I don’t really mind if I’m out to the group. It’s just that every time I try… I get scared.” Haru nodded in understanding.

“I get you. I don’t even remember exactly when I told them, it was all just a panic-attack blur.” Goro’s head whipped up.

“Same! That was before I even betrayed you all too.” Togo stifled a laugh as Goro told them about how he accidentally came out to the Phantom Thieves, with Haru interjecting along the way.


	41. yoshi did tax fraud pass it on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey hey guess what  
> i’m publishing this JUST BEFORE i go on a _goddamn airplane_  
>  i’m so hyped so HERE TAKE THIS  
> see you guys when i’m off the plane <3

jessica rabbit: _YOU GUYS._ I was just at the most awesome party.

yuor devil: Sis?!

Jared Leto: Pay up haru, told u she was a party animal

jessica rabbit: Shit, wrong chat.

yuor angle: dhdhehsg wHAT OTHER CHAT

jessica rabbit: … Just some old college friends.

yuor devil: Oh my god. Are they the ones that convinced you to get that tattoo?

jessica rabbit: Maybe?

pancaek: YOU TOLD ME THAT I WAS SEEING THINGS WHEN I MENTIONED THAT!!!

jessica rabbit: Oops.

yuor angle: oh hang on

yuor angle: _fucking business trips_

yuor devil: Babe?

yuor angle: suprise trip, I need to meet with the CEO of a company that’s related to some confidential business plans. it’s not far this time, only in hong kong!

yuor devil: Good luck, babe. Remember your wedding ring and your reading glasses, and don’t forget to pick up any prescriptions before you go.

yuor angle: gotcha!!!! ily babe

yuor devil: I love you.

jessica rabbit: Hey, Makoto, want to go get tattoos together?

yuor devil: Hell. YES.

jessica rabbit: Awesome. Some of the college squad is joining us, so dress casual.

yuor devil: Gotcha!

-

Sae laughed aloud at something one of her friends said as Makoto walked in the doors.

“Makoto! This is Masami and Yoshie.” The two smiled as their respective names were said. The green haired person spoke first.

“Hiya! I’m Hata Yoshie, he/they, and the beautiful enby next to me is Tajima Masami. Masami goes by they/them most days.” The brown-haired figure waved meekly. Makoto brightened and smiled.

“Niijima Makoto, happy to meet you two. She/her. Sis called me Little Trouble when she was in college, if that helps.” Hata grabbed Makoto’s hand excitedly and pointed to her ring.

“Who’s the person lucky enough to be married to Little Trouble?” Makoto blushed as Sae interjected.

“Okumura Haru, the sweetest goddamn girl I’ve ever met.” Tajima lit up.

“ _The_ Okumura Haru? Holy shit! Nice.” Makoto nodded as Hata gasped.

“Wait, wait. The one who owns Big Bang Burger? Does she, uh, have any tips on beating the challenge?” Sae shook her head.

“No, sorry. I know a guy, though. Remember when I told you about the one who I broke out of prison that one time?” Hata nearly fell over.

“No fuckin’ way. That kid? You _have_ to give me his number.”

-

Jared Leto: Who on earth is “tax fraud” and why did they randomly text me ‘Ay yo send big bang challenge tips ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵’

jessica rabbit: That’s my friend. Ignore him, he harassed me into sending him your number.

yuor devil: You cackled when you gave it to him.

jessica rabbit: He _harassed_ me into sending him your number.

Jared Leto: Lol what should i send back

steve: send a selfie

Jared Leto: Okay but like. Really blurry???

ylvis: YES. Absolutely, do it.

-

**You have (2) new messages from Jared Leto!**

**Jared Leto sent yaboi.jpg!**

Jared Leto: Hewwo

tax fraud: HEWWO MY HERO

Jared Leto: Why am i your hero

tax fraud: Well mainly you finished the big bang challenge and second you escaped from jail which is hot as hell (u‿ฺu✿ฺ)

tax fraud: Speaking of which hot damn like, i have a datemate but

Jared Leto: Hey me too

tax fraud: Rad who’s your dork

Jared Leto: Sakamoto Ryuji and Kitagawa Yusuke

tax fraud: WHAT YOU LANDED TWO Σ(O_Oil!)

Jared Leto: Ya it’s pretty great

tax fraud: So what’s your major

Jared Leto: Education

tax fraud: Hey!!!! I was an education major too

Jared Leto: Oh thank god

tax fraud: I was so tired are you ok sweetie

Jared Leto: Hell no lmao

tax fraud: AYYYYYYY

Jared Leto: AYYYYYY

tax fraud: We should do big bang coaching sometime

Jared Leto: YES.

Jared Leto: Next thursday??

tax fraud: Perfect d(>_･ )

-

Jared Leto: GAYS I MADE A NEW FRIEND I HAVENT DONE THAT IN LIKE A YEAR


	42. s o u p

**You have (1) new message from yuor angle!**

yuor angle: pssst hey goro

pancaek: owo

yuor angle: we should fuck with the rest of the thieves

pancaek: YES

pancaek: how tho

yuor angle: hmm;,, maybe sign up for another account and message them weird shit???

pancaek: “send pancakes”

yuor angle: too obvious

pancaek: “send soup pics”

yuor angle: PERFECT, i’ll have to let futaba know so she doesn’t expose us

-

Jared Leto: Y’all won’t believe i just got a random message and all it said was send soup pics

ylvis: Me too!

πthon: ya me too :/

steve: i just got that wtf

yuor devil: What the fuck.

togoparty: Same.

npc: i’ve been texted some weird shit but this is a whole new level

shi a ho: i mean i’m eating chicken noodle soup,,,

finnish line: omg are they watching us

yuor angle: i have the message too!!! :(

pancaek: same

Jared Leto: Futaba do you think you can find them

πthon: i can’t, sorry :( they’re untraceable

steve: HOW THE FUCK

steve: sorry mommy

πthon: listen!!!! i’m in high school!!!! i may be a hacking prodigy but!!!! goddammit there are some things i can’t do!!!!!

ylvis: Fair.

-

**You have (1) new message from ylvis!**

ylvis: liar.

πthon: shhhh don’t expose me yet it’s getting good!!!

ylvis: if you tell me who it is, maybe.

πthon: UGH FINE it’s haru and goro

ylvis: ACTUALLY?

πthon: ya haru let me know beforehand so i didn’t expose them

πthon: this is fuckin hilarious

-

ylvis: Anyways, if Futaba can’t… Who can?

yuor devil: I’m not sure, I’m just as confused as everyone else.

-

**You have (1) new message from yuor angle!**

yuor angle: ok now send something else, ur choice

-

Jared Leto: WTF DOES “nghnhgghhh soup me daddy” EVEN MEAN

steve: ARE YOU KIDDING ME

finnish line: what :) the fuck :)

πthon: DAVHSHDGSHSGGSGSFS

ylvis: Amazing.

-

**You have (1) new message from πthon!**

πthon: IM FUCKING YODELING

ylvis: SAME. SEND ME SCREENSHOTS, I NEED TO FRAME THEM.

πthon: ON IT IM CACKLIGB

-

yuor angle: goro this is singlehandedly the best thing we’ve ever done

Jared Leto: ? WTF

pancaek: HARU YOU BLEW OUR COVER


	43. literally just 527 words of shiho and goro interacting

pancaek: hey im bored and want hugs if anybody wants to hang out hmu

shi a ho: i am  _ zooming _

finnish line: ???

shi a ho: goro n i are friends now, walked/rode trains around tokyo for a while the other day and he protected me (and carried me when i started to get tired)!!

pancaek: shes cool

finnish line: !! :D

shi a ho: the funny thing is that we first went to shibuya separately, me to visit yoshida (hes such a sweetie!) and he went to go to that flower shop

pancaek: i just really like flowers ok

shi a ho: ANYWAYS, we bumped into each other at the station bc a creep was bothering me and so we just kinda hung out for the rest of the day when that was taken care of so nbd 

pancaek: we hung out at the batting cages for a while, got our nails done, went to a movie, got some food at a maid cafe, said hi to chihaya, yknow

shi a ho: yeah!!! it was actually super fun, im super sorry that we didnt pick you up ann :(

finnish line: no its ok!!! im glad to see you two get along so well, i didnt think you had much in common

pancaek: depressed

shi a ho: gay

pancaek: in therapy

shi a ho: phantom thieves

pancaek: on anti-depressants

shi a ho: ,,, gay

pancaek: very gay

finnish line: djkhdsjsdhjk

finnish line: GOD MOOD

finnish line: but seriously send pics when u get there shiho

shi a ho: will do

pancaek: zoom faster my platonic love

shi a ho: IM HEELYING AS FAST AS I CAN

shi a ho: lol im here

pancaek: omg i heard you crash into the door are you okay

shi a ho: i mean im gonna need help back up and im def gonna have a wicked bruise on my everywhere but yeah

pancaek: ,,,, shiho your cane punched a hole in the wall

pancaek: SHIHO WHY DID YOU GIVE YOUR CANE A WHEEL

  
shi a ho: chillax its my spare

pancaek: you’re going to give me a HEART ATTACK

shi a ho: shaddup and help me up so i can fix the damn wall

pancaek: how are you going to fix this???

shi a ho: ,,,, have any duct tape??? and one of those posters that are everywhere on campus

pancaek: yes and i have 12

shi a ho: great! okay legit help me up ive been laying here for a minute now

pancaek: JEEZ IM SORRY PULLING A CANE OUT OF THE WALL IS HARD WORK

finnish line: ,,,, w h y

shi a ho: you let two chaotic and depressed people into one room what did you this was going to happen

pancaek: ok grab onto my arm and ill just help u in so we can fix the wall

shi a ho: maybe we should watch a movie instead of going outside at all today??

pancaek: ur made of chaos so yes

shi a ho: chaos and gay

pancaek: fair

πthon: IM IN CLASS CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP BLOWING UP MY DAMN PHONE   
  



	44. happy father’s day shido :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a special father’s day chapter you memory beauties!!! this chapter is dedicated to:  
> epicpeachtime for mentioning yusuke naruto running!!!  
> deltacrow for “crowo what’s this”!  
> and most importantly my fake-dad (daddy nyehe) from ttom, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE   
> anyhoodle enjoy

npc: hey  _ quick  _ question

Jared Leto: ?

npc: why does yusuke naruto run in the metaverse

Jared Leto: Dkaggksgisfusgjkgs

Jared Leto. I. I never noticed

Jared Leto:  _ @ylvis  _ Why do you naruto run in the metaverse

ylvis: … No comment.

πthon: YUSUKE KITAGAWA IS AN ANIME NERD

ylvis: GODDAMNIT FUTABA, THAT WAS A SECRET!

πthon: not anymore >:3

pancaek: TORANOSUKE YOSHIDA IS A BLESSING SEND TWEET

yuor angle: oh, did he give you the address??

pancaek: ya does makoto have the stuff on her end

yuor devil: I have it.

pancaek: shiho what about you

shi a ho: yeah

pancaek: togo?

togoparty: I do.

pancaek: RAD you all know what to do right

togoparty: Toss into his car and go.

Jared Leto: Hwat are you three doing?????

pancaek: father’s day gift :)

Jared Leto: OH SHIT

πthon: remember you got one for sojiro last week

Jared Leto: Right!!! I did!!!! I just have to go pick it up in,,, fcuk where’s the store

πthon: down in shibuya in the underground, 2 turns from the flower shop

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: You lifesaver

πthon: buy me the new island living pack when it comes out and we’re even

Jared Leto:  _ F i n e  _ (already preordered it 4 u, check your origin)

πthon: I LOVE YOU

-

pancaek: dHAHKAHSHHAHAGSV WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT BUT HDHSHGAGSGS

togoparty: The look on his face was  _ priceless _ , oh my god.

shi a ho: fUCKIGB YODELING ZBVSHSGS

yuor angle: i hope makoto got a picture as you were running away/it triggered!!!!

pancaek: HARU YOU BEAUTY THANK YOU FOR CONVINCING HER

yuor devil: I can’t believe Haru convinced me into this… You all will have the video soon.

pancaek: extra fine neon pink glitter triggered by a springloaded singing card that sang “boom boom boom boom” by vengaboys at practically criminal volumes

shi a ho: motherfucker’s gonna have glitter in his dry-ass scalp for years

ylvis: This is amazing. I’m so happy.

Jared Leto: Thanks for helping meme on goros asshole dad makoto 

yuor devil: It was pretty funny.

yuor angle: i found it enjoyable to watch him suffer for what he did to my family!!!! :)

togoparty: You forgot about the dick confetti.

pancaek: OH YEAH that was in there too and the card said “have a miserable father’s day u fuckin asshole -crOWO WHATS THIS”

shi a ho: amazing


	45. cursed concept

finnish line: sHES BAAAACK PEOPLE 

pancaek: oh god oh fuck who

πthon: SUZANNE COLLINS IS BACK TO SAVE THE YA GENRE

Jared Leto: HELL YES

steve: EFF YEAH

ylvis: What?

yuor angle: it’s happening people, everybody stay calm!!!

pancaek: yusuke you deprived child i’m stopping by your room with the first book exactly now

npc: SHIT REALLY

togoparty: ? Isn’t that the one who made the movies?

shi a ho: hush normie, let me read to you

togoparty: Okay???

finnish line: anyways pokémon swsh is for wlw only

shi a ho: truuuu

yuor devil: Sonia seems fun.

yuor angle: wait!!!! this feels super jam-packed and jump around-y

shi a ho: the author has had so many FUCKIN ideas these past few days tho

Jared Leto: Rip her i need a nap tbh

-

**You have (1) new message from πthon!**

πthon: yo goro just thought of THE MOST CURSED CONCEPT EVER

pancaek: wtf why aren’t you dming yusuke about it

πthon: cause it concerns you and trust me it’s so fucking cursed

pancaek: ,,,, like on a scale of new sonic to  _ that one  _ furby w legs how cursed

πthon: past furby with legs

pancaek: bring it on, nothing is more cursed than legfurby

πthon: what if the walking orange shades egg is my dad

pancaek: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS  _ W R O N G _

πthon:  _ i _ dont know who my dad is,  _ you  _ don’t know who my dad is

πthon: we could be brother and sister

pancaek: what the actual fuck caused this idea futaba

πthon: 5 am sensory overload recovery and redbull

pancaek: that is really fucking cursed

πthon: i MEAN we could totally fuck with the rest of the thieves with it

pancaek: still cursed but i’m on board

-

pancaek: hey futaba

πthon: ya?

pancaek: what if shido is your dad

finnish line: WHAT GHE FUCK

πthon: i mean that would totally make us half siblings

pancaek: that’d be cool

finnish line: the fuck is wrong with you two

πthon: depression

pancaek: yeah depression

πthon: anygays that d o e s make sense

steve: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO

dog vote: What the hell did i just read

ylvis: Futaba.

πthon: yeeees yusuke dear my darling spectrum pal my friendspouse???

ylvis: You and Goro are fucking with us big-time, aren’t you?

πthon: little bit :3

pancaek: what we would  _ never _


	46. tessa thompson in a suit: the movie

finnish line: just saw mib international and hot diggity damn am i gay

yuor angle: you saw it without me???

finnish line: you’ve been in hong kong for two weeks i couldn’t wait anymore

yuor devil: I’ll wait for you, Haru.

yuor devil: Also, you made a typo. *Tessa Thompson, Certified Bi Icon In A Suit: The Movie

finnish line: ah you’re right, fucked that one up

πthon: omg tessa in a suit,,, like anyone in a suit is hot okay don’t @ me

togoparty: Agreed. That is… A beautiful image for my little pan mind.

πthon: oh yo!!!!! same

togoparty: Yooooo!!!!

πthon: ayyyyyyy

shi a ho: god tessa motherfucking thompson, certified bicon, queen of thirsty tweets, and major asskicker in thor: ragnarok in a suit is all i needed in life and more

yuor angle: ann i found really cool shoes in the kids section!!!!!

finnish line: OWO

**yuor angle sent itsHoLOBIATCH.jpg!**

finnish line: hdhdhdhs OH MY GOD THEYRE SO CUTE

yuor angle: i wish they fit ;(

finnish line: it’s ok bb try not to think abt it too much

-

**yuor angle sent gotem.jpg!**

finnish line: THEY HAD YOUR SIZE?????

yuor angle: they did!! i have them now and i love them <3

yuor devil: They look wonderful, Haru.

yuor angle: thanks!!! gonna roll up to a meeting in them

shi a ho: hey haru did you get a second pair?

yuor angle: i always do!~

shi a ho: bring the second pair back unused and i can turn them into heelys

yuor angle: YOU WHAT

finnish line: did you guys really think that all this weird heelys were bought online??? her fucking desk has a shit ton of wheels on it!!!

yuor angle: ,,,, i’ll bring you the shoes, what’s your price?

shi a ho: mmmm a bunch of feeder mice for my snakes. i’ll dm you the size

yuor angle: deal!

yuor devil: Bartering is returning and capitalism is a lie.

Jared Leto: God i wish, speaking of which i have your teams lockpicks if you have our various jewelry

yuor devil: Yep! Meet after your next class?

Jared Leto: Sounds good

steve: y’all just proved makotos point and also futaba check your email

πthon: IS YHIS A GIFT CARD

πthon: CAN I FINALLY BUY MINECRAFT

steve: yusuke n i pitched in to get you minecraft cause we knew you wanted it

πthon: y’all are the BEST i need a nap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if y’all wanna see the shoes that haru’s are in real life then like join the discord pls 👀


	47. saw this song, made me think of you

ylvis: Having your best friend falling asleep in your arms is a religious experience.

Jared Leto: Wtf werent u going to get art supplies???

ylvis: And I was! I brought Futaba with me, one thing lead to another, and now I’m carrying her like a sleepy baby. It’s adorable.

Jared Leto: HOW ARE YOU TEXTING

ylvis: I can’t see my keyboard well, but I can still type.

steve: yo that’s cute as shit ily bae

ylvis: Love you too. I’m taking her home, don’t worry.

finnish line: how’re you gonna get in???

ylvis: Oh, no, Boss’ door is locked, I tried it. At this point, Futaba is practically Goro and I’s third roommate. As long as she gets to school on time, it works wonderfully.

pancaek: hey yusuke should i make sure we have the Good Blanket dryer warm???

ylvis: Sounds good. I’m on my way, you know where the nest is when it’s warm. Don’t worry, feel free to fall asleep. Just leave the door unlocked for me if you do.

pancaek: k

-

“ _ Ghnghhh…  _ Inariii, come here. Inari. Yusuke. Art man. I’m sleepy. Join the nest.”

“Fine.”

-

**ylvis sent sleepy.jpg!**

ylvis: I would die for this girl a hundred times over.

Jared Leto: I bet she’s laying across your stomach rn in that weird way you love

ylvis: Yes. I’m actually starting to get sleepy, so I’m going to use your sister as a weighted blanket.

Jared Leto: Have a good sleep, tell her i said she’s adorable

steve: hey quick q why the  _ EFF  _ is our bf so endearing???

Jared Leto: Hes cute and we’re gay

steve: fair

shi a ho: every day i wonder how those two don’t get mistaken for a couple

steve: oh they do

Jared Leto: Every day

steve: actually it’s gotten to the point where as a joke akira and i got a shirt for yusuke that says “I AM NOT DATING THE ORANGE HAIRED GIRL”

steve: actually akira dont u and futaba get mistaken for a couple sometimes

Jared Leto: Usually i just say “what the fuck that’s my sister, hell no”

steve: rip akira, ultimate ladies man

Jared Leto: I DONT WANNA BE A LADIES MAN THO IM GAY

npc: look at his silk translucent socks!

npc: WRONG CHAT

pancaek: dHLSAHKLDHLKahlaHLKHLAHLKDLKHDLHHDAHLK YUUKI

npc: SHADDUP OKAY GORO

pancaek: NO THIS IS GREAT

npc: GORO PLS

pancaek:  **_YUUKI MISHIMA LYRICPOSTS LEGALLY BLONDE_ **

npc: im going to break every bone in your body and take your spine as a trophy for my efforts

pancaek: get in line sweetheart~

npc: ,,,, okay akira has definitely been rubbing off on you, i once said that exact string of words to him and he basically had the same response

Jared Leto: JHKDSHjkDJHKJ I REMEMBER THAT

πthon: already have it loaded >:3

steve: JESUS FUTABA I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASLEEP

πthon: i was and then i smelled yuuki being put on blast

npc: shut up and give them the chatlog already

-

**You have (4) new messages from april fool!**

april fool: Yuuki

april fool: I know you’re awake

april fool: I know you’re reading these tater tot

april fool: Baby. Pls respond

npc: it is two in the goddamn am and i really am fond of you but  **_w h a t_ **

april fool: I found this song and it made me think of u

npc: okay that’s kind of sweet, let’s hear it bup

april fool:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3IgwLT_mYc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3IgwLT_mYc)

npc: ,,,,,,

april fool: what do you think?? :D

npc: im going to break every bone in your body and take your spine as a trophy for my efforts

april fool: kinky, you’ll have to get in line tho

-

finnish line:  _ mOTHERFUCKER IS THIS WHY YOU CALLED HIM YOUR BIRD AKIRA _

npc: yes. i hate him

steve: akira says that that isnt what you said when he confessed to you and made out with you intensely in an alleyway for close to 10 minutes

npc:  **_i hate you so much_ **

steve: that isnt what you said at that party.

npc: you motherfucker i thought you said we’d never mention Pity Party For Lovesick Hoes Central again

steve: listen i get to use it against you, it’s fair game

finnish line: ,,,, no. you don’t mean the party that had ryuji in a weird depression-panic for the next week???

npc: oh he does.

finnish line:  _ HOLY SHIT _

shi a ho: i smell yuuki getting humiliated whats up-- OH MY GOD THAT PARTY???

steve: yep. should i do the honors?

npc: yeah sure im gonna go die in a hole

steve: tomorrow tho bc its 2 AM

Jared Leto: Got it so the story continues tomorrow???

steve: ya if it doesnt yell at whoevers responsible over disc


	48. becky lemme smash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact i basically wrote the entirety of this chapter in 20 minutes so

steve: OKAY, long day but here we go.

steve: so basically yuuki and i were gettin our pity party on, doin our thing and crying about our unrequited love (he was actually the first person i was out to after my mom lmao) anyways

steve: so like im like “eff man i’ve only kissed one person before and that was a disaster” yknow as you do

steve: and this dumbass is like “uh i mean. when you do it right its pretty great wanna see”

steve: im lonely and so like, im like “ya sure why not” bc it’s not an ACTUAL kiss its like a fuckin. purpose-bad practice kiss

steve: seriously it was like. That One Middle School Kiss

npc: oh my goooddddd noooo i know this next part

steve: so like just as the kiss happens weve been playing yuukis playlist on shuffle this whole time and

steve: and he just

steve: his playlist

npc: HAVING VIDEO GAME SOUNDTRACKS ON YOUR PLAYLIST ISNT WEIRD RYUJI

steve: IT IS WHEN MEGALOVANIA STARTS PLAYING IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SECOND KISS

finnish line: second wtf????

Jared Leto: Long story

steve: very long story that involved ramen bad decisions and a cruise ship

steve: ANY-EFFING-WAYS i just start D Y I N G as you do

npc: this motherfucker was choking on his own laughter inches away from my face and i,,, I THOUGHT HE WAS LAUGHING BC I WAS A BAD KISSER CAUSE I DIDNT KNOW THAT MEGALOVANIA WAS A MEME AGAIN

steve: SO HE JUST STARTS C R Y I N G

npc: HEY I WAS VERY STRESSED

steve: AND THEN IM FREAKING OUT BC I THINK IM A BAD KISSER

npc: and we didnt talk for a whole month

steve: ya you broke first tho

npc: SHUT UP SHIHO SENT THE TEXT

shi a ho: you made me send the text you motherfucker

npc: fuk u i have the power of megalovania and bad kissing on my side

Jared Leto: Kdsahjkdsakhjdjkhdhaksjhkjdjhkd this is pure comedy gold at least in my eyes

finnish line: not as funny when ryuji is texting you constantly for a week “ann what if im a bad kisser like that was practice and we wont ever date we’re bros but like??? Did he cry bc im a bad kisser hhhh” and he wont listen to you saying to just ask for gods sake

shi a ho:  _ @yuor angle  _ your heelies are done!!!

yuor angle: cool, i’ll come and get them!

yuor angle: i just backread and WHAT THE FUCK

steve: HEY I WAS JUSTIFIED BOTH TIMES I HAD KISSED SOMEONE THEY ENDED UP CRYING

Jared Leto: I CRIED BECAUSE YOU ALMOST DIED

ylvis: The first time I kissed Ryuji, I cried as well.

steve: thats bc you drank paint water bitch

ylvis: Stop calling me out when I’m already calling myself out.

steve: no u

πthon: inari turn off ur phone,,,, m still sleepy why arent you asleep

ylvis: Futaba you are literally laying right on my lungs right now.

πthon: o shit sorry ill move

ylvis: Thanks. Goodnight!

πthon: night inari

-

yuor devil: I wonder how many words I can write in 20 minutes?

togoparty: Why?

yuor devil: Essays, I want to get mine done a bit before the due date so I can relax.

yuor angle: mako, your version of relaxing is falling asleep while intently researching something law-related on wikipedia

yuor devil: I meant  _ y _ our version of relaxing.

yuor angle: oh

yuor angle: oh!!! (/////) finish that paper soon

steve: do i wanna know

togoparty: I’m going to bet that we really don’t.

steve: agreed, im never going to think about this conversation again, also my bet is 420

yuor angle: 666

togoparty: 69

yuor devil: You all are awful and I hate you.

yuor angle: i’m getting the wine now, mako!

yuor devil: I hate everyone but Haru.

yuor angle: aww, babe!!! <3

steve: gross

Jared Leto: Ryuji turn off your phone and come play smash with me or no smash for a week

steve:  _ lemme smash _

Jared Leto: No ron, your tail is small

steve: you want some blue

Jared Leto: Go find becky

yuor devil: … I hate that I know what you two are quoting.

yuor angle: it is funny, mako!!!

yuor devil: You’re right, but…

jessica rabbit: Makoto! I bet you can write 500 in twenty minutes. Not as many as me, but…

yuor devil: Oh, it’s on. Timers set to 20 minutes, whoever writes the most wins. Loser owes the winner one free dinner.

jessica rabbit: I’m down.

yuor devil: Go.

-

yuor devil: Alright, i hit 786, you?

jessica rabbit: … 780.

yuor devil: YES!!!! I WIN, SUCK IT.


	49. inari works out

jessica rabbit: Haru, did you know that Makoto has completed the Big Bang Challenge?

yuor angle: i wish i didnt! :D

Jared Leto: Ohmygod i was there it was horrifying

pancaek: so was i!

Jared Leto: Wtf where

pancaek: french braid sitting in the corner in a really cute t shirt (hello kitty)

Jared Leto: Ohhhhh, you were the one that walked in right after us???

pancaek: ya, what did you think of my makeup

Jared Leto: On point fam

pancaek: uwu i did it myself

Jared Leto: Oh legit????? Fam do that for me someday i didn’t even suspect it was you

pancaek: literally all i did was contouring

Jared Leto:  _ And it worked _

Jared Leto: Wait were you following us

pancaek: ya a little, ann might remember me as the nice one who helped her zip up her dress and fix her hair that one day?

finnish line: ohmygod that was you???? awww thanks <3

steve: wait. sports store, helped me reach some shoes?

pancaek: das me

ylvis: I’m going to bet you were the one who helped me find the right easel?

pancaek: yep

πthon: god you were that regular in the old man makeup

pancaek: wait you knew it was makeup

πthon: kind of obvious but sojiro n i kinda assumed you were some actor

pancaek: awww, i mean i was lol

yuor angle: oh, yes! he wanted to make a good impression on you all while being someone who wasn’t quite him. it worked remarkably well, but i’m sad that i had to keep it a secret from you :(

Jared Leto: No that’s fair i probs would have kicked his ass

πthon: same

ylvis: Same.

finnish line: oh god same

pancaek: same

yuor angle: hEY WAIT

-

jessica rabbit: Okay, now Yusuke is just showing off.

Jared Leto: Oh, is he doing the Thing with futaba again

steve: which Thing, the one where he carries her like simba or sits her on his arm

jessica rabbit: He’s actually doing push-ups while she sits on his back and plays video games.

steve: oh that’s new

Jared Leto: O ya i got him a gym membership

steve: WTF AKIRA HES ALREADY JACKED AS HELL

Jared Leto: Yes i am aware

togoparty: He did this because the gay curiosity was consuming him.

πthon: i gotta admit it works out great for us both

πthon: i get to play a bunch of games, inari gets a workout, we both get a nap the moment he drops

jessica rabbit: It’s interesting. Honestly, I came because Futaba said we would be playing Mario Kart. I didn’t expect this.

πthon: yeah and? pick a character

jessica rabbit: Hmm… Baby Rosalina.

πthon: ok now i’m curious, why?

jessica rabbit: Her weight is low as hell. Enough said.

πthon: ya makes sense, i’m usually inkling girl bc i lov her

πthon: she just has the face of an absolute Bastard and i can respect that energy

jessica: I’ll prove that Baby Rosalina is better.

πthon: oH YOU’RE ON. INARI, GUN IT

steve: there’s no way he’s reading these tho???

jessica rabbit: He’s reading the notifications.

steve: oh

steve: hey bae u cute <3

πthon: OW

jessica rabbit: He dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Jared Leto: Yeah, sounds like him


	50. yusuke can cook

πthon: alright WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS KNEW THAT YUSUKE COULD COOK

steve: what’s up

πthon: WHAT THE FUCK YUSUKE KITAGAWA JUST MADE THE BEST RAMEN IVE TASTED IN YEARS HOW THE HELL

steve: ohhhh yeah he  _ does _ cook

Jared Leto: Ya, he says it’s like art but for the hungry

ylvis: The hungry is me. I am the hungry. Let me at that ramen, Futaba.

πthon: make some your goddamn self, bastard

πthon: in the actual YEARS i have known you, never once have you told me you could cook

steve: hey i mean it’s great for date night

Jared Leto: We “help” him in the kitchen and he makes food

ylvis: If “help” means hiding everything, then yes. You two help a great deal.

Jared Leto: :3

steve: <3

ylvis: >:(

πthon: OwO

yuor devil: What in the goddamn…

ylvis: I have no idea, just roll with it.

pancaek: wait does that mean

pancaek: yusuke can you

pancaek: hhhhhh

pancaek:  _ can you make pancakes _

ylvis: Yes? Where did you think I got the pancakes last month?

pancaek: uhhhhh idk

ylvis: Jesus.

yuor angle: !!!! yusuke, we should work together sometime to make something!!! :D

ylvis: Agreed! I would love to experiment with food, especially in your kitchen.

finnish line: yusukeeeeeee

ylvis: Oh. That’s why I never announced that I can cook.

finnish line: yusuke, cake pls? :(

ylvis: Your puppy dog eyes can’t convince me.

finnish line: pleaaasssseeeeeeee :(((((((

ylvis: They will not!

shi a ho: please yusuke, send cake :(

finnish line: yeah, shiho wants cake too!!! :(

ylvis: No, no, and no.

togoparty: Now I’m craving cake. Please? :(

πthon: cake cake cake cake pretty please :(

yuor angle: please???? :(

yuor devil: Haru is really making it hard to not also ask. :(

npc: oooh, cake sounds good, pleeaaaassseeee :(

ylvis: Your puppy dog eyes  _ cannot  _ convince me!

Jared Leto: Yusuke bby pls i’m begging you :(

steve: <3 :(

ylvis: NO.

**Jared Leto sent sapphieeyes.png!**

ylvis: FINE.

Jared Leto: Actual puppy eyes for the win

steve: yesssss

-

ylvis: How did you all end up crying?

yuor angle: i just— the cake is so good and it reminds me of the old days when we were  _ kids  _ and could do whatever but now we have to pay taxes and i hhhhhh

yuor devil: I started crying because Haru started crying.

finnish line: i started crying because makoto started crying

shi a ho: i started crying because ann started crying

npc: i started crying because shiho started crying

togoparty: I started crying because… Honestly, I’m not sure.

steve: i started crying because empathy is a motherfucker

Jared Leto: I started crying bc ryuji was crying

πthon: i am ready to cry at any goddamn moment tbh

pancaek: god mood, i can actually cry on command

ylvis: Fair. Cuddle pile once cake is done?

shi a ho: hmmm,,,, only if i get to be draped across the top of you all so nobody is holding me down

ylvis: Consider it done.

npc: hell yes cuddle pile


	51. o hecc chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to say that this chapter is first and foremost dedicated to my friends bird and kimchi, who gave me a lot of the one-liners used here today!!! love you guys, even if you are the big gæ. enjoy reading!

yuor devil: Good morning!

pancaek: howdy

**steve sent** [ **y=mx+b** ](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.446983938.0477/mp,550x550,gloss,ffffff,t.3u1.jpg) **.jpg!**

yuor devil: I’ll take that as a hello.

steve: h

πthon: hewwo owo *pounces on u* *nuzzles you* owo whats this? notices your cocky wocky—

steve: *waddles up to you*

Jared Leto: Hey Gays What The Fuck?

steve: lemme find the image

**steve sent** [ **waddles** ](https://i.redd.it/jc5om12x8k431.jpg) **.jpg!**

ylvis: You and Futaba had a meme night, didn’t you?

steve: yes

shi a ho: wtf can any of you even read those???

πthon: i can

steve: i absolutely cannot

Jared Leto: A little bit tbh

ylvis: Nope.

yuor devil: Kind of?

pancaek: haha no

finnish line: okay ann is here to save the gay, the first one says “last time i’m gonna tell you, slope intercept is y-mx+b”

finnish line: that second one i  _ know  _ ryuji understands because i sent it to him with a translation and the caption “thinking of u xoxo”

steve: shhhhhhh

Mama_Sakamoto: i log on for once in my life and this is what i see?

shi a ho: miss sakamoto ma’am are you aware that your name can be turned into a meme very quickly

Mama_Sakamoto: howso?

**shi a ho changed Mama_Sakamoto’s nickname to “SakaMotoMoto”!**

finnish line:  _ i like em big _

steve:  _ i like em chunky _

togoparty:  _ I like em large, _

Jared Leto:  _ With somethin somethin _

SakaMotoMoto: … disappointed but not surprised

dog vote: That seems to be the trend here

πthon: WAIT

**πthon changed dog vote’s nickname to “Sakura_Kiss”!**

Sakura_Kiss: I told wakaba to not let you watch that damn show

πthon: when an artery bursts and the blood goes gulguguglgugu

Sakura_Kiss: Futaba i swear to god

ylvis: Oh, she does this all the time.

ylvis: Usually she hasn’t slept in a while when this or the ASMR jokes start.

πthon: dont expose me inari >:(

πthon: anyways it's not gæ if you say no hummus

jessica rabbit: Would you all be interested in hearing about the Taco Bell Hotel?

yuor angle:  _ hm?~ _

jessica rabbit: Rooms sold out in two minutes after they started accepting reservations.

jessica rabbit: In other news, how many people do you think we can cram into one hotel room?

Jared Leto: Omg sae you didnt

jessica rabbit: I think we can get 12 people in there, don’t you?

yuor angle: allow me to pay for the traveling costs!

πthon: as long as we dont get into another car crash im in

steve: HELL YEAH

Jared Leto: I think everyone is down so, nice   
  



	52. happy birthday ryuji!!! (part 1)

**You have (2) new messages from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Hey bby i’m lov u happy birth

Jared Leto: Seriously tho happy birthday and i hope you know how much you mean to me <3

steve: haha i love you too u fuckin nerd

-

**You have (2) new messages from ylvis!**

ylvis: I saw this and thought of you. Happy birthday, my dear.

ylvis:  [ https://youtu.be/LTgdcQebw7o ](https://youtu.be/LTgdcQebw7o)

steve: AW BABE YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME

-

SakaMotoMoto: ryuji!!!!! happy birthday!!!! god, my baby is 20 now, i’m old!

steve: mOOOMMMMMM

finnish line: HAPP BIRTH U WEIRD FLAN

steve: ann i swear you god

πthon: i like flan we’re keeping it, also happy 20th or whatever

steve: awww thanks futaba

shi a ho: hah gaaaayyyyyyy, can’t believe you lived 20 years

finnish line: that’s shiho for “i don’t know how to express this but i care deeply about you and am glad you’re still around, happy birthday”

steve: AWWWWWW SHIHOOOOOO IM CRYING

togoparty: Happy birthday, Ryuji! 

steve: :D thank you

yuor devil: Happy birthday! I’m so proud of how far you’ve come, Ryuji. As a lesbian, I love you so much.

steve: and as someone who’s dating two dudes hell yeah love you too

yuor angle: ryuji!!!! happy birthday i’m so proud of you!!!

steve: aaaa thank you!!!

npc: happy birthday mr steal yo boy

steve: thanks finicky firsts

pancaek: RYUJI MY BOY, MY DADDY ISSUES BUDDY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY

steve: AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH GORO

Jared Leto: Now march your gay ass down to our dorm for obligatory birthday lunch and cuddles

steve: (￣^￣)ゞ 

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: How much longer do yusuke and i need to distract him

SakaMotoMoto: we need at least 15 minutes to finish, probably about 20

Jared Leto: Consider it done, make sure ann doesn’t eat the cake beforehand

-

**You have (1) new message from SakaMotoMoto!**

SakaMotoMoto: ruji!!! can you come to my house? your present is a little bulky for me to carry to your dorm ^^;

steve: awww, mommy, of course!!! thank you for getting me something <3

-

_ “Shit, what am I stepping on?” _

_ “Me, you asshole!” _

_ “Sorry Futaba!” _

_ “Everyone shut up, he’s coming in!” _

**_“SURPRISE!”_ **

-

steve: HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS

pancaek: OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY

yuor devil: We really should have realized after we surprised you that other time…

steve: NONONO IM OKAY I JUST LOVE YOU GUYS

steve: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME AND,,, HHHH

ylvis: But we wanted to!

πthon: ya we love you a lot

finnish line: you jumped off a damn boat for us i like owe you at least 12 lifedebts by now

Jared Leto: You kickstarted the thieves

yuor devil: You ran in front of a car for me.

yuor angle: you punched my cognitive ex-fiancé in the face and that was awesome honestly

pancaek: even after the incident you were kind to me...

steve: OKAY GUYS I GET IT JESUS GIVE ME A SEC IM CRYING A LOT

shi a ho: lmao you’re gonna cry even more when you see your present

πthon: should we bring it out?

togoparty: Let's do it.

steve: is that… holy shit that’s a LOT of manga and— wait

shi a ho: we fouuunnndddd them~

SakaMotoMoto:  _ i  _ found them

finnish line: remember The Greatest Hustle Of All Time? you have like 5 shoeboxes of shit for that

steve: omg how could i  _ not  _ that was the best!!! pokémon was my lifeblood then

Jared Leto: Pls explain The Greatest Hustle Of All Time

steve: okay but get off your damn phone first

-

“Okay, so imagine young me,  _ maybe  _ 11\. Back in the day I was good at Pokémon. The card game one. Problem is… I only had about 5 cards. The shitty ones that nobody else wanted. That’s where Ann and Shiho came in. Shiho has a good eye for business, and she knew a good hustle when she saw one. Ann supplies cards and spies, Shiho arranged matches and bets, I kicked ass and strategized, we split the profit three ways. It was a goldmine. And the more we won, the better cards we could buy. I started puttin’ most of my cut in Mommy’s wallet when she was asleep. Ann, Shiho, and I were barely friends. Well, Ann and Shiho were friends, but they were just coworkers to me.”

“Ryuji oh my god. I literally remember meeting you at like two AM on a school night-”

“ _ When was that? _ ”

“Sorry, miss Sakamoto! Anyways, I’d give you my latest haul and all the while Shiho had given me a list of your matches and their lineup. You brought in a few separate decks, one for each player.”

“Uh, yeah, I needed to be able to counter them! I still remember deck organizations for some of our classmates, I had them written down-”

“In that ragged old notebook you gave me! God, I still have that somewhere… You’d match the names to different decks and give those decks names, so all I had to do was write  _ Water Two Mod C3  _ or something on the list and you’d have a perfect deck. It was weird as hell.”

“You had fun, though. Remember the sunglasses you two would wear out on the schoolyard while my matches were on? Talkin’ all big, like , ‘Get back, Yasuda, things could get messy.’”

“Uh, ‘cause they did! Remember when Yasuda nearly decked you after you won that time?”

“Ann. Babe. Yasuda nearly decked him  _ multiple  _ times.”

“I’m just shocked that I finally know where all that money was coming from.”

“Yeah, a bit before high school started we agreed to shut it down, nobody was really into Pokémon anymore. A sad day for  _ Rushian _ , the premier Pokémon betting team.”

“Oh my god Ryuji, you remember that lameass name?”

“I wish I didn’t.”

-

yuor devil: I’ve literally never heard of a better middle school side business. You even had contracts!

togoparty: And a logo.

yuor angle: this is impressive! i love these income sheets… did you get these online?

steve: yeah, i went down to the library and printed a bunch of sheets to keep track of our budget

steve: i said it was for school lmao the older one looked like she about died from shock

steve: i went to that library  _ specifically  _ for pokémon books and i read them all twice, requested more, then read those. they were so happy to see me do smth for school instead of pokémon

finnish line: lol little did they know

shi a ho:  _ it was pokémon all along _

togoparty: Hmmm… I played Pokémon back in the day, want to see if we’ve still got it? 

steve: yesyesyes

shi a ho: poor togo

finnish line: rip…

togoparty: I just found 1000 yen in my wallet. Should we make this more… Interesting?

steve: oh you’re on. best of three, winner takes all

togoparty: You’re on.

Jared Leto:  _ Holy shit togo do you just carry that around _

togoparty: I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.

steve: weak. ann, underneath my bed in the back corner, code pink is officially in effect

finnish line: oh holy shit you sure

shi a ho:  _ CODE PINK???  _ dude that’s legit

steve: i’ve never been more sure in my life.

SakaMotoMoto: this is so exciting!

-

“Alright, you two! I ant a good, clean Pokémon battle. No punching, no biting, no flicking the coin into your opponent’s eye. If you suspect the other player of cheating, call me over and I will check. Ryuji, are you ready?”

“Duh, Shiho!”

“Perfect. Togo, are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good. Three… Two… One…  _ GO!” _


	53. one true love (ryuji bday part 2)

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Yusuke and i need like. 20 more minutes to get the situation under control back at the dorm as a heads up

togoparty: I don’t know how long I can stall him!

Jared Leto: Just get the others to help as long as they can, this is  _ not  _ going well back here

Jared Leto: Actually tell futaba to head to the bathroom and call me

-

“Akira?”

_ “OH THANK GOD I- Get down! Listen, how long max do we have to keep Ryuji there?” _

_ “5 minutes. He’s started ‘squirrel’-ing.” _

_ “Shit. Sit down! He… Just send Ryuji over, let’s do this.” _

-

steve: thanks for playing rook, we def have to get back to playing someday!!!

togoparty: No problem, Skull.

ylvis: Ryuji, I’m glad to see you so happy. Akira and I ordered in food, want to watch terrible rom-coms?

steve: YES

ylvis: Wonderful!

-

steve: alright who knew that they got me a dog, someone spill the beans

Jared Leto: You get to name him babe

ylvis: You have to choose a name for our new son. Sapphie’s little brother.

steve: hhhh oh my god i’ve always wanted a golden retriever

steve: i mean i kinda gotta name a dog after my one true love

Jared Leto: Babe i’m sobbbign,,,

ylvis: Awwww!

steve: ramen

Jared Leto: Yeah i like that one

ylvis: I think we have to keep it, he looks so happy to hear it!

steve: cutie puppy named ramen- ohhhh that’s the crashing from futaba’s phone

Jared Leto: Yeahhh, he got a bit excited when he met sapphie but they get along pretty well

steve: uh yeah, i sure hope they do

πthon: hey ryuji? yeah your dog is a beautiful baby

steve: :0 yes he is thank you

finnish line:  _ @everyone  _ he has the dog we’re in the clear

togoparty: OH THANK GOD.


	54. it’s almost been a week OOPS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait nyall!!! i was traveling and things got kooky lmao so you know how that is  
> next chapter shouldn’t have as long of a wait tho, so stay tuned!

finnish line: i hate everyone and everything

yuor angle: oh?

finnish line: shiho has a new haircut and frankly she looks so hot

yuor angle: and that’s a problem how

finnish line:  _ the problem is i wanna smooch her fucking face off but i can’t bc we’re in public _

yuor devil: Send pictures?

**finnish line sent haircut.png!**

yuor devil:  _ Oh. _

πthon: ann as your friend i say this, i totally understand

yuor angle: wlw solidarity bc hot damn

togoparty: I have to say, the more I see her the more I understand her Persona being Medusa.

steve: wait THAT’S who it is???

togoparty: Duh! The snake hair, the blindfold, the tail? It totally is Medusa!

Jared Leto: Why medusa tho

finnish line: you uncultured swines let me explain

finnish line: medusa was a priestess of athena’s temple that got r*ped by poseidon. rather than kill her, athena ‘punished’ her by giving her the power to defend herself from any man who dared look at her. her face was used as a marking for women’s shelters in ancient greece

togoparty: Exactly! She was killed by Perseus while pregnant with the twins Pegasus and Chrysaor.

shi a ho: fuckibg  _ thank you _

shi a ho: she says that ann and togo are her favorites

finnish line: hecate says that if she ever needs help killing that asshole hit her up

togoparty: Persephone sends her love.

shi a ho: okay akira is there ANY way our personas can talk without communicating through us because i feel like dusa really wants to meet persephone

Jared Leto: Uh, maybe leaving them in a safe room while we sit off to the side????? idk i haven’t been able to access the velvet room so i can’t ask igor

steve: what really?

ylvis: I thought it would have welcomed you back with open arms.

Jared Leto: Nah, it’s like,,,, ever since your powers got glitchy i feel that pull and it’s all hazy but i get stuck halfway there

pancaek: okay that’s weird, i’ve been in there once or twice and the blonde one thinks you’re dead

Jared Leto: LAVENZA???? OH MY GOD LAVENZA IS SHE OKAY

pancaek: yeah, she’s fine! a bit disoriented, but fine. 

Jared Leto: Thank god i was so fucking worried about her

Jared Leto: Can you please please PLEASE try to go back and tell her that i’m okay

pancaek: i mean of course, absolutely!!! yknow what? i’ll see if i can make my way there tonight.

Jared Leto: I could kiss you right now tbh 

pancaek: lol no thanks

Jared Leto: Fair and understandable i respect that

ylvis: Hear me out, delegate your kiss from Akira to Ryuji and I.

pancaek: done and done

Jared Leto: I mean i’m down to offer the Kiss Pass to the bfs

steve: hell yeah let me at that

ylvis: I AM SPRINTING.

npc: wow gross

pancaek: you say it’s gross cause you’re lonely

npc: yes and? still gross

shi a ho: ha nerd

πthon: GAYS HELP HOW TO INTERACT WITH FRIEND IRL

Jared Leto: ?

πthon: okayokayokay over the past few days kana and i have been making plans to hang out and hhhh were going to a store and we’re gonna try on!!! clothes!!!!

finnish line: MY TIME HAS COME

finnish line: ok bb first thing is how do they make YOU feel when you wear them like what’s your style

πthon: i mean i like shorts but i’ve been wanting to have a dress for funsies and all

finnish line: ideal dress go

πthon: tbh i’m not sure

finnish line: then screw around and have fun with it!!

Jared Leto: Love this discussion but quick q who the  _ fuck  _ ordered thigh highs under my name and sent them to my dorm

npc: that was me, Back On My Bullshit

Jared Leto: Haha jokes on you i’m keeping them bc i look rly hot

npc: Wait No

steve: oh no

ylvis: What have you done?

npc: I SWEAR I DIDNT THINK OF THIS OUTCOME

steve: how could u not it’s akira

Jared Leto: :3 i look good as hell someone take me on a date

ylvis: Hm…

steve: free food and i’m in

Jared Leto: done and done lemme do some quick makeup and we’ll go

npc: can i crash to see how this looks

ylvis: No.

steve: i’ll send pics tho

Jared Leto: <3

yuor devil: Here we go.

-

Jared Leto: Hot damn i look fine

yuor angle: oh?

Jared Leto: Fam i didn’t realize that these boots worked so well w my outfit until now

steve: currently dying brb

ylvis: Same.

pancaek: oh boy

togoparty: This isn’t going to end well for those guys, is it?

finnish line: they die in exactly 5 minutes

shi a ho: why 5?

finnish line: because that’s how long it takes akira to get the perfect lighting for a pic

**Jared Leto sent lookoftheday.png!**

pancaek: HYUCK

npc: FUCK

steve: that’s my boyfriend right there

ylvis: God, he’s beautiful.

πthon: akira your eyeliner

Jared Leto: Good catch thanks

yuor devil: Impressive. You managed to wear something other than a grungy t-shirt and jeans.

Jared Leto: heck u mom i’m in college

yuor devil: So am I, and I at least manage to look presentable every day.

npc: OH SHIT

yuor angle: shots fired!!!

togoparty: RIP Akira. Gone but not forgotten.

pancaek: nobody survives makoto

Jared Leto: Can i get an f for me

steve: eff

ylvis: F.

πthon: f because you buy me things

grounded: F because you help at leblanc for free

SakaMotoMoto: f because you’re dating my son

Jared Leto: WOW none of you are valid except ryuji’s mom


	55. it’s h e r m s t d v e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to my friend bird for *microwave noise*’s username  
> spoilers for late game but tbh if you’re here you’re done for famalam

steve: ramen is so dumb i love him

pancaek: cute BUT akira

Jared Leto: Hm

pancaek: lavenza says hi

Jared Leto:  _ Hm _

Jared Leto: IS SHE OKAY WHATRHEFCUK

pancaek: she doesn’t believe me so uh haru

yuor angle: yeah?

pancaek: do you have an old phone that lavenza could use to get in touch with us

yuor angle: !!!! of course! :D

pancaek: great coolcoolcool so if i pick it up today i should be able to give it to her tomorrow if that’s okay?

yuor angle: already have it ready!

pancaek: thanks, <3 u

-

**pancaek added leavenza.me.alone to “anxiety gays”!**

leavenza.me.alone: Is Akira Kurusu here?

Jared Leto: The man the myth the legend

leavenza.me.alone: AKIRA! Oh, I- we- UGH! I was so worried!

Jared Leto: Still having trouble with “i vs we”???

leavenza.me.alone: YES! I was two people, for like, a while! That screws you up!

shi a ho: i almost want to know, if you’re okay telling us? lavenza, right?

leavenza.me.alone: Uh, sure! Thank you so much for asking if it was okay! Basically, for a while, I was twins. Caroline and Justine. Long story short, fake Igor, I was refused into my true self, happy funtimes. Now I have issues with “I vs. We”.

npc: rip, pressing f for you

yuor devil: Except after c?

finnish line: rudhdhhs makoto that joke only works in english

leavenza.me.alone: Anyways, you all are fellow Phantom Thieves? I remember you, but only just.

togoparty: There are three new additions.

npc: hey say it

shi a ho: sayyyy ittttt

togoparty: … Three new additions to the MetaSquad.

leavenza.me.alone: Impressive. Akira, I hear that you cannot enter the Velvet Room?

Jared Leto: Ya

leavenza.me.alone: I’ll try to figure this out from my end. Glad to see that you’re alive.

-

πthon: hey i forgot my lunch at home

yuor devil: I’ve got it.

leavenza.me.alone: “Lunch”?

yuor angle: it’s a meal you have in the middle of the day!

leavenza.me.alone: … What’s a meal?

Jared Leto: Yknow how i always talked about being hungry and food

leavenza.me.alone: I do!

Jared Leto: Well humans need to eat food to survive, and a lot of us divide that eating up into meals so it’s easier! Do you get it so far

leavenza.me.alone: I get it.

Jared Leto: Well lunch is a meal that people in school have  _ at _ school, and a lot of people bring their lunches from home

leavenza.me.alone: Ohhhhh. I get it now!

πthon: i’m so proud of u lavenza, also makoto just rolled up on her motorcycle in shades and a leather jacket and tossed me my lunch am i cool now

yuor devil: Depends. Did you catch it?

πthon: yep!!!

yuor devil: Then you’re cool now.

πthon: finally


	56. allergies B I N C H

**πthon sent lonchmonch.png!**

yuor devil: What the fuck. Is that seriously your lunch?

πthon: lmao ya, thanks for bringing it to me

ylvis: Peanut butter and a spoon again?

πthon: you know it bb

leavenza.me.alone: I’m going to assume that that isn’t a normal lunch, then?

steve: no, peanut butter straight out of the jar isn’t normal at all

πthon: mmmmm protein

Jared Leto: Creamy or chunky

πthon: crunchy you absolute  _ heathen  _

Jared Leto: FUCK YOU CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER IS VALID

yuor angle: i’ve actually never had peanut butter before!

pancaek: oh yeahhh, you’re allergic

steve: haru is  **_what_ **

yuor angle: yep!!! i have a severe nut allergy, that’s why nothing in any of the okumura corporation’s food contains nuts!

πthon: oh shit, is it okay to eat peanut butter in the same room or is that Bad

yuor angle: it’s fine, just let me know beforehand so i can put on a mask to be safe!! goro knows where i keep my epipen, so you can always ask him

Jared Leto: Oh shit i’ve almost fed you peanut stuff so many times i’m so sorry haru

yuor angle: it’s okay, you didn’t know! i never went into anaphylactic shock, so we’re fine!! just don’t do it in the future <3

npc: oh hey me too, how bad is yours?

yuor angle: my throat closes up and i get super puffy, and sometimes i get hives, you?

npc:  _ yikes _ , i just get hives but i’m lactose intolerant too so i guess god just hates me or smth

Jared Leto:  _ Mishima we have gone out for ice cream before _

Jared Leto:  _ I’ve seen you drink 3 milkshakes in a row wtf _

npc: lmao that was hell but #worthit

npc: if you think anything can keep me away from that delicious dairy you are sorely fucking mistaken

togoparty: I actually have a shellfish allergy! My epipen is always in my front left jacket pocket, sometimes on higher risk days I tie it onto my zipper.

steve: y’all effed up

ylvis: If I recall, you have a minor dog allergy, Ryuji.

steve: SHUT UP I LOVE MY BABIES IT’S WORTH IT TO HAVE WATERY EYES WHEN IM ALREADY CRYING CAUSE I LOVE THEM

Jared Leto: Our dorm is literally just ryuji crying over dogs

πthon: don’t feel bad ryuji i’m allergic to one of the more common medicines

steve: ???

πthon: amoxicillin binch, they had to find an alternate when i had strep lmao

yuor devil: Rip.

πthon: oh i finished my butter

yuor devil: YOU WHAT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? projecting my allergy onto futaba? it’s more likely than you think


	57. can you find this shirt anywhere else?

Jared Leto:  _ @πthon  _ dont let morgana look at your phone until i say so lmao

πthon: okay what’s up

ylvis: We were our shopping for dog food and we found something.

steve: a laser pointer

πthon: OHMYGOD YES I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING

pancaek: i love this plan

finnish line:  _ payback motherfucker _

yuor devil: I’m totally in, but payback for what?

finnish line: oh the _things_ i’ve heard from that cat’s mouth

yuor angle: i want to see this so badly

npc: I’m so in.

shi a ho: okay hear me out if this works we get drunk as hell and use the laser pointer to drive morgana in mementos

togoparty: I’m down to clown til I’m in the ground.

Jared Leto: Sounds good let me just

Jared Leto: The store was so crowded today you guys :(

steve: it was an effin nightmare

ylvis: I need to hit something.

shi a ho: maybe we should head to mementos so you can all calm down?

finnish line: love this plan

Jared Leto: Futaba get morgana and let him know we’re headed to mementos

πthon: oh it!

-

 

steve: OHMYEFFINGOD

Jared Leto: I’M CRYIGN WHHAT THE FKUC

ylvis: I CAN’T BREAAATHE, OH MY GOD.

pancaek: best day of my life hands down

togoparty: You know what this means!

yuor angle: party in mementos tomorrow night! i’ll supply!

yuor devil: Why not? Let’s do it.

steve: yo i can be dd

πthon: so can i

Jared Leto: Pefect but that does entail sitting on top of the monabus and waving around a laser pointer

πthon: I CALL DRIVING THEN

steve: rad i can keep y’all from getting smashed

Jared Leto: Aww thanks babe

jessica rabbit: Update us later.

-

Jared Leto: SO WHAT I WFANT TO SAY IES THAYT I VAM LOOKING FOR YA SHIRRT

Jared Leto: THE AUSTHOR NVEEDS TO ONKKW IF YIT EXISTS ANYWHERTE ELSE IN THE WORDLD

**Jared Leto sent** [ **legsohot** ](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9dd64efce456bf753fed30a6a4253d94/tumblr_purlttZdLu1xtxv67o1_540.jpg) **.jpg!**

steve: actually thats a cool shirt hjdshksdhkjhds--

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know your mission, my friends. go forth if you would like.


	58. makoto's fucking bonkers pain tolerance

Jared Leto: God i forgot how great it was to watch panther trip over her own tail

shi a ho: dO YOU GUYS JUST CASUALLY FALL OFF CLIFFS OR

npc: YEAH BECAUSE ANN JUST SORT OF “oh son of a bitch” as she fell

finnish line: panther is  _ much  _ more used to injury than ann

npc: ?

πthon: aight so our code names? the longer you do pt shit the more they become separate people from us

πthon: like, have you seen akira in the metaverse??? totally different dude

togoparty: He's a showoff.

Jared Leto: AM NOT

ylvis: Hon. You backflip onto Shadows.

steve: you jumped out of a stained glass window at a casino

Jared Leto: F a i r

Jared Leto: But anyways can we talk about that fucking rad team attack from shiho and yuuki??

finnish line:  _ yes please that was so fucking hot _

npc: i know you’re talking about shiho but thanks anyways

shi a ho: babe!!!!!! id fall off of a cliff 4 u <3

finnish line: awww thanks hon!!! pls dont it hurts like a motherfucker

steve: honesty someone in the original squad could get irl stabbed and wouldn’t even notice

πthon: i know for a fact that makoto has been punched directly in the face and didnt even flinch

yuor angle: i remember that!!!!  _ @yuor devil  _ tell them about the sugimura incident!

yuor devil: It wasn’t a big deal!

pancaek: you took a punch to the face and didn’t even react makoto that’s pretty cool

yuor devil: If “didn’t react” means “I drop-kicked him out of Haru’s house”, then yes!

jessica rabbit: Makoto already has a crazy high pain tolerance, I’m not surprised. She’s only complained about pain to me twice. Once was when she literally sprouted horns, and the other time was when she had cramps from the depths of Hell.

yuor devil: It runs in the family. I remember that you have an absolutely insane immune system. Sis has only gotten really sick about three times in her life, and she  _ still  _ pushed through the day.

πthon: wtf yallre literally goddesses or smth???

yuor angle: futaba, didn’t you know that all women are queens?

pancaek: IF SHE BREATHES, SHE’S A THOT


	59. *sleep deprived voice* i’m gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MY BEST FRIEND WHO WAS BORN ON THE DAY OF JULY 21ST THATS RIGHT ITS HIS BIRTHDAY  
> I LOVE YOU YOU ABSOLUTE FOTHERMUCKER HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY <3

Jared Leto: I’m gay

ylvis: That’s very interesting, dear.

steve: ya we know

Jared Leto: No like i’m really gay you guys

ylvis: How long have you been awake?

Jared Leto: About 2 and a half days why

steve: bruh you get so fuckin delirious when you hit 48

steve: you have two whole boyfriends. you came out to us via crying in mementos about two years ago.

Jared Leto: I did????

ylvis: Yes, you did.

Jared Leto: WOAH DUDE

Jared Leto: I have two boyfriends???? Holy shit wow

ylvis: Would you like those boyfriends to come over?

steve: shit dude did i accidentally leave you alone??? damn i knew i should’ve brought you to my mom’s

Jared Leto: No big deal fam

Jared Leto: Ive just been watching shitty soap operas and documentaries for a while now

steve: i’m on my way back home rn

Jared Leto: Awww <3 i’m lov u

ylvis: Love you too, gumdrop.

-

SakaMotoMoto: wair ryuji wasn’t joking?! oh, hon, i’m so sorry!

steve: shhhhh we just got him to sleep and yusuke is muting his phone rn

πthon: oh shit, y’all could’ve let me know that ryuji was staying with his mom!!! i totally would’ve stayed over with akira

ylvis: It’s fine, Futaba. He needs physical contact to feel safe enough to sleep anyways.

πthon: you act like having so many sleepovers with my pseudo-brother hasn’t made me immune to helping him fall asleep

pancaek: lmao are you two making him a sandwich rn???

steve: yes it’s a cutie sandwich and we are the bread

ylvis: Squish the boyfriend.

shi a ho:  _ @finnish line  _ we could be like that but you playin

finnish line: we could be like that but you traumatized

shi a ho: u right u right

npc: gross nasty couples all of you

yuor devil: Hey! What about Haru and I?

yuor angle: no, we’re pretty sappy dear

yuor devil: We’re  _ married _ , though! We have an excuse!

finnish line: ah commitment, so beautiful


	60. kool aid snout

finnish line: fellas can one of you tell shiho and goro to stop being so chaotic

Jared Leto: Lmao why

pancaek: IM GONNA DRINK KOOL AID VIA MY NOSE AND YOU CANT STOP ME

shi a ho: IM MAKING IT RN GORO

yuor angle: what on earth???

finnish line: they’re betting on who can finish a glass of kool aid through their nose first

jessica rabbit: Get video!

πthon: pls do this is gonna be amazing, what flavor

shi a ho: fruit punch

πthon: good idea, never use blue raspberry

pancaek: What Have You Seen

πthon: i may have accidentally stained my nose and mucus for a week via kool aid

yuor devil: I know I can’t stop you, so you get to explain it to the emergency room.

ylvis: Actually, I don’t think it’ll hurt too badly to drink through your nose. Uncomfortable, though. I’ve done it before.

steve: you drank pepsi through your nose and cried yusuke

ylvis: Worth it.

Jared Leto: PSA do not drink things through your nose, it hurts and we’re idiots and it probably has negative effects on your health

pancaek: *i nod as i snort my kool aid*

shi a ho: whoever sneezes first loses

finnish line: our couch is white shiho

pancaek: i have a towel dw

Jared Leto: CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG

yuor angle: go goro go goro!

npc: YOU CAN DO THIS SHIHO COME ON

shi a ho: VICTORYYYYYYY

pancaek: rip

finnish line: WTF YALL LOOK LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF THE PURGE IT’S L E A K I N G

shi a ho: goro pass the towel

pancaek: 1 sec

finnish line: ,,,, i’m burning that towel you both are Awful

shi a ho: sorry we’re chaotic gay

pancaek: very chaotic

npc: you two are my heroes tbh

shi a ho: cool cool cool kool aid is kind of leaking from my ducts so Gotta Blast

Jared Leto: Djsjhsgshshs f

steve: big oof

SakaMotoMoto: why god

πthon: we’re gay maam

jessica rabbit: What the actual fuck.

togoparty: I hate all of you except Ryuji’s mom.

yuor angle: valid! i crown shiho koolaid queen

**shi a ho changed shi a ho’s nickname to “koolaid queen”!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psa legit don’t do that it isn’t worth it


	61. sugar wasted

πthon: YO INARI U DINGUS PLAY MINECRAFT WITH ME

ylvis: I would but Sapphie seems to have nuzzled her way into my heart and also under my arm and I can’t move.

Jared Leto: Hes sapphie’s favorite and i’m salty every day about it

steve: it’s ridiculous, ramen likes him best too

πthon: he spoils them when you aren’t around—

ylvis: FUTABA! That was a  _ secret! _

Jared Leto: I KNEW IT

steve: makes sense

pancaek: lmao he’s so fuckin careful abt the treats he gives

Jared Leto: in other news i just bought an extra large strawberry diet coke so it’s time to get sugar wasted

pancaek: akira no

steve: not again

finnish line: fucking dammit

ylvis: Here we go again.

πthon: haru, camera

yuor angle: on it!!!

yuor devil: I‘ll get the everything else.  _ @everyone  _ Mementos tonight, Akira is getting sugar wasted.

npc: oh god

shi a ho: the legends are true,,,

togoparty: WTF.

npc: you’ll see

-

togoparty: He really shouldn’t have been surfing on top of the car.

steve: i’m calling tae rn, dw

npc: concussion?

Jared Leto: Nope!!!! The mementos road has spiky bits, i’m gonna have a huge fuckin scar on my arm for a while but i think it’s cool

yuor devil: … Ann.

finnish line: ya?

yuor devil: You have class in 10 minutes

finnish line: WHAT

yuor devil: Go, go, go!

finnish line: I HAVENT SHOWERED OR DONE MY MAKEUP SHOWERS TAKE AN HOUR ALONE

yuor devil: THEN GO WITHOUT!  _ RUN! _

finnish line: SPRINKTING

steve: i love our friends


	62. personal matters

dog vote: Futaba has been listening to the same song for three hours, please help

ylvis: What song?

dog vote: Uh, it sounds like some anime song but then it turns into a bunch of other ones

ylvis: Is this it?  [ https://soundcloud.com/tmabird/everybodys-circulation ](https://soundcloud.com/tmabird/everybodys-circulation)

dog vote: Yeah that’s it

Jared Leto: She’s probably working then

dog vote: For three hours???

Jared Leto: You underestimate her power sojiro

ylvis: She sleeps less than me. And that’s saying something.

finnish line: her work ethic is fucking insane

yuor devil: If she’s been playing the song for three hours, in about 15 minutes you should probably set a sandwich outside her door or she’ll forget to eat. She’s either working or having an emotional crisis.

πthon: shut up you guys im just plain busy okay

yuor angle: ohhhh dear

pancaek: okay, i think for once both sojiro and i are confused

dog vote: I have no clue on how i didn’t pick up on this

Jared Leto: She said that she’s “just plain busy”, she’s having a crisis

dog vote: WHAT?!

steve: futaba, it’ll be okay

πthon: i’m  _ fine  _ okay?! 

ylvis: Futaba, what are you doing at this exact moment, out of curiosity?

πthon: homework, this stuff is just harder than usual

ylvis: Ah, okay. She is just busy, false alarm.

dog vote: That makes sense actually, i’ll bring up a sandwich soon

πthon: thanks sojiro

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Why did you lie

ylvis: I don’t know what you mean.

Jared Leto: Futaba is upset, and you lied to sojiro, why

ylvis: What do you mean?

Jared Leto: Yusuke, i know that you know what’s going on

ylvis: I… She’ll get mad if I tell you.

Jared Leto: It’s pretty personal then

ylvis: Yes. She’ll tell everyone when  _ she’s _ ready.

Jared Leto: I understand, was just worried, i’ll stave off everyone else

-

**You have (1) new message from πthon!**

πthon: hey, thanks

ylvis: It’s no problem. Are you feeling any better?

πthon: nn

ylvis: It’s okay. Should I come over?

πthon: mhm

ylvis: Alright. I’ll be there soon.


	63. base64 and hidden names

“The data… It just doesn’t make sense, Inari. Our powers are being funky here and there, but nothing  _ this  _ full-on. And then… I want you to look at this.” Futaba rolled her chair a bit to the side so Yusuke could lean in as she pressed Play on the audio file.

“Hmm… I’m not a programming man, Baba. I don’t know what this means.” Futaba whirled around and shoved a piece of paper in his hands.

“I didn’t either. It just seemed like a bunch of random stupid noise. But then I turned that audio into text. And what came out was those letters and numbers. Does it look familiar to you?” Yusuke took a long look at it before realization dawned in his eyes.

“That looks like Base64. Is it?” Futaba nodded.

“Now, when I brought it out of Base64, it was super distorted. But eventually, with a bit of tinkering, I think I got the message. Read it.”

_ Hello? My name is ▓▓▓▓▓▓. I am a first year student at Shujin Academy in the year 2016. Something seems to be going wrong. I am a Phantom Thief, but my Persona seems... out of sorts, as of late. I am recording this log to keep note of these findings. ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ seems to be rebelling against me so far. I don't like the idea that I can't control it anymore. It's been happening to the others, too. Their conditions have deteriorated over time. Mine has yet to. If someone other than me sees this, something has gone horribly wrong. _

Yusuke rubbed his eyes before reading it again.

“That name… I can’t read it.” Futaba took the paper back, grim-faced.

“Neither can I. What was the last time reading a name felt that way?” Yusuke understood almost immediately.

“Well, this says that they’re a first-year. So we know it isn’t Akira. But then, who…?” Futaba shook her head violently.

“Worry about that later, look at what they said!” Yusuke went bone pale.

“Oh. That’s… Exactly what’s been happening to us, isn’t it?” 

“Down to the letter. This is not good. We… We gotta wait to tell the others. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to wheedle out a few more of these logs, but it’ll take a  _ lot  _ of Red Bull.”

-

Jared Leto: Yusukeeeeeeeeeee, you okay?? You seem off :(

ylvis: I’m fine, Akira.

steve: fine my ass

ylvis: … You caught me. I think I’m coming down with something is all.

Jared Leto: Ohhh, makes sense

steve: ya, it is getting into flu season soon

πthon: he may have caught it from me, i was sick a week or two back

πthon: sorry inari :P

ylvis: Betrayal!


	64. press play

_ “Inariinariinariinari!”  _ Yusuke groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“Baba, can’t it wait? I was sleeping…” He heard her clicking through the phone.

_ “Oh, it definitely can’t. Guess what I found! Come on, guess, guess, guess!”  _ Yusuke’s eyes went wide and he slowly walked to the bathroom and shut the door, as to not wake Goro through the wall.

“Did you find another note?”

_ “Yep! I’m decoding it right now, pick me up from Shujin tomorrow. I’ll tell you on the way home.” _

“My home, or your home?”

_ “We practically live together, but… Your home. I’ve got all the stuff on a flash drive.” _

“Sounds good. See you tomorrow.”

-

πthon: i love the sound of computer errors in the morning~

Jared Leto: ?

πthon: lmaooo i got yusukes laptop to error out earlier today and play never gonna give you up

ylvis: Fuck you.

πthon: hey man you wouldnt let me use it for the research project i had to go back home and grab *my* laptop and then do stuff

ylvis: I wouldn’t trust you with my light switch, much less my laptop.

Jared Leto: Reasearch project owo???

πthon: just smth for school, kawakami said we had to get a lab partner that wasnt from shujin, u were probs “dead” when it happened for your class

ylvis: Yes, I was quite happy to receive the offer.

πthon: :P then ud let me use ur laptop

ylvis:  _ Nope. _

-

“Okay, Inari, I need you to take this and run it through my translator program. I’ll dig up more on my phone.” Yusuke nodded and started running the audio files through her translator, quickly formatting the messages into Japanese.

“Anything new?” Futaba shook her head.

“Nah, just some old ones and some of the shorter ones. It’s a miracle that I even have access to the stuff I do. Hang on.” Futaba typed furiously, and a new notification popped up on her laptop.

“That’s a new one, Inari. Run it through, it may be a longer one.” Yusuke obliged, but got nothing from the Base64.

“I think this one is a direct audio file, Baba. Should we listen?” Futaba scrambled out of her chair and over to Yusuke.

“Uh,  _ duh! _ ” Yusuke pressed play.

-

“Can you still hear me?”  _ A rustling could be heard in the background as the person speaks. _

“I know you could hear me before. I made them for you. I don’t know who’s listening with you, but… Hi. We had an Akira before. Well, he was Ren to us. He left a long time ago. Ever since then, our Personas have been freaking out. The others…”  _ You hear banging and screeching. It sounds suspiciously human. The crackle of flames, however, does not sound human in the slightest. _

“It hasn’t been so kind to them. I’m the last one that has any modicum of control. Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto… Everyone. They’re all gone. I keep them around, because I don’t know how to help them but I need to. ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ refuses to listen to me. I barely feel her anymore. I’m wondering if I can make her come back. Please, try to respond. I know you can find a way. You’re smart, Futaba. Oh, dear, Morgana has gotten loose again. I have to go.”  _ You hear loud hissing and the sweet voice begging the cat to calm down before the microphone shuts off. _

-

“Okay, that’s not good.” Yusuke stared incredulously at Futaba.

“You think? We’ve only gone insane in at least one other reality, probably more, because of what’s happening to us right now!” Futaba placed a hand over Yusuke’s mouth.

“Shhhh. One thing at a time. Let’s try to figure out how to respond.”


	65. h

yuor angle: im dyignn omg

πthon: ?

yuor angle: mako doesnt fit her leather jacket anymore because  _ her biceps are too big _

yuor devil: Haru! (///)

yuor angle: i’m sorry bug! i’m just very gay

Jared Leto: Owo pics?

yuor angle: one second!

steve: oh no

**yuor angle sent flex.jpg!**

steve:  _ oh no _

koolaid queen: h

finnish line:  _ h _

yuor angle: i know right

ylvis: Sweet mother of mercy.

npc: hhhhhh makoto could kill me in a single punch and i’d pay her

togoparty: Makoto could pulverize my bones and I’d say thank you.

koolaid queen: makoto could beat 10 whole minecraft withers unarmed without losing half a heart

yuor angle: tbh step on me

yuor devil: You guys!! Seriously, this is embarrassing…

leavenza.me.alone: What does ‘step on me’ mean?

Jared Leto: It means that she thinks that makoto is exceptionally good-looking

leavenza.me.alone: Why not just say that?

πthon: because we’re Extra™™™™™™™ 

leavenza.me.alone: I’m so confused.

pancaek: you have wifi right???

leavenza.me.alone: Yes?

pancaek: i’ll dm you some links to help you understand these whackjobs

Jared Leto: BOI,

steve: i just watched haru buy a dress that was over 10500 yen and my life flashed before my eyes

yuor angle: that really isn’t much!!

jessica rabbit: Not much?!

SakaMotoMoto: that’s enough for two weeks of groceries!!!

steve: or like 20 shirts!

ylvis: That’s so much food money…

yuor angle: it’s just 10500 yen! it really is on the cheap end…

steve: haru what do you think is cheap

yuor angle: mmm, i’d say about 10000 yen!

ylvis: That’s so much food…

steve: haru im boutta blow ur effin mind

steve: none of my shirts cost more than 530 yen

yuor angle:  _ what?! _

npc: my clothes shopping budget is 4300 yen on a good day

Jared Leto: Haru do you know how to budget

yuor angle: no not really!

ylvis: I think I’m going to faint.

jessica rabbit: What the actual fuck.

πthon: haru how are you *alive*

yuor angle: … i think i should take some budgeting classes!

ylvis: Good idea.


	66. I am thou, thou shall shut the hell up

πthon: hey someone??? hey hey someone???? can one of you hide my keyboard from me

ylvis: Oh no.

Jared Leto: Why are you about to go feral

πthon: because fucking

πthon: rgrgrgrggghghhhhh

Jared Leto: Oh

Jared Leto: Sorry tabby but im not getting anywhere near you when youre like this

ylvis: I’ll do it.

pancaek: wait, what??

Jared Leto: When she gets like this she starts looking for a fight

πthon: speaking of which TAKE ME ON INARI ONE ON ONE LETS GO

ylvis: Futaba I’d kill you.

πthon: COME ON LETS GO FUCKING FIGHT ME

ylvis: You’d actually die.

Jared Leto: Should i send shinya over to play splatoon or smth with her

πthon: ILL FUCKEN DESTROY HIM LETS GO

pancaek: i fear for my life please do not hurt the child

ylvis: I’ll monitor.

Jared Leto: Sending him over now

-

πthon: HES SO FUCKING LITTLE

Jared Leto: Hes in middle school now you goofus

πthon: I KNOW BUT HES SO BABY I WANNA HUG HIM

Jared Leto: Noooonono don’t do that he doesnt like hugs

πthon: FINE IM GONNA FIST BUMP HIM

ylvis: Futaba has started chanting “squad squad squad squad” at him.

ylvis: He’s chanting back.

leavenza.me.alone: I am thou, thou art I... Thou hast acquired a new vow. It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh thy chains of captivity. With the birth of the Tower Confidant, I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power…

Jared Leto: Oh fuck not that again

pancaek: okay this is one wild card thing im lost on

leavenza.me.alone: Back when the Wild Card was an inmate rather than a friend, we would often say that speech when he obtained a new Persona or Confidant.

Jared Leto: Often?!?!! You said it every damn time i made a friend

leavenza.me.alone: Oops! (•̀⌄•́)

Jared Leto: If you start doing that with my friends I swear to yadowhatever i will turn you into caroline and justine again do not test me

leavenza.me.alone: You cannot enter our domain, Wild Card.

Jared Leto: I’m not the only wild card fam

pancaek: h-hewwo??? is this my cue??? owo

leavenza.me.alone: Oh, right. Him.

pancaek: hey whats that supposed to mean!!

leavenza.me.alone: Your Wild Card abilities simply aren’t as powerful as the Trickster’s. That is all.

Jared Leto: Hey wait i have a potentially weird question

leavenza.me.alone: ?

Jared Leto: If i could fuse you like i can personas does that mean youre technically personas?

leavenza.me.alone: Call me a Persona again and you’ll be back to being an inmate.

Jared Leto: Nvm i do *not* miss the sticks you guys had bc OUCH

finnish line: okay what

Jared Leto: If my hands were out of the cell i became caroline’s own personal game of whack-a-mole

leavenza.me.alone: I remember when we hit you across the nose so hard you were bruised for two weeks!

Jared Leto: Bye bye little butterfly 凸(Ò Д Ó)凸

leavenza.me.alone: Hey, that was entirely on Caroline!

Jared Leto: You  _ are  _ caroline

leavenza.me.alone: And Justine! At least she was nice to you!

Jared Leto: Condescending is a bit closer

finnish line: yo what the fuck

pancaek: ohhhh i have it so much better than you did

Jared Leto: You think?????

pancaek: like i get a beanbag chair and shit

Jared Leto: A BEANBAG CHAIR>???? LAVENZA!

leavenza.me.alone: It was Master’s idea!

Jared Leto: Ohhhh when i get back there i swear

leavenza.me.alone: … I shall inform Master of your desire for a beanbag chair.

Jared Leto: Not like i’ll be able to use it anyways,,, :(

leavenza.me.alone: I promise that we are working on a way to reconnect you with the Velvet Room. It just is harder than we originally thought.

Jared Leto: Futaba???

πthon: already on it leader

ylvis: Maybe you should give her a break, she’s working hard enough as-is…

πthon: don’t worry inari, i’ve got this

pancaek: at least let me get some of the workload or smth

πthon: NO. this is  _ my  _ project, and if other people do it i dont know if theyre gonna do it right

steve: uhhh goro she gets touchy abt other people touching her stuff, if she’s claimed the project theres really nothing we can do

pancaek: alright… just tell me if you need any help, or a research partner

πthon: i’ve got both, btw inari get the kid out i think i found some stuff

ylvis: Alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well kids, we're in the home stretch :^)


	67. reset

“Okay, so what do you think this means?” Futaba showed Yusuke a blurry image, looking for the artist’s input.

“Hm. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s a poor rendition of Salvador Dali’s  _ The Persistence of Memory _ . Take a look at how the screens are melting.”

“Yeah, but why would they only be showing a reset button?”  
“Hm… _The Persistence Of Memory_ … I’m not sure, I’d need more clues.”

“Well, I’ll see if I can get the message out there.”

“Thank you.”

-

πthon: yo haru i need your help with smth

yuor angle: hm?

πthon: how good are you with flower language and identifying flowers

yuor angle: pretty good, why?

πthon: great, for no specific reason i need you to come over

-

“Haru, what on earth does this bouquet mean?”

“This is a  _ picture  _ of a bouquet. But I do see a lot of daffodils, and those are used to mean rebirth. Then there’s hydrangeas, which also can mean renewal. All in all, this bouquet means rebirth. Why?”

“... Do you know synonyms for rebirth?”

“Mmmm… Generally it’s a new beginning, like a reset.”

“And we’re back to reset. Thanks, Haru!”

-

πthon: persistence of memory, reset,,,, hm. ryuji, can you come look at something for me?

-

“Which game is this reset button from?”

“Uhhh, looks to me like The Stanley Parable.”

“Why do I know that name?”

“It’s this game about doin’ stuff over and over again in an endless path. There are a bunch of secret endings and stuff. But you’ve gotta reset to get them.”

“Of fricking course it’s reset again. Well, thanks, Ryuji.”

-

πthon: yo ann

finnish line: guessing by the last string of messages, i’ll be over in a minute or two

-

“Do you know what this means?”

“Hm. Well, it says  _ ei ou kukkaan seppä syntyissään _ . Now, that translates to no one is a blacksmith when they are born. So, like… Ah…”

“Live and learn?”

“Yeah! Exactly. My dad would always say it when I fell out of modeling for a while before going back in. It was crazy, like all of my skills reset or something.”

_ “UGH!” _

-

πthon: if i hear reset one more time today im gonna barf

ylvis: Not going well?

πthon: kill. me.

πthon: oh yeah speaking of which yo makoto

yuor devil: En route.

-

“What’s a mistrial?”

“Okay, how do I explain this in Futaba terms? Hm… I’ve got it! Imagine an Ace Attorney game. It turns out that Phoenix Wright made a huge, fundamental mistake in the trial. Do you follow so far?”

“Yeah!”

“They have to start over, with a whole new jury.”

“So, like a reset?”

“Exactly! Why are you making that face?”

“If you let me drink wine today I will do whatever you want in your files for the next month.”

-

πthon: so turns out makoto isnt cool at all :/

πthon: reset reset reset i need to fucking hard reset my brain fucking kill me

πthon: omg wait thats it

πthon: GORO,  I NEED YOU OVER HERE NOW I HAVE AN IDEA!!

-

“What’s up, Futaba?”

“Okay, take a look at this.”  
“This looks like one of those lunatic theory corkboards.”

“Yeah, but if  _ anyone  _ can get something out of it, it’ll be you.”

“Well, the main thing I’m noticing is reset.”

“Obviously.”

“Well, a reset is starting over. Back to square one.”

“Oh, I think I know what you mean!”

“If Akira leaves…”

“We reset.”

-

πthon: YES YES YES GORO AKECHI YOU MAD LAD HELL YEAH

ylvis: You figured it out?!

πthon: AND WITH TIME TO SPARE BEFORE THE NEXT MESSAGE!

pancaek: you can say it, i’m a genius

πthon: YES YOU FUCKING ARE!!!!!

koolaid queen: well someone’s in a good mood

πthon: YOU HAVE NO  _ IDEA  _ HOW GOOD OF A MOOD I’M IN

finnish line: i have no idea what you’re so excited about but let’s all have a celebratory party, my treat!

Jared Leto: OwO where im in

finnish line: my parents are out and i still have the key to their house >:3

yuor devil: Are you suggesting…?

finnish line:  _ let’s wreck this joint _

πthon: im down to clown lets do it

togoparty: Hell yeah.

npc: its real party hours

steve: oh helllllll yes im in

jessica rabbit: Am I invited?

yuor angle: depends. are u gonna  _ snitch _

jessica rabbit: No way.

yuor angle: then lets party til we’re purple!

SakaMotoMoto: you crazy kids have fun!

Sakura_Kiss: Please dont die

Jared Leto: I make zero promises

-

Jared Leto: UUUuuUuuuggHhggHhhghghg

finnish line: what even,,,

yuor angle: i’ll be the first to admit that a bouncy castle may have been a bit much

yuor devil: My everything hurts.

koolaid queen: what in god’s name did we DO

jessica rabbit: I have at least one new piercing,  _ Makoto _ .

yuor devil: And I have at least one new tattoo,  _ Yusuke _ .

ylvis: And I have a hangover,  _ Haru. _

yuor angle: honestly i cant protest this that’s entirely my fault

-

finnish line: yo why am i wearing a ring pop

koolaid queen: i was about to ask the same thing

steve: oh yeah, we invited lala over at some point and since shes ordained you two are married now

finnish line: wait what

steve: yeah i was busy getting akira down from a tree so yall made some irresponsible decisions

πthon: only two people were sober and half of them were participating in the stupid

pancaek: three

πthon: you dont count

pancaek: what why

πthon: bc towards the end of the night you said fuck it

pancaek: oh shut up

πthon: nahhhh

finnish line: let’s quickly make a Daring Escape!

Jared Leto: Oh my god are they home???

finnish line: ugyggughuhhhh we don’t have time, does anyone have mona

pancaek: i do

steve: i have the laser pointer

finnish line: great perfect wonderful let’s pop into mementos and fuckin DRIVE

πthon: waitwaitwait what about sae???

finnish line: shes pretty down for the count she probably wont even realize that we’re there, let’s just GO

ylvis: I’ll carry her.

yuor devil: I’ll help.

-

jessica rabbit: Okay, what was that thing?

yuor devil: I can’t believe my sister beat a Jack Frost over the head with Ryuji’s mask...

steve: i can’t believe it actually worked,,,,

Jared Leto: Sae how would you like to be a phantom thief because that was singlehandedly the most badass thing ive ever seen right next to makoto’s awakening

jessica rabbit: I thought you said I couldn’t awaken to a Persona, or whatever you called it. Something about Palace but no Palace? Plus, aren’t I a little too old for all that?

πthon: well, if my theory is correct, that has  _ changed _ . you’re what, 26? 27?

jessica rabbit: Around that, yeah.

πthon: well, how would you like to try once the others and i have our powers sorted out?

jessica rabbit: I’d rather not, but I’d be willing to help out however I can.

πthon: sick! from this day forwards, you are an  _ official  _ phantom thief ally! i’ll send you the decal later~

Jared Leto: Dw about the decal, it’s just a little thing you put on your laptop to signify to other allies, if ur uncomfy with that makoto has necklaces or bracelets

jessica rabbit: I’ll take a bracelet. Is this so the information has a reliable chain?

finnish line: ya, bc the phansite while good doesnt always have all the stuff we need

npc: there are a lot of them if you look closely at tokyo, but you easily make one of our most direct links

steve: we’re gettin pretty good at throwin the police off

yuor angle: well, it does always help to have a man on the inside~

jessica rabbit: I hope you know I just imagined you doing the anime villain laugh.

yuor devil: That was intended, Sis. Now, I need to get to work.

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Patterns 2 5 and 7

yuor devil: Color?

Jared Leto: Blue

yuor devil: … Understood, Joker.

-

“Ah, Niijima! I noticed your new bracelet, where did you get it? It’s very different to your normal jewelry.” Sae smiled politely, but alarms were blaring in her head.

“I found it in a box of my sister’s stuff over the weekend. She made it a long time ago for me, I decided to start wearing it since I don’t see her enough.” Her coworker cooed.

“That’s so adorable! Actually, could you help me with something really quick?” Sae nodded, and scooted over to her coworker, who slowly moved their laptop towards them. Sae saw a familiar symbol on their wrist. Their eyes met, and Sae quickly looked to the computer screen.

_ I.O. found a lead on someone new. Meet at Railroad at 23:30 next wedding. _

Sae nodded as she committed the message to memory before smiling.

“Was that all?” Her coworker nodded briskly, back to being cheery.

“And before I forget, tell the Comic that Frankenstein’s assistant says hello.”

-

jessica rabbit: Whoever I.O. is found a new lead. Crossroads on Wednesday at 11:30. Frankenstein’s assistant says hello.

Jared Leto: Perfect, thanks sae

leavenza.me.alone: A clever move, Trickster. A web of allies, running deep in every area of Tokyo. From the underbelly to the top.

Jared Leto: It was actually ryuji’s idea but go off i guess

steve: hell yeah i did a smart

SakaMotoMoto: ah! ruru, smoke wants to meet you to help call the shots for a game tomorrow!

steve: gotcha, what direction should i be headed

SakaMotoMoto: southwest.

steve: :ok_hand:


	68. ann is on fire

πthon: uuuuuuu this is the worst time to be a third year,,,,

yuor devil: You must be close to graduating now.

πthon: don’t remind me,,

ylvis: Would a day out help any?

πthon: yee

ylvis: I’ll meet you at home. Yours.

πthon: gotcha

-

“And then I was like, you can’t eat textbook paper! And Ryuji was all like, _try me_! So we ended up at Takemi’s.” Futaba was telling Yusuke stories as the two strolled around Shibuya, Futaba bouncing up and down to be able to see past the crowds. Finally, the two stopped at a bench and Yusuke crouched down so Futaba could sit on his shoulders.

“What was the thing from that show you liked? The quote? Form something or other?” Futaba pouted.

“Let’s not talk about that show. I respect what happened, but I’m _still upset!_ ” Yusuke ran a comforting hand through her hair.

“And that’s valid. You have emotions, and that’s good. Sometimes your emotion machine, as the kids say, decides to get all funky.” Futaba grinned and covered Yusuke’s eyes.

“Aside from the Show That Shall Not Be Named, lead the way, Yusuke!”

“Futaba I’m basically blind like this.”

“That makes it more fun! We can do that thing from Ratatouille!”

“We’re not doing the Ratatouille thing.”

“Be the Linguini to my Remy!”

“No.”

“The Vanessa to my Barry!”

“Absolutely not.”

“The Donkey to my Shrek!”

“What is wrong with you.”  
“So many things.”

-

πthon: so how hard would it be to harass yusuke into matching halloween costumes

Jared Leto: Whatcha thinking

πthon: remy and linguine

steve: i bet you could

Jared Leto: Oh okay hear me out ryuji and i both dress as colette

πthon: YES

ylvis: WHY.

steve: fam i get to wear a wig im down

ylvis: I hate all of you.

Jared Leto: Pinky swear itll just be us!!!!!

-

**You have (1) new message from Jared Leto!**

Jared Leto: Im gonna convince everyone to show up as colette

πthon: YES

-

finnish line: _@everyone_ im bored someone come shop with me

-

ylvis: Being Ann’s dress-up doll shouldn’t be this fun.

finnish line: omg yusukeeeeee come try this on!!

ylvis: On my way!

πthon: ohhh man this dress is adorable i need to try it on

finnish line: YESYESYESYESYES i’ll grab some accessories for you to try on with it~

πthon: sick

yuor devil: Best team bonding activity ever.

yuor angle: :D i’m glad you like it!!!!!

togoparty: I understand none of how this clothing works and I love it.

npc: this is beautiful to watch

shi a ho: yuuki be a dear and help me into these shoes

Jared Leto: Am i cute or nah

steve: cute

Jared Leto: HELL YEAH

Jared Leto: Actually ryuji monster favor to ask ya can you tighten the laces really quick

steve: Are You Sure

Jared Leto: _yes_

ylvis: Futaba!!

πthon: i know right!!! someone come get pics of me

Jared Leto: Squad squad squad

pancaek: futabaaaaa we maaattttccccchhhhhhhhh

πthon: goro come pose with me

finnish line: i can help!!! let’s get some magazine-worthy shots of yall

-

yuor devil: How was that both the most unproductive day ever and the most productive day ever?

yuor angle: the magic of clothes shopping

finnish line: i always wondered where haru shops for her cute clothes

yuor angle: i’m personally friends with some of the staff!!! 

finnish line: im bored someone come fight me

yuor devil: Fistfight or weapons?

finnish line: fistfight duh

yuor devil: I’ll be there in a second.

Jared Leto: Im bringing a camera

yuor angle: please send me the recording!!!

Jared Leto: Imma post it on youtube

πthon: LMAO

npc: go ann go ann

Jared Leto: HOT DAMN MAKOTO’S GOING AT IT

jessica rabbit: Please tell me she remembers what I told her.

Jared Leto: If her mumbling “sweep the legs, sweep the legs” is any indicator, then yes

jessica rabbit: I’m so proud.

Jared Leto: WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH

Jared Leto: ANN IS ON FIRE  
koolaid queen: yaassssss you go girl

Jared Leto: No literally

koolaid queen: wh

yuor angle: oh yeah

pancaek: probably should have mentioned what igor said abt that

Jared Leto: I mean she isn’t hurt so

Jared Leto: I’m assuming this is “normal”

pancaek: no not exactly

ylvis: Oh.

πthon: ohhhh

Jared Leto: Wtf am i missing then

πthon: lmao dont kill us we’ll tell u later XOXO

Jared Leto: The hell you- oh makoto won

finnish line: OW MY EVERYTHING

yuor devil: Hm. You could use practice, Ann.

finnish line: maybe later rn my body feels like one giant bruise

pancaek: f

finnish line: shut the hell up i beat you into the nth dimension last time

pancaek: i know this and i fear for my life if i ever have to fight makoto, she could kill me

yuor devil: I’m not special. An extremely dedicated duck could kill you.

Jared Leto: Hell with a proper plan anyone could murder anyone

pancaek: untrue, i couldnt murder you either of the times i tried

πthon: thats cause akira is immortal

pancaek: yknow what thats probably true

ylvis: As long he doesn’t go, as the kids say, “feral”.

πthon: inari u dumbass ur the kids

-

**██████ █████████: H̵͔́e̸̤͆L̷͎̒L̴̗̈́ǒ̸͖?̷̙͐ ̸̻̋Ḭ̶̔S̴̘̽ ̸̺̅ă̴̭N̵̺̽Y̵͙̒O̵̱̒n̶̳͝Ė̸̖ ̸̤̏T̸̓ͅH̵̟͝e̶̟͂r̴̨̆E̸̯̔?̶̦́**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow.


	69. :)

Another day, another message sent. No response, yet again. You get up from your chair and re-check all the doors, sliding food into the slots. You don’t like what you have to do, but you’d be dead otherwise. Only one of them has kept decent manners, and they’re the most dangerous of all of them, escaping at least once a day. So, you don’t really get out much. Going out would risk a Feral escaping, which could lead to you getting infected. You hum as you work, trying to drown out the screeches of your friends… No, your  _ former  _ friends. No matter how hard you’ve tried, they aren’t in there anymore. Eventually, you stopped referring to them by their real names. It hurt too much. Even now, if you catch a glimpse of blonde hair through the slot, a peek of red eyes… You try to brush it off as your computer pings. Well, ‘your’ computer. If you ever get her back, you really need to apologize to Oracle. Speak of the devil, a new screenshot came in.

-

**You have (1) new message from ylvis!**

πthon: inari, we have a breakthrough. i need you here in t-15, we only have a small window to get this all set up

-

“Testing, one-two-three. Inari, is this thing working?”  _ You hear shuffling in the background. Something sounds like it fell over. _

“We’re good, Baba. Stop leaving your soda cans everywhere.”

“Fuck you. Anyways, hi! We can’t hear your name, but this is Oracle and Fox. Fox, say hello.”  _ More shuffling. _

“I just realized that I cannot wave at you. Hello, Fox speaking.”  _ A giggle. _

“Dumbass Inari. Anyways, I’m Oracle. Or Navi. Depends on where you’re from. Either way, we got your messages! We’re looking to get in contact more directly very soon. Just… Know that we’re trying to help however we can. And check your phone. Signing off.”  _ You hear more clattering before the recording ends. You feel a too-wide smile grow on your face through the cacophony in the background. Light illuminates your face. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see you soon~  
> ... . .--. - . -- -... . .-. / ..--- -----


End file.
